Crow’s Feet

onehundredandninety

Laman stepped out of the lift and into the muggy, artificial heat of the hall. An officer loitered by the main entrance doors, speaking into a phone. He had his back turned to Laman and his shoulders lurched as he laughed at something his interlocutor had said. The officer turned to face Laman and then swiftly turned away with a guilty look, his voice lowering. Laman stepped through the main doors, laughing to himself. The fear they had of him – or rather his position – stretched all the way to fear of getting caught on the phone when they were supposed to be at their desk. It was ridiculous. As if he didn’t have greater concerns…
   Laman stepped into the office that he shared with Gardini. Gardini was stood at the open window. The heating was on full blast.
   “Good God, Gardini!” he shouted. “Are you trying to bring about the next climate collapse?”
   Gardini turned round with a startled look on his face.
   “I like the fresh air!” he said, in a jocular manner.
   “So turn off the heating.”
   “But then it’s too cold!” he whined with good humour.
   Laman let out an exaggerated sigh and settled into his chair. He tossed his bag onto his desk which sat opposite Gardini’s. Gardini had gone back to staring out of the window.
   “Did you see the place across the road got its window smashed over the weekend,” he said. “Right in front of a police station? Seriously?”
   “You happen to see if the sergeant has put it top of the unsolved board yet when you came in?” Gardini continued, looking back from the window with a smirk. Laman gave him an unimpressed look. It was too early.
   Laman began to go through the papers in his inbox. Despite the terror of the smashed window he was glad to see that it had not been significantly added to whilst he had been away.
   “Oh!” Gardini exclaimed in response to the rustling papers. “I nearly forgot. See that brown file?”
   Laman picked it from under where he had tossed his bag. It was as thick as the desk’s edge.
   “Shit, you’re kidding me? I thought I’d got away with it.”
   “No, no, no. It’s not work. Well, not for us, anyway. You have to look at it,” Gardini said, his face lit up.
   “Can it wait?  It’s early, I need something to wake me up.”
   “I’ll go get the drinks. You get started on that,” Gardini said. It was not like him to offer to take care of the office refreshments.
   Laman flicked through the first couple of pages. It was a mugshot, an interview transcript and the initial elements of an investigation case being built.
   “What is it?” he asked Gardini.
   Gardini came from the window and sat down at his desk.
   “It’s insane is what it is!” He banged the desk in delight. “I don’t want to spoil it too much but, look; this guy gets brought in over the weekend. He’s some computer programmer at a huge company.”
   “Which one?” Laman asked.
   “Check your monitor. Or your printer. Or the transport you came in on,” Gardini grinned. “Anyway. It’s now got one less factory because he torched the one outside town to the ground!”
   Laman sat back in his chair. He flicked to the front page of the document. The suspect’s mugshot was there. Looking closer he noticed the dark smears in the photo were not shadows – as he had first thought – but soot.
   “Yeah,” Gardini continued. “It’s crazy. They were round his place this morning. It’s a one man military outpost. Looks like he’s been planning this for years.”
   “Who is he though? Why’d he do it?”
   Gardini got to his feet and pointed at the folder.
   “I’m going out. It’s all in there.” He laughed, “It’ll give us something to talk about this afternoon.”
   Gardini stepped out into the main office. The flood of voices and ringing phones ebbed and flowed as the door was opened and then shut. Laman took out the transcript pages and tossed the folder onto the desk. The photo came loose and drifted out. He flipped open the cover page and began to read;

SUSPECT INTERVIEW: ARCHARD, H
PRESENT: OFFICERS OSTROWER & TWOMEY
DATE: XX/XX/20XX
LOCATION: Okeep Municipal Station
CASE IDENTIFIER: K33410

OSTROWER: Officers Ostrower and Twomey present on date 20XX. Interview with Mr. Archard commencing at 1500 hours. Mr. Archard has refused his right to legal counsel and…
ARCHARD: I don’t need a damn lawyer and I’m going to confess so you can just…OSTROWER: …Mr. Archard has waived his right to legal counsel and is proceeding with the interview without further recourse. So, Mr. Archard, on the night of…
ARCHARD: Yeah, on the night of XX I was preparing and detonating a battery of chemical fire bombs at the Tartarus Corp. Factory, Stonewick. I told you. I admit it. It was me. What you need to do is go after…
OSTROWER: And you acted alone in this plan to firebomb the factory? You devised the actions? Created the weapons? Detonated the charges?
ARCHARD: Yes, yes! Go to my house. You’ll find the schematics for the bombs, the blueprints for the factory, the tools I used. You’ll find it all. Do it, I don’t care! But first you have to go and arrest Sobel!
OSTROWER: To clarify, the person to whom you are referring is Mr. Urbain Sobel, the owner of the Tartarus Corporation?
ARCHARD: Yes! Look, I’m not crazy, OK? Do I look crazy to you?… I’m not crazy. I know what I’ve done. I know that it was “wrong”. I’m confessing to it right now. But you have to go and arrest Sobel. Just bring him in. Ask him what he knows.
OSTROWER: How long were you in the employ of the Tartarus Corporation, Mr. Archard?
ARCHARD: Fuck! Why aren’t you listening to…
OSTROWER: How long were you in…
ARCHARD: Ten years. Ten years until two years ago when I quit! OK?
OSTROWER: And, whilst you were in the employ of…
ARCHARD: *sigh* I was a software engineer. Initially the hardware team and then the VR unit. I worked under Allix Marra. I made a temporary move to the… Look, is this really necessary? We’re wasting valuable time here.
OSTROWER: Mr. Archard, it’s a very serious crime that’s been investigated here. Whilst there were no apparent deaths the damage is absolutely catastrophic…
ARCHARD: Good!
OSTROWER: Mr. Archard…
ARCHARD: Good! I hope it burned to the fucking ground!
TWOMEY: As my partner said, there are no apparent deaths, Mr. Archard. Right now you are looking at a charge of destruction of property. But if we find out that there was anyone inside…
ARCHARD: *sound of a table being struck* I’m going down for the building anyway, right? We all know it! It wouldn’t matter if there were people inside. I did everything I could to make sure that there weren’t… I’m going down because the building is owned by the largest tech firm on…
OSTROWER: Mr. Archard, the provenance of the factory is entirely immaterial…
ARCHARD: Bull-shit! And whilst you’re here sweating me he is getting away. This is just what he wants! But what he doesn’t want is you checking out the basement of that factory. Checking out the notes I have at my home. Ream after ream of files and papers.
TWOMEY: Files on what, Mr. Archard? We are looking to establish why you would…ARCHARD: *laughing* Why? Why!? OK. OK, I’ll tell you why. But you need to promise me one thing, OK?
OSTROWER:…
ARCHARD: *sigh* OK. Well, maybe when you hear you’ll start to give a shit and start to do your job. Maybe once you see… Can I get some water?

*The interview is suspended here for a period of 247 seconds.

ARCHARD: Jourdain Carlin. He worked at the Stonewick plant. You’ll find his name if you look back on their records. *laugh* Well, maybe you won’t. But you might find him on your own missing persons records if you go back 2 years or so. He was a nobody in the business but I know he had people who cared for him. If you look hard enough you might even find record of him reporting a crime to you. *laugh* Or, again, maybe you won’t. He reported an assault to you. An assault on his wife. Her name is Madella Carlin. He reported this to you and he told you what happened and who did it and you did nothing!
OSTROWER:…
TWOMEY: Who did he accuse?
ARCHARD: He accused Urbain Sobel. Yeah… I can see by your faces. I’m sure that’s what the other officers thought. How could someone so successful do something like that and risk it all for some girl who worked as a nothing secretary? That’s why he got away with it. But that wasn’t good enough for him. Someone like Carlin standing up to him. A nobody… I worked in the same plant as Carlin for a time. Different sections, obviously, he was much lower down the chain. But we spoke a lot when we crossed paths. He was a good man. But after what happened… I have never seen a man reduced to so little. He had no choice but to keep the job. Neither did she. They needed the income. To have to go on making money for…
TWOMEY: Mr. Archard?
ARCHARD: *inaudible mutter* He was a broken man. I wonder if he’d known the kind of man Sobel… if he’d have bothered to go through with it. Perhaps he would? I found out about it because *laughing and quiet sobbing*. It was my work, I suppose. Not what I designed it to do. They… I can’t understand why… When I looked into the data further…TWOMEY: Have some water. Take your time.
ARCHARD: Thank you. *sounds of drinking. Sighing*. They wired him up. That’s what they did. They wired up Jourdain Carlin forever.
OSTROWER: What do you mean they “wired him up?”
ARCHARD: You’ll see. Maybe. If you go to the basement like I told you. That’s where he was. I made sure that no-one else was there but I knew he would be. You think I burned down the factory because I hated my boss, is that it? Just one more crazy driven to the brink by overwork? I did it to save him.
OSTROWER: I still don’t follow…
ARCHARD: He was hooked up to a simulated reality. Wired in meat. Nothing more. They had him on drips and intubation and the rest. Enough to keep his body alive whilst his mind… It was the most complex piece of software I have ever seen. And for what? Just to torture an innocent man for standing up?
OSTROWER: Mr. Archard, I’m sorry, I’m not as technical as yourself. What exactly are you talking about?
ARCHARD: I’m talking about… You know that everything around us, the way that we interpret it, anyway, is only a chemical reaction, right? This cup. That light. This desk *slam*. They only are because our brain is firing off a cocktail of elements and electricity telling us what it looks like, what it sounds like, what it smells like. Well, you can replicate those interpretations. I never knew how great a scale you could do it on until now… They had every sense wired up to a computer. His world, this world, was completely shut off. The computer was providing the reality for him, feeding it directly into his nerves and brain tissue. And what they created…
TWOMEY: You have to appreciate that this is very far-fetched stuff, Mr. Archard. If you are trying to provide a justification for what has happened then…
ARCHARD: Justification? *laughing* Imagine, officer, existing in a world that was constructed in order that you suffer. Imagine, not only having to inhabit this world as a lone individual but as every element of life in it. This is what they did. He was experiencing the suffering of countless billions of organisms all at once. And it was the most brutal existence you can imagine. The creatures were not like those of this reality. Carbon that rotted from the day it was born. Imagine inhabiting that kind of body? Feeling yourself decay as your cells copy each other more and more ineffectively. And the provenance of these beings was not governed by any kind of control. They bred. Mindlessly. The information that was being passed along the chain compelled them to multiply, even though the atmosphere that they existed in was so inimical to life. Even though the resources were finite Creatures so disgusting and cursed they would turn your stomach. He lived in them.
OSTROWER: Mr Archard…
ARCHARD: It was perfect. Perfect horror. Simultaneously having to exist within these biological mutants that were weak enough to suffer but not weak enough to die. But it didn’t stop there. They grew in complexity. Nerves building on nerves, creating new senses and means for pain. They grew in numbers, too. Each living carcass that was born, or died in birth, was another conduit for him to experience that cursed world through. From single cells to complex organisms, it spread out like a web with him in the middle, having the wretched experiences of a whole planet directed into his consciousness by the machine.
OSTROWER: This is… this isn’t getting us anywhere, Mr…
ARCHARD: I don’t care. I don’t care. This isn’t about you or I. This is about a man being subjected to…. Look, try and imagine. Just try and get your head around it for one second, OK? It… it never would have stopped. I looked at the code. All of this was happening in an artificially accelerated simulation but he would have been experiencing it in real time… *choking sound* 4 billion years? OK? 4 billion years and no end was in sight. By the time I intervened he was experiencing the abject reality of over 7 billion sapient organisms. Trapped in their vile, rotting bodies. And that planet… pucked and dying, hurtling through a void that would have killed them in seconds. I couldn’t imagine a greater torment…. And it was all engineered.
OSTROWER: So, this was all a rescue mission? Burning down an entire factory complex?
ARCHARD: It was a mercy killing… I was the only one who knew. The only one who could have done anything… I had to make it right.
TWOMEY: And what about all those lives inside the machine?
OSTROWER: Twomey, I don’t think…
ARCHARD: What lives?
TWOMEY: The lives. You said there were 7 billion sapient beings, creatures, whatever. And the rest of the life on that planet as well. What happened to them when you torched the computer?
ARCHARD: They… they weren’t real… they were only part of the simulation. Part of Carlin. He was all of them at once.
TWOMEY: And they weren’t, then, individuals? With their lives and their friends and their dreams?
ARCHARD: They…
TWOMEY: Well? Weren’t they?
ARCHARD: They were damned. In as much as they were real people and not just manifestations of Carlin… they were victims of the dreaming machine.  And when their world, their universe, their very existence was scorched into nothing, I became the only one who knew that they were ever real. And when I die, and I will die soon I am sure, the dream will be gone forever and the only memory, the only record, of their world will be.. this… sad…. confession…

                   *

Laman tossed the paper onto the desk. It went on but he didn’t have the energy to read further. He tried to shake off the black cloud that he felt coming down. He picked up the photo on the desk. There was a terrible depth to Archard’s stare into camera that he had not seen the first time. There was a low, smouldering fire at the bottom of that gaze that jumped out at him, now. It sent a chill through his core. Gardini barged through the door with his usual level of grace.
   “All done?” he chuckled, placing the drink down on the desk in front of Laman. Laman didn’t know how to reply.
   “Can you open that window whilst you’re up?” he asked as Gardini went round to his side of the desk.
   “What about the environment?” Gardini smirked as he opened the window.
   “I need the fresh air,” Laman replied. Gardini laughed;
   “Yeah, it’s a bit of a brain melter isn’t it?” he said. “I saw Twomey when I was coming back up. How far’d you get into it?”
   Laman was only providing half his attention. He could not shake the lingering chill.
   “Huh? Erm, about halfway I think. I don’t know,” he replied at last
   “It keeps going. He goes into real detail. Starts listing the events that occured in the simulation. Mass extinctions, wars, slavery, genocides. It’s a real horror show. That’s not to mention all the little acts of bland cruelty he goes into…”
   Gardini sighed a little and took a sip of his drink.
   “Some people have a sick imagination.”
   “You don’t believe him?” Laman enquired.
   “Well, no? No, of course not. The guys a lunatic, he burned down a whole factory complex. What? You do?”
   “I don’t know, I mean… did they check out the crime scene yet?”
   “Yeah.”
   “And the basement?”
   Gardini rubbed his face with one thin, silver tendril. He blinked his single, compound eye. He took another sip from the shimmering liquid in the cup.
   “There was some equipment down there, apparently, but everything was too burned for any identification.”
   “Was there a body?”
   Gardini went over to the window. Laman watched him and the black, bruised sky behind. It was morning and the distant light of the sun was barely a smear in the far atmosphere. It had started to rain. The particles of glass sparkled in the halogen lights that seeped out of the building through the open window.
   “You know, if what he was talking about was even possible, a simulation of a world built on nightmares, and you could subject a being to it – would you even want to know?” Gardini said, staring out into the glittering dark.
   Laman thought about it for a moment. He thought about pink, carbon lifeforms thrashing and fighting and eating one another under a sun that could burn the skin. He thought about a limitless universe and an absent God and a need, a screaming relentless need, to create more life to suffer. If he had been stood there with a flaming torch, would he not have put it to the building, too? And, yet, this was all the dream of someone from his own existence.  He wondered at what point someone looking from within an alien mind might find it a mercy and not a sin to put the torch to his own world…
   “You OK, pal?” Gardini asked.
   “Yeah. Just thinking. I suppose I wouldn’t want to know. In fact I might… I don’t know. I’m not sure I’d even want this to record it ever having been,” he replied, picking up the statement.
   “So light it up,” Gardini replied. “Like he lit up the building.”
   Laman picked up his cup and sipped the shimmering, purple liquid.
   “It wouldn’t do any good,” he said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to forget.”
   He ran a tendril across the surface of the desk and picked the next file from the tray.

The Clockwork Assassin

onehundredandeightysix

I

The ship coursed through emerald waters, beneath a bare and vibrant sky. Gulls wheeled overhead, their beggar cries stilted in the dry air. The vague outline of the port came into view as a dark smear on the horizon.

Three men were seated upon the deck in a loose triangle, sitting on overturned buckets and tubs. They tossed bleached knucklebones onto the boards, trading small coins as the fall of bones decreed. The man who faced the captain’s cabin looked up now and then from the ring drawn shakily drawn in chalk on the deck. Whom he watched, over the heads of his gaming companions, was another man sat cross legged atop the cabin. This man wore loose linen clothing and his skin was a sun-seared brown. An intricately patterned swath of cloth veiled the lower half of his face.

The man, who was sat on an overturned tub, looked back to his game.

“It’s your throw, Behrat” spoke another of the players, his eyes squinting against a sun which glittered on his golden teeth.

“Not so keen to throw now that you’re losing and the port is coming on, huh?” sneered the third player.

Behrat had only met this man on board the ship and he did not care for the way he jostled him over his bad luck as if they were firm friends. The man, this third player, was young but was balding early and kept a cloth thrown over his head and shoulders as they gamed in the sun. Well, nevermind, thought Behrat. Through a series of conspiratorial glances and signs he and his companion, Gohrn the Barber (he of the golden teeth) had made a pact to disabuse the man of his winnings, his stake and perhaps his life as soon as the ship set down and any opportunity presented. Foolish boy; the port of Sol Midan was no place to find one’s feet. He was a pup running amongst wolves.

Behrat scooped up the bones and shook them in his broad fist. The pup stared intently into the clenched hand as if it were his own bones rattling within. Gohrn watched the boy from the corner of his eye and wore a jackal’s smile.

“Gohrn…?”, Behrat spoke as he shook the bones.

“Stop stalling!” bleated the boy with the cloth about his head.

“On top of the cabin. Slow, like” continued Behrat.

Gohrn reached behind him to scratch his shoulder blade and used the turn to catch a glimpse of the man sat atop the cabin.

“Now where did he spring from?” he said as he turned back.

“You’re not any better!” laughed the boy, “You see, I’ll win those gold teeth out of your head before we make land!”

The two men paid no heed to his ill-judged jocularity. They stared down into the chalk circle and spoke in hushed tones.

“He must have been in the First Mate’s bunk. I wondered why the Captain was without a second” whispered Behrat.

“Then why appear now?” replied Gohrn.

“Who knows why he does anything? Perhaps he thought he might send a rumour amongst Sol Midan that he was back in town?” posited Behrat.

“Who?” asked the boy.

“There’s money to be made ashore if we help set that rumour in stone amongst the right people” ventured Gohrn.

“Who!?” the boy pestered.

“I’d sooner cross a sick cobra than him, Gohrn. Think with your head and not your greedy palm”.

As Behrat’s eyes flicked once more to the man atop the cabin, the boy turned and glanced full long at him. Behrat tossed the bones full onto the deck where they clacked and rumbled with exaggerated loudness in the dry air. The boy looked back instinctively, like a dog following the sound of scraps hitting its bowl.

“Keep your eyes down!” hissed Behrat.

His eyes down, but now wide as plates, the boy adjusted the cloth that had slipped back on his head, exposing a fine thatch of blonde hair and his pink scalp to the sun.

“Is that him?” he whispered breathlessly.

Gohrn flashed another surreptitious glance over his shoulder.

“Pick up the bones. Don’t draw attention” he said to the boy.

The boy continued the motions of the game but all attention was now being paid to the figure from whom the three attempted to withhold their eager gaze.

“Why does he wear the mask?” whispered the boy, unable to maintain his silence, “I heard that he tried to take the daughter of a great King to his bed and the King had his teeth filed to points like that of a beast!”

“I never saw Craid with any woman” replied Behrat, curtly.

“It was a woman that did that to him” spoke Gohrn, “but it was his own mother! I knew a man, once, who had seen beneath that veil. He shared a bunk with him on a shop just like this one.” And here he pointed down to the tired, salt worn deck. “The man snuck a look whilst he slept. Craid is a half breed. His mother sired him with a lizard man from the Tantal Heights. He has the snout of a dragon and fangs that drip venom. That is why they can never catch him, he can blend into any wall and squeeze through the bars of any cell!”

Behrat listened to their childish whispers with disdain. He did not know what lay beneath Craid’s veil and he did not know how no legion nor bounty hunter had managed to take him in, but he had heard the same stories and dismissed them out of hand. The world needed an excuse for a man like Craid. And, when it could not find one in the everyday, for none could match his strangeness, an alternative was sought in dark realms. But he, Behrat, had looked into Craid’s eyes once, many years ago, a tiny knife point-small scar just below his own heart was the proof of that if the fools cared to look, and he had seen enough to draw his own conclusion. This much he knew; Craid had abandoned all human apprehensions in a way that the most degenerate corsair, cut purse or assassin could not imagine. He had gone beyond the outer darkness and come back full into the light. A light so harsh that it blinded and burned away the flesh He could not be sought or bound because he existed apart from the rules and expectations of the world of men. Behrat had seen it in that split second, when death was so close that one could only see that which was true. The nature and the true name of things. And he had seen a fool; a lunatic jester dancing in the wasting light, staring back across the void at a feeble court of mortal kings, laughing at a joke that only he knew the meaning of.

“… to take the life of Medici if you ask me.”

The chattering faded in once more as Behrat came around from his reverie, a cold shiver whipping across his broad chest in spite of the furnace-like heat. He caught movement on top of the cabin and he slipped his hand inside his shirt as he felt a twinge below his heart.

“Eyes down, boys” he muttered as he watched Craid stand and stare out to the horizon. He felt a burning sensation at the base of his neck that was not the searing sun that hung overhead but some animal instinct. Some impossibly ancient prey response. He felt his gaze wrenched up beyond his control and he saw Craid looking back at him, a hand slipped within his own shirt, just below the heart. And with that the veiled thief walkedaway across the top of the cabin and disappeared from view.

*

As the ship dropped anchor in Sol Midan, the deck and the quay below came alive. Those who had sought refuge from the burning sky came up from the bowels of the ship and Sol Midan’s soldiers and legions of customs officers gathered to meet them. The soldiers stood at the foot of the gangway with spears and swords as the customers officers boarded, bearing their quills and ledgers with no less menace. The captain came to the meet the retinue of robed administrators and his purse jangled with each step that he took. Sol Midan was the city of merchants and thieves and there was ample room for the gambler and the gamer to collect the coins that scattered in the midst of the chaos. As long as one could play the odds, and the hand that one held, well enough there was plenty to be sheared away as the money changed hands.

Behrat, Gohrn and the boy waited in the shade of the dampening sails, and under the watch of Sol Midan’s guards, as the captain and the stock takers waged their little battle of numbers in the hold. In time there was the sound of rushing feet on the wooden stairs. One of the customs officers came bursting from the hold, his cloak drawn about his face. He pushed, cursing, through the crowds of pirates and privateers who made up the crew and its passengers. He headed down the gangway shouting in the haughty, course Sol Midan accent;

“Swine! Whatever they are transporting in that ship it stinks worse than a whore’s rotten linen!”

Spluttering, he pushed through the line of soldiers and promptly vomited on the hot stones of the quays. Pulling his cloak back about his face in revulsion he shouted, choking, once more at the hollering passengers;

“Northern animals! They should scuttle this tub and you all along with it!”

And, against a barrage of hoots and laughter and jeers from those on board, he disappeared into the crowds that swarmed the market on the dock.

It was only when the captain and the customs officers emerged from below deck five minutes later, laughing and looking fatted with gold, that some of the soldiers cast nervous glances at one another. Behrat, deep in the shade, smiled to himself. The boy was asking Gohrn where they might all find a drink and a woman. His great hand falling on his shoulder, Behrat assured the boy that he knew just the place to rid himself of his winnings.

II

Craid stuck to the back streets, moving amongst the shadows and hemmed in by the high, whitewashed walls. Flitting between the shade and the slats of light which fell between the tightly packed building, he discarded the cloak he had adopted to exit the ship down the first courtyard well that he found. There were few people here amongst the quiet avenues away from the markets, only the odd beggar woman or gaggle of playing children. In the still, shady laneways the smell of lemons and oranges drifted down from the hillside orchards and mingled with the warm smell of freshly washed sheets drying on lines strung between the windows overhead.

Craid found Conigliari’s modest townhouse by way of a mental map that recorded a city which grew as swiftly as a vine. But even after a decade it did not fail him. Conigliari was a shrewd man who knew his business. His home was here amongst the workers quarters. His customers sought out his specific wares and he had no need to peacock in the merchant’s quarter. In addition, the pace of construction and expansion was not so quick here amongst the homes of dockers, textilers and fishermen.

Craid stood in the shade of the small porch and knocked on the large, oak door. It opened and a dark face peered quizzically out at him from the gap.

“I’m here to see Dr. Conigliari” Craid said.

“The master is not at home, sir” came the reply.

A long silence followed as the servant girl stared into the calm eyes of the strange, veiled caller on the doorstop. The reedy smell of books floated in the air as it drifted down the hall and out into the light.

“Will he be long returning?” asked Craid.

“I can’t say, sir.”

“Well, did he give any indication?” Craid persisted.

“No sir, only that he was going out. He did not say where to” came the reply.

Craid narrowed his eyes.

“When did Dr. Conigliari leave?” he asked.

The girls eyes fluttered nervously. She seemed to seek imagined conspirators over his shoulder.

“Three nights ago, sir” she said at last.

*

Craid sat in the parlour. Having, in time, convinced the girl that he had a history with Conigliari, as well as legitimate business, and was not one of the chimeric vultures she supposed were beginning to circle the horde her master had seemingly abandoned to her charge. She brought him tea on a silver tray and poured as Craid readied his line of enquiry. Motes of dust peppered the rays of light that crept through windows across which all blinds were drawn.There was the air of a seige about the quiet house filled with its books, art and fetishes gathered from all corners of the world. And it was not just the girl’s wild fancy that made it so. Word and rumour travelled fast amongst the seedy alleys and taverns that littered the steep hill on which Sol Midan stood. Though Conigliari’s wares were not of the type that most prospective thieves would even begin to know where to fence, Craid knew that the dumbest would not be stopped by this and the that the truly cunning would be drawn by it. Craid knew, for, if he were not so indebted to the man, he would be lurking on the house’s boundary himself.

He took a pinch of snuff and winced as a shiver went across his shoulder blades. The servant girl was walking off to the kitchen with the silver tray.

“Wait” Craid called, “I need to speak to you.”

She set the tray down on the low table in front of them and sat in the seat opposite Craid, looking apprehensive. Craid went to pour her tea and realized, of course, she had brought only one cup. She sat, staring down at her hands which were clasped between her knees.

“What’s your name?” Craid asked.

“Ola, sir” she replied, talking down at her feet.

“How long have you worked for the doctor?” he continued.

“I’m not sure, sir. A good while, sir.”

Craid saw shining tears begin to run from her downturned eyes.

“You’re from Sabtah, am I right?” Craid asked after a time.

She up at him now, surprised and swallowing back her tears.

“Sabtah Shebah, sir.”

“Ah, I was close, though? Near the border?” he asked.

The tiniest flicker of a smile came across her lips.

“Yes, sir” she said.

“I’m glad you give a chitsiru the benefit of his efforts. I’ve been on the end of a blade for making that mistake before”, Craid laughed.

Ola gave him a puzzled little smile now but her hands still shook and she clasped them tight again between her knees.

“Would you take some snuff?” Craid asked, offering the little pewter box.

She looked back to her hands and shook her head.

“It’s Gongg Root. I think you’re in shock” Craid suggested.

She looked up again.

“Gongg Root?”

Craid nodded, took another pinch himself and held the box out to her once more.

Hesitantly, and without looking Criad in the eye, she took a small pinch between her thumb and ring finger and put it to her nose. A violent judder went across her shoulders and she sat back and she closed her large brown eyes. Craid brought the tea to his face and breathed deeply. It had the sweet, sharp scent of orange blossom. He put it down again.

“Have you any idea, Ola, any idea at all, where Conigliari might have gone?” he asked.

“I don’t have any idea. He rarely talks to me about business, Mr. Craid.”

“I know what a servant overhears” Craid pressed. “anyone he spoke with? Any deal he talked about?”

“He talked about you”, the girl replied, languidly, her eyes closing again. “He said that you would come and that you would have something for him. He said that I should not let you into the house if I was alone.” She giggled behind her hands and opened her eyes to look at Craid. Her pupils were like saucers. “I think he’s a little afraid of you. He said you have the voice of a demon. And you do. It is like it comes from the other other side of the room. But he also said that your eyes are cruel and they are not.”

Craid began to wonder if he had made a mistake with the Gongg Root. The girl seemed to have drifted into an exhausted sleep. Craid brought the cooled tea under the bandit’s cloth about his face and poured it down his throat. He sat and waited. She slept til the sun began to fall and the light thrown across her from the window grew pale. Ola awoke as if she had only dropped off for a matter of minutes.

“Where will you stay tonight, Mr. Craid?” she said now, still dreamily but more lucid.

“I can find somewhere, I’m sure” Craid replied.

“Oh no,” she exclaimed, her eyes wide, “It is not safe. There is a madman loose in Sol Midan.

Craid sat forward.

“A madman?”

The girl’s hands once more clasped between her knees as she continued.

“They have found many bodies. Horribly torn as if by some beast. All out in the open. Not a day goes by that you don’t fear to stumble across the aftermath in some alley or down in the market. He is striking in the night.”

Craid narrowed his eyes.

“Do you know any of the names? Of the victims, I mean” he asked.

“One was Medici, I had heard his name before. Another was Colombo. Then Bordelli.”

“Bordicelli, do you mean” Craid interrupted.

“Yes, that was the name” Ola replied.

“Goddammit” whispered Craid, “they’re all merchants. He’s no madman. He, or she, is an assassin.”

III

It was the dead of the night when Craid crept to the side of her bed. Her room, in the back of the house, was spare. An extinguished lamp and a couple of books on the bedside table. A small mirror on the chest of drawers. A brush threaded with curls of her root-black hair. He watched her chest rise and fall with exhausted sleep and then sidled out of the room.

Craid didn’t wish to leave her and he didn’t wish to have her worry that he had left. He had few friends in Sol Midan and none that he could trust with the knowledge that Conigliari was missing from his stronghold.

Craid slid out of the front door and locked it behind him. A small window left open in the room she had readied for him would be the point of ingress upon his return. It was on the second floor and away from the view of the street and he was comfortable leaving it ajar.

The streets of Sol Midan were perturbingly quiet. Even the accustomed light that glowed down in the harbour as the ships land and unloaded through the long night was dimmer than in days past. He slunk into one of the dark alleys and began to move towards his destination, a high and brilliant moon painting the white walls of the buildings a sickly blue.

He had not seen a single other person by the time he arrived and was crouched on a roof on the edge of the merchant’s quarter and was plotting his route amongst the new development. The merchant quarters nighttime crowds were less diminished than the rest of the city despite the, obviously quite targeted, slaughter that had descended on Sol Midan. Those who basked in the opulence and decadence that this corner of the city radiated were less likely to fear a madman and more a knock from the taxman at their door.

Craid, conversely, was more concerned with the threat which this particular part of the city posed him. A docker wouldn’t recognize him as anything but one more shadow sliding around the great warehouses on the quay, but a merchant, or any member of one of their their little private militias, may remember a scar he had left on their faces or inventories.

He made his way towards Francini’s mansion with caution. It, like many of the other buildings here, had grown new wings and towers in the interim, swallowing or incorporating adjacent buildings like a creeping fungus. Nonetheless, Craid found he still had enough memory and intuition to find his way in and soon enough he was lurking in a dark corner of one of the servant’s passages, listening as the muted roar of the party taking place in the great hall below, bounced between the walls around him.

Eventually he found Francini’s private quarters: in the opposite corner of the house to that which they had previously resided. But they were no less ostentatious for the move. Francini, the self-appointed mediator and facilitator amongst the ever warring guilds and factions of merchants, under the figurehead of the prince of Sol Midan, was like a mongoose amongst a pit of vipers and his riches had only grown. Craid turned over the possibility that he, Francini, was the dark aegis of Sol Midan’s spate of assassination. But Craid knew only half the story, a scared servant girls nightmares and a few deserted streets were slim intelligence.  He knew that he would need to bleed a pig and see how it squealed to hear the other half.

Within the hour the great double doors were flung wide and the pig came shuffling back to his sty. Craid watched on from the shadows of the grand bed chamber in which he had lain in wait. Francini was accompanied by a lithe and drunken girl who hung from his fat, sweating neck. The two sodden dancers wheeled about the room knocking over standing tables and lamps, laughing giddily. Craid watched the girl playfully push Francini onto the huge bed where he fell into it with exaggerated shock. She slid the, almost sheer, dress that she wore from her shoulders and it floated to the floor. She climbed, nude, atop Francini who giggled and grunted with pleasure. Craid slid from the shadows and crept, keeping low, towards the bed.

The girl was leaning down towards the leering and satisfied face that stared up at her from the pillow when Craid took her. Francini barely had time to gather his dulled and disoriented senses as Craid slipped the sedative soaked cloth about the girl’s face and pulled her from the bed, laying her naked body, already insensate, onto the soft rug. As Francini regained his consciousness there was a new figure atop him and staring down into his eyes. This one was less becoming; veiled and with eyes that burned out with horrid mischief. At the end of one down stretched arm was a blade and its tip pressed lightly against Francini’s adam’s apple.

“Now, I’m sure you’re paying for this young ladies’ company by the hour so I’ll try to be brief. I may even pay my share for this little interruption as I leave. Do I still have credit here?” Craid whispered, mockingly.

 

“Craid!…”

“You might need to help me with the calculation” Craid continued,”how much is a whore in Sol Midan nowadays?”

“Guar…” Francini began to spit out before Craid cut him short with a minute increase of pressure on the blade.

“Come now, Luca, you may be fatter and drunker but you wouldn’t still be here if you’d grown that much more foolish” he chuckled.

Francini sweated and grew a little pinker as his only response.

“Very wise, we’re on the clock after all” quipped Craid, “I only need some some information, Luca, and then I’ll be gone once again. I need to know everything that you know” and here Craid traced a tiny circle on the man’s larynx with the razor point of the dagger, “about the nasty things that are happening at night in these parts.”

“Why… would I trust… you…” Francini gasped, and with each word that he spoke he felt the tickle of the blade against his delicate skin.

Craid withdrew the blade but kept it poised in the air where it gently bobbed back and forth before Francini’s eyes like a swaying cobra. Francini swallowed hard.

“Who’s been killed?” Craid asked.

“Medici. Colombo. Bordicelli.”

“And who’s responsible?” Craid continued, his eyes narrowing.

“I don’t know, I swear it. I’ve felt around, as much as I dare, and found nothing” Francini whined.

“The Prince? Is he losing his grip on the merchants?”

“No” Francini slurred, “Perhaps a few years ago. Perhaps Medici might have been a target. But not now. His father’s might in the capital is greater than ever; there is no reason.”

“Then a thief? A shipper? A priest? Who might have a vendetta against the merchants?”

Francini choked out a mocking laugh.

“I’m as lost as you, boy” he grinned.

The dagger danced back and forth in Craid’s hand.

“Have you considered Conigliari?” Francini spat, “the old sorcerer has always been apart.”

“He has no need to assert his will in such a way, we both know that” replied Craid. But Francini was right, he was lost. And it was apparent that the corpulent merchant, transparent with drink, was hiding nothing. But then something came to him.

“Who’s competing with Conigliari?” Craid asked.

Francini laughed again.

“Who ever competes with him in that line of work!? Even with you gone he still deals in his usual unique line of arcana” he said.

“There was always one” retorted Craid.

“Well, I suppose D’Agostini runs some merchandise like that” Francini mumbled. The fire was going out of the situation and the drink was overcoming him.

“The watchmaker?”

“No” Francini replied, “his son. D’Agostini the Elder is long dead. But the boy is quite the up and comer, now. Purveyor of a few choice finds that even Conigliari would be proud of. The sort of thing that you used to bring him “ he said with a sneer.

“Where do I find him?” demanded Craid.

“In his father’s old workshop up on the hill. He runs his office out of there. I’m sure you remember; I recall the old man sparing your hands with a kind word to the Prince after finding a certain masked youth with his fingers feeling out his safe, all those years ago.”

Francini was getting sloppy and bold through drunkenness and with the atmosphere of fear giving way to advantage. Craid decided to cut their interview short before the merchant did something stupid like call out for help. The knife still poised, Craid slipped a hand inside his shirt and and pulled out a gold coin

“For your time. And hers” he whispered.

As Francini opened his mouth to scream and curse, Craid slid the coin into the merchant’s mouth and then smothered it with the soporific cloth. Francini’s eyes flared with anger and his pupils expanded like sinkholes before rolling back into his head. Craid pulled the bed sheet from under the titanic mass of flesh and laid it across the girl who still slept on the floor. He climbed onto the windowsill and looked out over Sol Midan. The sun was just beginning to break the horizon, far out at sea.  

IV

Craid snuck back through the streets in the hazy light of dawn. The smell of the ocean hung in each damp particle that was suspended in the air. He passed a tavern and saw through the window, slumped over a table, the man Behrat and his gold-toothed companion whom he had seen on the ship. They seemed to have obtained, then blown on rum and women, some kind of purse since having made land.

As Craid was coming down into the quays the broadening sunlight was beginning to creep up out of the sea and onto the flagstones, as if brought in with the tide. He aimed to procure some provisions from the early market stalls before the crowds began to gather. As Craid stepped out onto the dock he saw a strange figure walking in his direction. The detail was lost in the deep shadow that was thrown from the sun behind, but the light was not enough to obscure, in fact it only highlighted, that from which the figure walked away. It was a man slumped on the ground, the growing pool of fresh blood around him sparkling and shimmering in the dawn. The figure, walking with a strange and stiff gait, drew nearer and Craid freed his blade.

“Good morning!” he called with glib humour.

The figure kept walking. Craid glanced over his own shoulder down the alley from which he had emerged.

“Heading to the coffeehouse for an eye opener?” he shouted.

But the figure made no reply. It was within 30 foot now and Craid tried to piece together the collection of bizarre traits that it presented. It wore a hooded robe that was drawn across its broad chest. It bore a mask of shining bronze, the features plain. Neither comedy nor tragedy emanated from the black apertures of its eyes and mouth. In a hand that was not of flesh it carried a blade not unlike his own.

“It’s an early morning to be so active” snarled Craid, beginning to walk towards the figure. “Perhaps… best to return to sleep!” and he lunged forward, parrying away the knife that the figure thrust to meet him and tying up its other arm behind its back. But almost as soon as Craid noticed that the arm upon which he laid his hands was, beneath the cloak, as hard and jagged as cliff rock, the arm was torn free from his grasp as if it were only a swathe of cobweb and a series of thrusts and slashes of the dagger were thrown at his face.

Craid ducked, weaved and moved in, lashing out with his own knife. He was face to face with the thing now, inches from its hollow eyes. And his blood ran cold as he realized that no human, or even animal, eyeballs lay behind the mask.

Only perceptible in the quiet dawn, Craid heard the insect ticking of clockwork gears spinning and biting into one another come from the figures body. It grasped Craid’s knife hand at the wrist with a vice-like grip and pulled it and the dagger away from its body. With the other arm it levelled its own blade at Craid’s face. Unable to break free, Craid fell back with his whole weight. As he reached the friction point the strange machine man stumbled forward with him and let go of his arm in order to steady itself. Craid reached forward and pulled the hood over its face and, leaping into the air like a cat, planted two feet directly into its wide chest. The thing stumbled back, crazed and tearing at its cloak. The sound of the thick fibres being wrenched apart was quite audible over Craid’s own heavy breathing as he picked himself from the flagstones and tried to plan a method of attack. Or, potentially, escape.

The figure got a hold of the tattered remains of the cloak and threw them to the ground. Craid, for all the danger that he had foolishly invited, could only stand and stare, drinking in the strangest vision that even he had ever seen.

It was a man of wood and bronze. The arms, legs and torso were panels of polished oak, he could could even see the nick his knife had made in the wood above where a man’s kidneys would be. At each and every point of articulation, from the knee to the knuckles, there was a gap in the wood filled with joints and gears of shimmering bronze and silver that whirred and turned in intricate patterns. It was like an artist’s anatomy doll grown to the size, and beyond, of a man. And it moved with a sinister simulacrum of human articulation. Not quite as flexible, but with a ferocious strength and purpose that bettered the flesh on which it was modelled. Its face, that serene skull-like mask, glowed in the burgeoning sunlight like an impassive Angel of Death.

It moved, again, towards Craid in an affected fighter’s pose and with a complete absence of fear. As it struck out at him, Craid dodged its blow and, realizing that the his blade was useless, hammered the set of gears at its elbow with the hilt of his knife. He heard the metal bend ,but it became apparent that the damage that was being dealt was minimal when it used the very same arm to fling Craid to the ground.

Craid was quick and, when he fought, it was with the reactions and instincts of an animal on the plains, but he was barely to his feet when felt the cold blade slide in to his flesh to the hilst, penetrating his lower back. Craid knew where a man felt pain and where in the body the Gods had desperately buried the vital workings that sustain something so fragile as a human being. Perhaps this strange imitation of mankind did not know by instinct what a killer like Craid knew and utilized, for it made a mistake that saved its victims life. The blade had slipped between, by inches, the kidney and spleen.

Inundated, now, with adrenaline, Craid managed to roll onto his back and, as he did so, he slipped a hand inside his shirt. As the relentless automaton came in to deliver the fatal blow Craid flung into its face a handful of powder, praying that its action would be effective against this new and singular foe. As the powder was exposed to the searing light of a Sol Midan morning it exploded into flashes of silver and gold.

The thing staggered back and away, clawing at smoke and the thousan minute explosions the powder had let off. Craid clawed himself to his feet and, pushing through a pain that threatened to flaw him, he half-loped and half-ran to the edge of the quays and, choking out an agonized cry, hurled himself into the brilliant, blue water.

V

Ola opened the door and there Craid stood in the gloom of the porch. But it was as if a shadow had arrived twenty four hours behind its master, because the form in the doorway was only a dark imitation of the man who had preceded it. Shivering in spite of the heat and slouching against a pillar, the eyes that stared back at her were like dim and guttering lamps. He barely made it across the threshold, muttering some indistinguishable curse, before he crashed to the floor. Ola managed to get Craid into the low sofa seat in the drawing room and, when she turned to fetch water and bandages, she felt his hand grab her own, weakly. She had to lean in to him to hear what he said. His breath smelled of blood and seawater.

“In his room… the treasure hoard… an earthen pot with a man biting a snake drawn on…” he whispered.

Her eyes searched his.

“Craid, where in the room?”

He drew a ragged breath.

“Go!…” he spluttered.

What she found in the dusty and ancient pot was a wax like substance the colour of dead flesh and with a smell that matched. By the time she had got back to Craid’s side he had slipped into unconsciousness. Assuming his instruction, she took a handful of the salve and rubbed the deep, puckered wounds on his back before binding it in clean cloth.

*

When he awoke in the dead of the night, several days later, Ola was by his side. Craid tried to speak and found his mouth so dry that his gums stuck to the sides of his cheeks. He motioned to Ola to bring him water and his pouch of snuff. When she returned with them he was trying to drag himself to an upright position. She put down the water and the pouch and helped him to settle into the corner of the sofa. She down next to him and handed him a cup of water. He turned away from her and drank.

“You can take off the veil if you’d prefer?” she said, quietly, “I had to remove it whilst you were recovering. You breathing was so weak…”

Craid took two pinches of snuff into each nostril and lay his head back, closing his eyes.

“Then you’re probably used to this way that I look, But I’m not” he said in a whisper, “the last time I saw it was in the reflection of a dying man’s eyes and I intend to leave it there.”

“What was that salve in the pot?” Ola asked.

“I have no idea. But I’m glad I stole it for him all those years ago” Craid replied, dreamily.

They sat for a long time in silence. Ola assumed that Craid was sleeping but when, in time, she asked a further question out loud without having meant to, he replied immediately.

“Do you think he is still alive?” she had asked, meaning Conigliari.

“I’ve always known that he is” Craid replied, “that is why he’s disappeared and not turned up as some many-punctured corpse lying in a busy street. The rest were a message. His disappearance is something different.”

“Do you know who’s the person doing it?” she asked, nervously.

“I’ve met them quite intimately” Craid replied, and shifted painfully in his seat, “but it’s who’s picking the targets that I’m interested in. I have some idea about that, too.”

It took a further two days for Craid to be able to stand unaided. He took plenty of the soups and teas that Ola prepared and the same again of the pinches of narcotic snuff and daubs of the arcane, healing unguent.

*

One night, as he sat and pored over Conigliari’s papers, Craid heard a scuffing in the upper part of the house. He took his and knife and doused it in a particularly fast acting nerve poison which he had found amongst the various alchemical agents within the house. He passed the sleeping Ola, collapsed on a sofa seat, as he made his way to the staircase, a horrible deja vu creeping over him as he did so. He took the stairs one at a time, wishing that he had taken a pinch of the snuff.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Craid sidled up to the doorway from whence the sound came. He took a sidelong glance into the room and saw a dark figure halfway across the sill. The bunched shadows behind and the low, sinister muttering told of a further two would be intruders waiting in line. Craid slipped the tainted dagger back into its sheath and drew another, clean, blade. He drew a deep breath. The goal was to deal sufficient damage to force a retreat but not so much as to bring on a siege mentality in the jumpy figures behind and force a confrontation that, in this state, he was not sure that he could succeed in. Craid let out the breath in a long, quiet sigh and whipped around into the doorframe.

The knife sang as it flew through the dark and, as it found its mark, it sunk into flesh with the sound of tearing cloth. The victim howled and, to Craid’s disquiet, fell into the room rather than out of it. One of the shadows behind was now beginning to climb in through the window. As the one who had been felled by the knife stood once more, Craid picked up and hurled a chair that had sat just inside the doorway. It clattered into the recovering burglar who stumbled into the window, knocking out the one who had been coming in. Craid’s back burned where the exertion had split his healing wound. He took a few loud steps into the room, unsheathing the poisoned blade with exaggerated force. It made an unmistakable whipping sound, even amongst the groaning and confused shouts at the window. Summoning all the pain and bitter fury that had been welling up within him, Craid spat two words into the dark;

“Get. Out!”

And, chancing his fate on the way that the bones would fall, he flung his knife into the huddled mass where it embedded itself in his target – the frame of the window.  If the would be thieves had looked back as they fled they would not have seen the imposing resistance that they imagined but, instead, the figure of Craid on his hands and knees, retching in pain.

Ola found him this way as she cautiously peered around the doorframe. She bore him down the stairs and to the sofa, where he struggled weakly against her ministrations, muttering that time was growing short. She applied another handful of the salve to his ragged wound and managed to calm him until he fell into an uneasy sleep. As he dreamt, she did what she could to restore the security of the upstairs window.

*

When Craid awoke with a start the following afternoon she was sitting with her head in her hands.

“I need to go tonight” was the first thing that Craid said.

She looked up.

“You are still not well” she replied.

Craid ran a hand across his face.

“No. But word has got out. Either we get him back, the conjurer that they fear, or we both leave.”

“If you go then I stay here” she said quietly.

“No, that isn’t going to happen” he said firmly, “you need to go somewhere you’ll be safe.”

Without further comment she drew from beside the chair the dagger that Craid had doused in poison. It had been further marred with blood which had dried along its edges.

“They came again” she said, “or others. I am safe here, at least for a little while. What you have on this knife, it is like the violet flower from my village. But far worse. When the master comes back there will be something to take care of”, and her eyes rose to the ceiling.

“Well, I doubt that will cause too much of a problem” Craid replied, “but we need to get him back first.”

“You can’t go out at night” Ola said with icy calm, “the body down in the docks that you saw was one of the Moretti brothers. Bruno has his whole militia patrolling the city by dark.”

Craid sat in silence for a long time.

“Dawn, then. I need to gather some things.”

Ola turned the dagger over by the handle as Craid watched. Its blade still had the dull, fatal look of a poisoned weapon. He held out his hand. Ola stuck it forcefully into the wooden floor where it stood upright. He pulled it free and went slowly up the stairs without saying another word.

VI

Craid stood by the front door, next to the satchel that he had carefully packed through a night where he had stopped only to rest and doze for a couple of hours. Ola came from the kitchen with a length of gauze and the earthen pot. Craid peered through the window shutters. The blue-dark that was a Sol Midan dawn was just beginning to break through the night. He watched the backs of two of Moretti’s men disappear down an alley.

He turned back to Ola who was waiting, staring down at the floor. He delicately removed his shirt as she soaked the bandages in what remained of the salve. He stared up at the ceiling, his arms held wide, and listened to her quiet work. She barely flinched when she looked up to begin her task and saw the reams of bizarre, arcane text that was burned, tattooed and scarred all across his naked torso. In the silence of the pregnant dawn she bound his body in the soft cloth and then turned away.

As she flicked the water from her hands she turned back round and watched him draw the hood of his long jacket up and over his head. She had heard him take several huge pinches of a new, acrid smelling snuff mixture and his eyes burned out from the slit between his hood and the cloth wrapped about his face. They had not said a word to one another the whole night. She wondered if he would speak before picking up his bag and leaving and was almost surprised to hear herself speaking first.

“What will you do? If it beats you again, I mean. You are sick and it will not let you slip away another time.”

Craid slung the bag across his shoulders.

“My body is weaker, perhaps, but I’ve learned from our last meeting. It is only a machine of some kind. Machines don’t learn” he said.

Ola half raised a hand towards him and it hung in the air.

“But it moves and kills as if it were a man” she said.

“Well, men don’t learn either” Craid replied and, with that, he slipped out into the blue dawn.

*

The streets were deserted but for the occasional pairing of the surviving Moretti brother’s men, whose drunken footsteps Craid had no problem identifying in the still air and then evading.

As he slunk up the hill he came to D’Agostini’s watchmakers. The windows were dark mirrors and Craid had to step into an embrace with his shadowy reflection to see inside. The mechanisms, half stripped, and the tiny cogs and gears on the benches, like the aftermath of a surgery, all lay beneath a fine coating of dust. The shadows in the workshop were deep and impregnable. Craid smiled to himself. It was just as he had pieced it together in his head; tiny cogs falling into place.

Craid continued up the hill by the backstreets and, with some effort, climbed onto a roof that afforded him a view of the palace. It had not changed as the merchant’s houses had. It had always eclipsed the other buildings of Sol Midan and still did. A couple of sentries were posted at the gates, in the pillars of which flaming torches gutted down to nothing.

Craid dropped down from the roof and began to search amongst the detritus that littered the little back alley. He only hoped that, in the intervening years, no-one had worked out how he had found his way into the palace, all that time ago, to liberate the Prince’s most treasured sabre. Beneath an overturned and abandoned handcart he found it; a flimsy cover hiding the way down into the sewers.

Craid moved through the dry, crumbling passages, following a set of mental directions at each junction that he had dredged, turn by turn, from his memory as he had been recovering. Ancient plaster dust rained down as he made his way, slowly and bent double, towards an opening in the palace cellar that he prayed would still be accessible.

At last the passage opened out and he found the dry and decaying wooden ladder that rose into the darkness above. He tested it with a little of his weight and, though its rungs bowed a little, it appeared stable enough. The weight that he had lost during his convalescence was perhaps a stroke of luck.

He climbed the ladder and reached the covered opening in the ceiling and dropped his torch to burn out in the dirt below. With his heart in his mouth, Craid reached out and pressed against the slim, stone disc that, he hoped, would raise up from the floor of the palace’s cellar. But it did not move. Craid pushed harder and the decrepit ladder creaked beneath him. He considered the flash powder he had in his bag. The noise that it would create would call every guard in the palace down into the cellar and he had to consider the possibility that opening had been covered over on the other side.

He took out his blade and ran it around the rim of the opening, hoping to loosen decades worth of seizing. He pushed it again and it seemed to move a little more. But the ladder gave a rattling groan in response that made his heart skip in his chest. He looked to the gutting torch thirty feet below. In his current condition he did not like his chances.

Girding himself, Craid wrapped his legs around the frame of the ladder, fancying it more than the rungs. The exertion it took to hold himself aloft like that made his abdomen, with its unhealed wound, burn and clench. Using both hands now, he pushed upwards against the stone and, with a crack, the lid launched upwards. As his aching back creaked, so did the ladder. It spat dust and debris which he heard crackle faintly in the torch flame below. And then it collapsed entirely.

Craid’s body was wrenched downwards and he stifled a pitiful scream as his torso was jerked by gravity. His fingers dug into the stone floor of the cellar above him as his legs dangled and kicked in mid air. He took several deep breaths as soon as he began to feel his sweat soaked fingertips begin to fail him. Roaring out a noise which was cut to abrupt silence as he mustered all the strength he had left, Craid hauled himself up and out of the hole and collapsed onto his back on the cold, stone floor. He lay there like a newborn baby, unbreathing and unable to move. And then, actuated by the capricious ghosts of life, he drew a huge breath of air, rolled over and screamed into the dirt.

*

Craid pushed on the door of the cellar and listened at the crack. His head swam with the bitter memory of intense pain and yet was sharp with the effects of the snuff he had taken between ragged breaths. A shaking sense of unreality came over him. The footsteps that came closer and closer seemed to echo with a strange resonance. Craid shook his head clear. As the footsteps began to retreat he slipped through the door, closing it softly behind him. He followed the echoing footsteps to a bend in the corridor and peered round.

Craid watched as the palace guard, owner of the footsteps, ducked into a doorway and listened to the murmured conversation that began to issue from within. There was no reason for a guard to be patrolling these lower depths of the palace where only storerooms and servants quarters resided.

Craid crept closer to the doorway and listened. The conversation was carried out in hushed tones.

“How do you know it will be him?” whispered one of the voices.

“The same way I knew it would be Moretti. Now, do you want the name or not?” the other replied.

The city had not changed, Craid thought, even after so much time and amongst such new madness. In the dark recesses of the palace men’s lives were still bet upon and their advantages taken advantage of as if they were nothing more than fighting cocks.

There was he sound of clinking coins.

“No, no, no; we agreed, another half again for this one” said the voice that Craid had deduced was the guard’s. The other voice mumbled a non-committal response, blaming their weak memory.

“Then you’ll need to gather your advantage elsewhere, Beppe” the soldier sneered.

There was disgruntled mumbling in Beppe’s tone and then a further clinking and rattling of coins.

Craid had intended to wait for the gambler or rival merchant, whoever he was, to leave before he introduced himself to the guard, but it was his experience that even two men barely possessed the awareness of half-a-man when gold was glittering in their eyes. And he seized the opportunity.

Beppe, in the midst of trying to tip fate in his favour, was dying with a blade driven under his chin almost before he could react. Craid leered at the guard over the man’s shoulder. The guard held out a hand in an instinctive defence and in a split second found the blood soaked blade thrust into it and his body being pushed back to the wall with another knife at his throat.

“Who…who…” the guard stammered. And the veiled figure replied in an unearthly voice that came from everywhere at once and sent a shiver down the guard’s spine;

“No-one, really. Just passing through an old haunt. Tell me where I find Conigliari and I keep moving.”

“The tower!” the guard snapped back.

“And D’Agostini?” Craid continued.

“How did you kn…” the guard began but his voice was arrested by a twist of the knife that was embedded in his hand and the beginning of his cries were answered with an increase of pressure to the blade at his throat.

“The tower” the guard choked out, “he is in the tower trying to get answers from the old man!”

Craid looked the guard up and down.

“What’s your name?” Craid asked.

“Sar…Sar…Sar…” the guard stammered out. Craid grinned;

“Well, you look like a bleeder SarSarSar. Lucky you.”

And with that he clubbed the man behind his ear with the hilt of his knife and lowered the slumped body to the ground. Checking the unconscious man’s uniform he was pleased to find it spotless.

VII

Craid affixed the face cage to the palatial guard’s helmet which he now wore and stepped out of the cellar door and into the hallway. SarSarSar lay at the bottom of the sewer tunnel from which Craid had climbed. The torch had gone out but he assumed the man was still breathing down there. He had flung his own clothing down first to act as some kind of cushion and had tried to drop the body in such a way that any bones broken would not be the neck.

Craid marched with the exaggerated dignity and scorn that the palace guards adopted in order to properly represent their liege. He passed servants, subordinates and other guards without incident. It was strange; in what would ordinarily have been the strict regime of morning there was a hint of chaos in the palace. At first Craid worried that it betokened some knowledge of an interloper in their midst but there was a weary, resigned undertone that told him that this was part of some ongoing breakdown. And it played to his advantage. With the palace faintly manic and, thus distracted, Craid found his way from the gold and glittering halls and passageways to the grimmer, flagged avenues that led to the tower without suspicion.

As he unbarred and pushed on the great oak door that allowed entrance, Craid caught the first faint scream as it tumbled down the winding stair. Craid leaned the spear he had been carrying against the brickwork and pushed the door closed. If he were to meet the singular, clockwork assassin again he would have no more success with the spear then he had achieved with the knife. He knew exactly in which direction success lay and it was within the very reason that had caused his return to Sol Midan. He smiled to himself. Small cogs falling into place.

The screams grew in volume and intensity as Craid climbed the stair. He turned the knife over and over in his hand. His quiet rage grew as pain stabbed him with each step. Craid was no stranger to pain. He fed on what it offered and spat the cold remains into the stone at his feet.

Only one door led into the keep at the tower’s pinnacle. Craid, as he had done so often before, took what most men experienced as fear and made of it an amusing little pet. A pretty bird that sang on his shoulder a chorus of the absurdity of death and the ludicrous fragility of life. He slid a thin blade between the door and its frame and, thus, flicked up and away the bar on the inside.

“Little Mario D’Agostini” Craid announced as he stepped through the door, “how you’ve grown!”

D’Agostini stood at the far end of the room, bloody water dripping from his fingers and the towel he had dropped on Craid’s entry settling at his feet.

“Craid!” he cried in shock and fury.

“I’m glad you still remember the little people” Craid smirked.

D’Agonstini’s eyes flicked about the room, back and forth between Craid and Conigliari who sat, tied and bloodied, in a chair between them.

Craid strode into the room, the dagger twitching in his hand. As he passed the semi conscious Congliari he placed a gentle hand on the old man’s shoulder. Craid stepped nearer D’Agostini who backed away, his hands held in front of him. Craid picked up a cup of wine that sat on a small table against the wall. He pulled loose the helmet face cage and tossed it to the ground. D’Agostini gasped. The lower half of the thief’s face was a mutilated mass of bare muscle and tendons, the skin wasted or torn from its bed. Craid poured the wine down his throat. Thin rivers of crimson ran between his permanently bared teeth. He smiled at D’Agostini and it was the nightmarish leer of a naked skull.

“Craid, the old man is just a tool. He’s hurt but he’ll live. I only need his knowledge. You can persuade him and then you can both walk free.”

D’Agostini had been petrified. If no man alive had seen Craid’s true face it was assumed that this was because he had let no such man live. But as his slippery tongue worked he was talking himself back into a state of confidence.

“Once I have what he hides” D’Agostini continued, “I’ll rule this city. I’ll have the power to write off a lot of debts and wash away a lot of bad blood” he implored Craid, suggestively.

“And the Prince?” Craid enquired.

“That inbred fool? What of him? He hides in the capital whilst I take control so that he can return on more favourable terms with myself than against a cabal of merchants. He loans me his palace and his guards to complete my work? Pah! Once I have the secret to animating legions of automata I’ll tear his palace and his guards to shreds! Father took the secret to his grave. But he is the one who showed it to father” and he pointed to the slumped form of Conigliari.

“And you can build an army of those things?” Criad asked, placing down the empty cup.

D’Agostini smiled, “Whole battalions. Sol Midan is only the beginning.”

Craid leant back on the wall and let out a sigh as he considered the information. In truth, his back was on fire with pain.

“You’re father was a great man, D’Agostini. I mean that”.

D’Agostini took a solicitous step closer to Craid, “Indeed. But he had spent a lifetime peering into the tiny workings of watches and it limited the scope of his vision. He built the greatest work of mechanism the world has ever seen and imbued it with life and, do you know what he planned for it? To protect his workshop and safeguard his deliveries!” D’Agostini laughed from the depth of his father’s shadow. “But when he died I was the one to see its true potential. And, it’s strange that you should be here to see the culmination, because it was you that helped me see. That relentless purpose and lack of fear you have and which Sol Midan cowers from. I sent it out into the world as Conilgiari had directed you, intractable and ruthlessly efficient. To the cold tombs and hot jungles from which you brought him fabled treasure. To the emperors and warlords on whom you enacted countless bounties. And the money that it brought me, the influence and power to enact my will, have led us here.”

“I’m glad I was such an inspiration” Craid replied, stepping away from the wall.

D’Agostini stepped forward again, a triumphant, slimy grin on his face.

“You’re right about one thing, Mario” Craid said, “your father was a man of small vision. But he was enough of a man to know how little that mattered. No wonder he was always so desperately disappointed in you.”

D’Agostini stopped short. He sneered back at Craid;

“I should have known that a petty thief, especially one stupid enough to come and take a second beating, wouldn’t have the wisdom to join me. Well, time to give you a death ugly enough to match the one you wear on your face.”

D’Agostini gave a high pitched, undulating whistle and, from the darkest corner of the keep, came a reply. The steady and intensifying ticking and clanking of gears falling into place. The creak of wood and whine of copper joints loosening. The fall of heavy footsteps on the flagstones.

Craid watched the clockwork terror step out of the shadows. Even in his drugged and nihilistic state, the sight sent a twinge of discomfort through his heart. It showed no fear, no hesitance. Their last encounter had nearly proved fatal for Craid but this implacable machine strode as surely and purposefully towards him as it had done when he first saw it walking towards him from out of the glow of a sun rising beyond the docks.

As the first blow was launched towards Craid he was staring straight into the pits of the thing’s eyes. He had learnt to avoid his natural inclination to watch for the telltale jerk of muscle that forecasted an attack. It was a tell that the material of its body did not possess. Now, he relied on his years of experience in combat to tell him what assault made the most logical sense, this was the one that his strange opponent would employ. The blow that the assassin had launched came down in thin air. As the next attempt flew out in a wide arc, Craid ducked it and reached inside the guard’s tunic that he wore. He had been forced to abandon his satchel and the equipment inside in order to maintain his disguise. But he still had one piece of singular ordinance. He pulled the cracked, fist-sized black stone from his clothing and prepared to strike. But, then, something for which he had not planned happened.The lead footed thing swung a fierce kick towards his face. Craid’s hands flew up to protect himself but the blow simultaneously knocked the stone from his grasp and sent him skidding across the floor.

“You see, Criad” D’Agostini called from across the room, “if one of these can dominate even you, then imagine how many ordinary men it could best? Imagine how many a thousand of these clockwork soldiers could overthrow?”

Craid came back into coherence with hot blood running from the wound in his back and the thing almost atop him. He was not sure if the warm smell of copper in the air came from his blood melting into the stone or the frenzied gears and joints within his adversary. A knife came down at him and Craid flung himself free, tiny splatters of crimson soaking the floor from which blue sparks flew as the metal struck the stone.

Craid sprung to his feet and the assassin continued its advance. He scanned the floor in search of the stone he had dropped. Its blackness hid it perfectly in the shadows. As he backed away from the oncoming foe he had an idea. Almost backed to the corner, now, he bent to the floor, never taking his eyes from his opponent, and scooped a handful of dust and debris from between the cracks in the flagstones. He heard D’Agostini laugh;

“How do you intend to blind that which has sight beyond mere flesh, Craid?”

Craid flung the dust and dirt high into the air and, as it rained down, just as he had hoped, some of the debris hit the stone that was enshrined in darkness. As it did, the veins and cracks that riddled the stone’s surface glowed a fierce red, just for a second.

Now aware of its location, Craid turned his attention to the assassin. He had no more tricks to play and he could feel blood running freely down his leg. The assassin thrust its knife forward and Craid stepped to one side, lowered his shoulder and launched himself into the solid torso of the thing. The assassin stumbled, just a little. But it was enough. Craid rushed towards the stone, his breath held in anticipation of the iron grip that might fall on him as he passed; his arm clung to his side. As he had struck the thing bright flowers of pain had bloomed before his eyes. It was as if he had tackled an oak tree.

As he stumbled across the room, Criad was aware of great peals of laughter coming from D’Agostini, directed at his desperate flight. Craid reached the stone and bent down to scoop it up. Just as he did so, he felt something that approximated the power of a hammer falling upon an anvil strike him upon his wounded back. He fell forward, the world reduced to only two things; an exquisite white light of agony and the awareness of his hand wrapped like a vice around the stone. He came back to reality on his back and unable to breath, with two metal hands clasped around his throat.

“You know” called D’Agostini, “I think I will make a gift of your fabled knife. The next of these soldiers that I build, the next of many; I’ll close its hand around the hilt before I animate it. So that it might be born with blood already on its hands.”

The voice came to Craid from far away. His body was in shock, drifting, the life ebbing from it, and the stone lay in a hand over which he no longer felt he had direct control. But another voice came and, in his delirium, Craid did not know whether Conigliari, the old sorcerer and merchant in the arcane, had awoken or if the voice sailed directly into his mind on seas of bizarre conjuration.

“Old friend” it began, “do you know what you hold in your palm? Perhaps some of it, but barely half of it. It belonged, once, to a great Emperor of Wushii. The fable says that it is the petrified eye of the last dragon who roosted in a nest stop Mt. Wujin, and who roamed the misty skies bringing rain and fire. I suppose you imagine that I tasked you to bring it to me for the purpose of slaying this foe? But I did not. The world is a stranger place than either you or I know. Fate twists and turns like the coils of a dragon soaring in a leaden sky. It wheels like tiny gears falling into place…”

Reality crashed back in. Craid heard the guttural laughter of D’Agostini and the laboured breathing of Conigliari. He saw the hollow eyes of the clockwork assassin, its face appearing to glow with a golden aura all rimmed with red. The face filled his dimming vision, seemed to float like light at the end of a great tunnel. But he felt nothing, at first, as if he was suspended in a nighttime sea. But then, almost as if it were only some manifestation of clockwork, he felt his hand twitch and jerk with the involuntary animation of an automaton.

Craid smashed the stone against the forearm of the assassin and the room exploded into light. The assassin lurched backwards, releasing Craid who lay choking and gasping on the stone. Its wooden arm was ablaze with a fire that held a ghostly, green tint within it and stank of sulphur.

D’Agostini cried out in alarm as the clockwork soldier reeled around the room, vainly swatting at its engulfed arm. Craid dragged himself to all fours, drooling and spitting at the ground. In his hand the stone was smouldering and expelling large quantities of black smoke. The cracks and fissures glowed a fierce, lava-like orange. But it was not hot, not even warm, and Craid clutched it tight as he got to his feet.

The assassin was frantically clawing at the flames that roared where Craid had struck it. It looked up as Craid emerged through the billowing smoke and, though its face was only a mask, Craid, bleeding and numb, revelled in the fancy that he saw fear in its eyes. He thrust the stone into the broad wooden chest of the assassin. A burst of brilliant flame exploded into violent life where his blow had landed and he leapt back as an inferno of green-hued fire roared amongst the wood. The assassin tore at the flames and Craid smelled the acrid fumes of the copper beginning to melt. He struck again as the thing turned it back and another gout of flame went up.

“No!”

It was D’Agostini’s cry that turned Craid’s fire lit, shining eyes from the destruction. He advanced on D’Agostini, who backed away in terror and repeated;

“No!”

Craid snatched the watchmaker’s son-turned-would-be-ruler’s hair and twisted an arm behind his back.

“Look, boy” Craid snarled next to his ear, “look how easily power can burn.”

The clockwork automaton was almost invisible now in a ball of flame and rolling clouds of smoke. It moved desperately this way and that, but its movements became jerky as the pistons and rods that were its skeleton became liquid in the heat. When Craid released D’Agostini and he fell to his knees on the stone, all that remained was charcoal, ash and the copper mask that had been its face, melted and contorted into an agonized grimace by the inferno.

Craid went over to the smouldering remains and plucked the scalding mask from the ashes with a cloth wrapped hand. He advanced on D’Agostini, who scuttled backwards like a crab when he recognized Craid’s aim. But Craid drew nearer; the red hot mask held before him, concave side forward, watching D’Agostini pray, plead and scream, through the glowing holes of the former clockwork assassin’s eyes.

VIII

Conigliari lived. Whilst the healing salve was expanded there was no need for a doctor. The herbs and potions he directed Craid and Ola to prepare were of almost equal effect. The attacks on the house were ended, swiftly and lethally, with a common thief slitting his own throat in the middle of the merchant’s quarter, howling about demons that followed him through dreams and into daylight.  Conigliari did more with a scrying mirror then Craid could do with a blade to restore order. The stone, The Dragon’s Gaze, went into its vault alongside the other terrible wonders. And, in time, it was the hour for Craid to leave.

“Here’s the payment for your initial charge” Conigliari said to him as he dropped the purse into Craid’s hand, “I’m not sure what payment I can offer for the other services you’ve rendered?”

“None are needed, old man” Craid replied, “I wouldn’t be taking this one if I’d done nothing, would I?”

Conigliari smirked, “You’ve indirectly done a favour to a great many of the merchants. I’m sure that word will spread of its own accord but I might ease its way to the right ears? It might striked off a lot of bad debts. You might even stay?”

Criad slipped the purse into his bag;

“I don’t stay away from fear, you know that. It’s a big world out there, I have to see a little more before the best parts end up in your vault” he said.

“When you get bored of running from boredom, there’ll always be a place here for you, Craid” Conigliari replied. “There is warmth to be found if you step out of the four winds and wait a little by the fire.”

Conigliari looked to Ola who stood in the drawing room doorway.

“Ola?” he called, “see our friend out, I must get back to my work.”

And with that he placed a hand on Craid’s shoulder and began to climb the stair.

Ola stepped forward;

“Your ship is waiting” she said.

“I know. But first…” and he pulled something from inside his cloak and placed it in her hand. It was a black stone all riven with cracks.

“But, isn’t this…” she started.

“Dragon’s have two eyes” Craid stopped her, his eyes gleaming, “and I owe you something for my life.”

“No, Craid” and she tried to press it back into his palm. He took her wrist, gently.

“Conigliari will not live forever. One day all this will be yours to take. He wouldn’t have brought you in if he didn’t believe it. The docks are swarming with servant girls from which to choose. Just remember what I have learned; never trust him but learn everything you can from him. It is the only deal one can do with the Devil and win.”

She took back her hand and slipped the stone inside her dress.

“He is a broken man. And so are you. Why would I want what it is that you have?”

Craid opened the door and turned back;

“He has knowledge and will die knowing that which other men waste their lives hiding from. It’s all you can ask for. What else, Ola? A child on each hip? A husband to serve?”

Her dark eyes gleamed. Inside was resentment, anticipation, defiance and fierce ambition.

“Come and see me one day, if you find anything that I might like” she smiled, “we can discuss the price over tea.”

And with that he closed the door and made his way to the docks.

*

The ship was at sail and Sol Midan was being swallowed in a thick mist as Craid stepped away from the gunwale and took a seat upon a barrell with his new travelling companions. Before him was a small gaming table and upon the table were knucklebones and coins, waiting for the game to commence.

“You get seasick, friend?” said the larger of the two, his black expansive forehead glistening with sweat.

“No, no, just taking in the sights” Craid replied.

The smaller of the two was a withered old buccaneer, but no wiser for his age;

“You never been to Sol Midan?” he croaked.

“Of course. But I didn’t get to see it from the way out, last time” said Craid.

The two looked at each other quizzically but their vulture gazes returned to Craid at once.  Much like Behrat and Gohrn, they were sizing up their latest “friend”. Criad didn’t have the energy to alert them to their mistake. Already he saw from the corner of his eye some of the other crew and passengers whispering behind hands and chuckling at the hapless fools who were trying to groom him for a victim. Whatever; Craid could pass the journey playing knucklebones or cards as he played with these foolhardy cutpurses. He would announce himself in time – if no kind hearted soul from the crew warned them first.

“Strange things happening in Sol Midan, no?” said the large, dark sailor.

“Oh really?” Craid replied, toying with the bones on the table.

“You didn’t hear?” smirked the sailor, “some thing with a face of gold killing men in the dead of night.”

“Oh, that?” Craid replied with disinterest, “I may have heard something. But I thought it had been killed?”

“Pah!” snorted the old man, “who could kill such a thing!? I saw it, only last night, down an alley by the docks. Its golden face was glowing in the moonlight. Its eyes were wild, staring out from its mask, and it was howling as if the tongue were burned out of its mouth!”

“Goodness” Craid exclaimed with mock surprise.

“That’s right” smiled the old man, and he and his broad companion traded conspiratorial grins with one another before their quarries naivety, “it had only found a new victim, I’d say, for it clung to and adored an exquisite pocket watch.”

And now Craid smiled to himself;

“Well, better we’re free of such terrors, gentlemen” he said, “shall we play?”

And he picked up the knucklebones and rattled them in his palm, watching the hungry looks of his companions from under his brow. The bones clacked on the board as he threw them down.

“What luck! It isn’t your day, boys…” he chirped with a knowing good humour. He pulled the small pot of coins towards him. All the small bones had fallen right into place.

THE END

If you’ve enjoyed this work be sure to check out my other Craid story “Siege Machine”

 

 

 

Old Harker’s Resurrection Pool

onehundredandeightyfour

Listen, all ye, who would learn.
By the fate to which I fell.
Sometimes that for which we yearn.
Is only one more type of Hell.

Drinking and carding late one night.
I set off long for home.
I knew she would be sleeping tight.
In our marriage bed, alone.

At the altar I had claimed.
To be something I was not.
Cupid’s arrow had been squarely aimed.
But in time we had forgot.

A little her, but mostly me.
We had let the time go by.
Drifting from one another.
Like the shoreline from the tide.

But still I loved her, for all my shame.
Her beauty and her poise.
To the gambler, life’s a game.
And I had made my choice.

The pavement rocked beneath my feet.
Singing, drunk, of Scarborough Fair.
Stumbling, stupid in the street.
I caught the smell of cinders in the air.

Coming down the blackened drive.
I saw the sky burning like a coal.
The garden, now, was quite alive.
With fire burning beyond control.

Our house had become a bonfire, lit.
And the townspeople gathered round.
I staggered through as the vultures split.
To see them lay her body on the ground.

In a graveyard lined with trees
Aside a Reverend lined with care.
I watched as if from outside the scene.
Like a wraith floating in the air.

Lying in a soaking shroud.
That swallowed an early dew.
I beat the earth and cried aloud.
To a God I never knew.

They laid her down into an earth.
That was dry as my sunken eyes.
Overhead my grief gave birth.
As rain pelted from the skies.

But I obtained no further release.
And the pain was all my own.
The firmament offered no more peace.
As I walked the streets alone.

Lurching amidst tears of fury.
I found no solace from the sky.
Staggering from bar to brewery.
I drank a hundred barrels dry.

Listing in such a wasted tavern.
I met the man who would be my fate.
Lurking as if a ghoul in a cavern.
Or a snake that lies in wait.

From his dank and shadowed nook.
He watched me from a single eye.
Drumming his fingers on a book.
As black as any midnight sky.

The binding was some awful thing.
The pages yellow; torn and ripped.
It almost looked like human skin.
The binding as dark as any crypt.

He beckoned me with a shrivelled hand.
That I should sit and search the tome.
And from its script, to understand.
How I might regain my hallowed home.

The book, it seemed as old as time.
Somehow the crooked ink still bled.
It sent a shiver down my spine.
To see it had a tint of red.

He showed me passages of ancient lore.
Dread instruction from forgotten schools.
And finally his finger underscored.
The tale of Old Harker’s unholy pool.

Harker, in some uncounted year.
Had come across, it was said.
Back in a cave, in the depths of the wood.
A body of water that could raise the dead.

Though drunk and desperate as I tell.
I had no time for the old man’s trick.
Magic woods and wishing wells.
Could not make healthy what was sick.

Laughing off his foolish verse.
I pushed back my chair and went to stand.
But was arrested by a hissing curse.
As he took my wrist with an iron hand.

“Look, my boy”, he whispered, grim.
“If you want again to see her face
You’ll need to cut your ties with him
And anoint yourself at that devil’s place”.

I tore away my shaking hand.
And turned away with curt disgust.
But his words had left their brand.
And I began to place in them my trust.

I turned back round to meet this bait.
And the bile within me reared.
But there was no more object for my hate.
The sinister man had disappeared…

The shadows only left behind.
Except of course, I need barely look.
As the daemons had designed.
Upon the table remained the book.

I staggered back to my lonely room.
And in my hand I held that tract.
My mind was spinning like a loom.
But there could be no turning back.

I waited for the night to come.
Knowing only drink’s relief.
When your nightmares are your rest.
You will learn to spit at sleep.

Through the rooming house came the sound.
As the town clock struck its bell.
And the twelve chimes echoed round.
As I slipped out of my cell.

I wandered through the sullen streets.
Clutching to me the blackened guide.
Down by where the canal meets.
The dark tongue of the tide.

I wandered outside the town’s low walls.
And then up into the trees.
Where no man walks and no bird calls.
No sound beyond the shivering of the leaves.

I climbed amongst the abandoned shacks.
The woodland church and its tilted graves.
And found behind the overgrown tracks.
The lonely entrance to a cave.

I walked through rifts of dripping stone.
And corridors as cold as sin.
And though the way was never shown.
Something called me from within.

I pushed my body through a crack.
And though the gap was slight.
I slipped out of the cavernous black.
And stumbled on the light.

The walls were hung with ghostly fire.
That clung to the jagged slate.
The lambent glow began to inspire.
Within me, a sinister weight.

The floor was littered with tiny bones.
Creatures lost inside the gloom.
Perhaps they, too, were led from home.
By the curse that called within that room.

I walked towards the stagnant well.
All rimmed with stones and leaves.
I stared into its blackened swell.
Desperate to believe.

Old Harker had been a singular case.
Living up in these haunted hills.
Could he have truly found a place.
Where the cup of life could be refilled?

Up from the abyssal depths.
Came a pale and ethereal form.
I held to faith as I held my breath.
That my prayers were being sworn.

Just beneath the rippling tide.
I saw the face for which I’d yearned.
Her eyes were closed; her arms spread wide.
The one I grieved for had returned!

I reached into the icy murk.
That which we hold we understand.
But some things that in black pools, lurk.
Will reach out and take your hand.

As I touched that translucent skin.
I saw her beauty seize and contort.
What it was that pulled me in.
Was never the angel that I’d sought!

It wrapped its hands about my neck.
And as our forms drew nigh.
The face was now a sodden wreck.
But, still, I recognized that eye

The old man with his wretched book.
Was not some old and lonely freak.
His spirit skulked inside the brook.
And his bitter trick was now complete.

A body stepped from the frigid pool.
And I watched outside of time.
By the doctrine of some arcane rule.
The body was somehow mine!

He looked down at me from where he stood.
As I screamed up from the well.
His face was mine, and mine his blood.
By some diabolic spell.

And then I felt around me tighten.
The icy water that was my bond.
Specks of wan light began to brighten.
As spirits became visible within the pond.

A choir of voices in my head.
Beseeched me in their hollow tones.
That the black pool must be fed.
By the marrow of my bones.

The ghoul had been right, a devil’s place.
Not only some ancient wyytches well.
He stood there smiling, with my face.
By the black and hungry mouth of Hell!

And just as another must have misled he.
There was a further trial to be undertook.
Before his spirit could be truly free.
He would use my body to pass on the book.

Dusting it down, he turned to leave.
As I writhed within my frozen ghost.
The phantoms of the pool began to feed.
And he walked away, my body’s host.

Gone to search the living land.
For to bewitch some other fool.
To come and take my icy hand.
By Old Harker’s Resurrection Pool.

The Blood Engine

onehundredandeightythree

I

In the seat behind, a woman wittered into her mobile phone. Some reminiscence of how drunk she’d been and how terrible she now felt. Jennings wondered, sinisterly, what it would take to shut her up if a hangover could not. He wiped the sweating condensation from the bus window. It was Monday and the upper deck seethed with bodies, boredom and the resentment of the routine come around again. The slow trickle back into work. Water running down the windows. Five days starting their downhill charge to the gutter.

The bodies walking on the pavement below were steaming with the rain. The wind lashed lank, soaking hair into their faces and cheap umbrellas undid themselves against the gusts. The commuter crowds thickened as the bus came around the corner and started its descent into the high street. It came down between the rows of grand Georgian houses, sending spray out into the multitudes waiting at the various stops that lined the street. Jennings looked up from under the rim of the bus window at the towering buildings. The brick was a deep red, washed with the rain. The ivy that crawled across the faces of every other house was glistening and dripping sullenly.

Brass plaques affixed to the walls announced chiropractors, dentists, solicitors and surveyors. But the pavements were filthy. Plastic swam in the drains and piles of rubbish bags were stacked in the porches. On any floor above ground the dirty, bare windows allowed one to glimpse the washing drying on the horse and the unpapered walls inside. Clothes, irons and tubs of washing powder sat on the sill. There was something of the slum, still, about these buildings.

On the stop before his own Jennings began to gather his damp jacket and scarf. He glanced out of the window as the bus was pulling out. The sign next to the peeling red door that stood behind the bus stop read “Yvette St. Vincent -xxxxxgrapher”. The letters that were missing had been peeled away since long before Jennings had ever noticed them. But they fascinated him. The whole street fascinated him. Though it was just off the city centre and was filled with people waiting to catch their bus he never saw a soul step in or out of these doors. He wondered how these businesses kept up with their rent. Perhaps they were owned in full by the dentists and solicitors? Perhaps they subsisted on the rent money from the hordes of immigrant families crammed into their upper floors? But Yvette St. Vincent’s establishment took the best part of his interest. Every weekday at 8:53 he wondered, again, what field of “graphy” it was that she practiced. And then the bus peeled out and the thought was gone.

 

II

He sat at his desk, the damp cuffs of his trousers brushing against his calves. The computer screen in front of him was horribly bare. It pulsed with the awful whiteness of bone. His mind was fogged. He needed to write a report. He could barely get his head around what it was supposed to be showing the result of. Who cared? Did the people who commissioned it care? Some of them probably did. The ambitious and grasping idiots who strutted around the office in too-tight suit trousers and ugly shoes. The kind who spoke loudly and had nothing worthwhile to say. They would be the ones who critiqued his work. Send it back to him in a relay with all the mistakes pointed out. The ones who made him feel two inches tall because he couldn’t invest in the quality of his work or how it affected company outcomes.

The ironic thing was that he was well respected within the office. His intelligence was obvious. Everyone made mistakes in these reports, it was the natural part of the upper management to check them and send them back for revision. The ambitious and grasping may have thought him a little odd but they knew that they could rely on his ability. Some were, perhaps, even a little intimidated by his sharp mind.

It rained for three days solid. For eight hours each day Jennings sat in his damp clothes in front of the slowly amassing figures and diagrams on his screen. He loathed them, these black scratches that filled the white page. What import did they have? They would be picked through in an hour and then discarded. Like faded and forgotten names in some country graveyard. He longed to leave a mark that would endure.

On the fourth day, as the sky was beginning to clear, he walked through the office door to water pouring from the ceiling fittings.

“Jennings. Did you not get the email?”.

“Sorry?”.

One of the office managers squelched across the sodden carpet towards him.

“The whole goddamn roof came in, man. We sent out an email yesterday evening, did you not get it?”.

Jennings looked around, a little bewildered. Sunlight twinkled in the sheets of water that lay on every desk. Busy repairmen and office staff hurried, toting computers and files, here and there amongst the damage. A dim rainbow shone in the spray by the operational manager’s desk.

“No. I don’t think so” Jennings mumbled.

The office manager clapped him on the shoulder.

“Well, sorry you wasted your bus fare, but it’s full pay and sat at home for at least the rest of the week. I’ll make sure they put you on the distribution list for the updates going into next week. Not a bad way to start your Thursday, eh?”.

He squeezed Jenning’s shoulder and winked. The man’s breath was stale with cigarettes and coffee.

Jennings took the lift back to the ground floor and headed onto the street. One of the security guards nodded and waved as he passed him. The sun was out and it beamed down in blades of brilliant heat. The air was cool and refreshing as the water gathered in the gutter began to rise and evaporate. Jennings began heading to the bus stop. He slowed and then stopped and loitered outside the coffee shop on the corner. He felt strangely uplifted and elated. People hurried past, their bags and umbrellas battering against their shins. They were stragglers who had been caught in traffic or who had overslept their alarms. Perhaps this joy was only Schadenfreude, but Jennings was not in a position to count or categorize his joys. Even if it was only to sit and have a relaxed cup of coffee with no commitments to meet, he decided that he would enjoy at least a little of his freedom in town before he retreated to his flat.

Sitting by the window and watching the truly late storm past with knitted brows and panic stricken eyes, Jennings sipped his coffee and thought about the day that stretched ahead. The cafe was full of mothers meeting after dropping the kids to school and students in no hurry to get to class. Jennings went through a mental list of films he had recorded at home and weighed up which one he would sit down to at lunch and which he would watch, with dithering interest, over a bottle of wine that evening.

He liked old films. Old horror films, particularly. The older the better. It was the same thing that attracted him to the old Georgian buildings. The sad, dreamy quality of things that have fallen slightly into ruin and are buried away from the gaze of those who are not inclined to see. The horror imagery was almost incidental. It was the sweet melancholy of art gone to waste and a cast of actors, long dead, whom no-one would ever remember, that made him feel something. A queasy, creeping but unique and calming feeling.

As he drank away the last of his coffee and watched the traces of black grounds swim lazily in the dregs he decided what he was going to do with his day of freedom. He stepped out of the cafe and headed up the streets and, against the crowds, towards the row of Georgian houses. The bus that would have carried him home passed him and a bus on the same route on which he came to work idled at its stop. He stood on the porch of Yvette St. Vincent’s curious enterprise, trying to surreptitiously peer in through the window. He could make out the dim outline of furniture and nothing more. He stepped up to the peeling, crimson door.

 

III

There was a row of buzzers on the right of the door. On all but one the incomprehensible surnames of foreign residents were written on in rain smudged biro. He pressed in the button that remained. He heard the far off rattle of the buzzer but he got not tell from whence it issued. He waited. The streets were quiet now and he still heard the idling motor of the bus behind him. He heard feet coming down the stairs and was beginning to turn when the door was flung wide.

An Arab man stood in the doorway looking at him with a vaguely disgusted look on his face.

“Yvette St. Vincent?”.

The Arab man’s brows knitted together.

“I mean, I’m looking for Yvette St. Vincent”, Jennings said.

The man reached out and tapped the set of buzzers.

“I did. I rang the bell”, Jennings stammered.

“No. Doesn’t work. No button. This is my flat” he said, jabbing his finger towards the buzzer that Jennings had used.

“I’m very sorry. I just assumed, because the rest were unmarked, you see…”

“You have to knock”.

Jennings pictured a scene where the Arab was about to slam the door in his face and force him to knock on the door. Instead, the man stepped to one side to allow him into the hall.

It was dark and the sharp smell of chlorine mixed with the warm smell of washed clothes floated in the shadows. Jennings hung around the bottom of the stair allowing his eyes to adjust to the gloom. The man pushed past him without another word and begun to climb the stair. As he reached the point where the stairs turned he barked something in his own language to someone out of view on the landing.

Jennings was left alone in the hallway. He looked at the back of the door and considered what it was that had motivated him to come. There weren’t any answers. Some rush of passion that was fading like the blooms of coloured light before his eyes. He ground down a creeping anxiety and turned resolutely to find the door he had come here seeking.

It was all the way in the back of the hallway down the side of the staircase, enveloped entirely in the darkness. It looked like it should have been the entrance to some utility or storeroom. Only a brass plaque screwed into the wood made it stand out as anything other than that, and even the writing upon it was unreadable in the deep shadow. He began to think about what he was going to say. Began to think about walking out of the building and stepping onto the bus. His mind drifted. In the darkness and in that strange situation his mind and body seemed to slide away from one another. He thought about his warm, lonely flat. He was surprised to hear a loud banging on the door and realize that it was his hand that had floated up to the door to cause it.

There was a shuffling behind the door and he heard several locks being undone. He stepped back only a step and his back hit the stairwell. The door opened and a pale face peered out at him.

“Yes?”.

A light bulb encased in a frosted glass shade cast a warm light from behind the face looking out through the crack of the door. She had a lightly made up face and he could not place either her age or her accent. There were a few lines in the one and a a Slavic draw on the Y in the other, but he could not make a decision on either.

“Are you Ms. St. Vincent?” he asked.

“Yes?”.

And now what, he thought.

She smiled an encouraging smile at him as he fumbled with the decision.

“Are you a photographer?” he managed.

She opened the door a little more. She was wearing a long wine coloured dress that fit closely at the neck and a pair of what looked like black riding boots.

“No, I’m afraid not”, she said, “though I believe I have, still, some cards for a reputable man. I picked them up a while ago. I really ought to have that sign fixed, I suppose”.

“Oh, well, I, err…” Jennings was lost now. Entirely.

“What kind of work were you looking to have done?”.

There was a mischievous smile playing at the corner of her dry lips.

“Well, nevermind. I think he does all sorts. Would you like to come in and have a seat whilst I find the card?” she asked.

“Erm, yes, thank you”.

She stepped aside and held the door for him and, as he stepped over the threshold, he dropped his scarf. He reached down and fumbled for it on the darkened floor. As he stood up he came face to face with her. She was watching him with a strange concentration that broke back into a welcoming smile as their eyes focused on one another.

 

IV

He walked down a long hallway and stepped into what must have been the drawing room of the house before it had been carved up into flats. The large window through which he had tried to peer from the outside was fitted with murky glass and most of the light in the room came from the fire that crackled in a huge, ornate fireplace. The blurs of colour beyond the window were of buses and cars and people walking along the lonely street.

She came behind him down the hall, walking with a light tread. She motioned him to sit on a hard backed sofa in front of the fire and she excused herself to head behind a heavy curtain hanging across the arch at the back of the room. He looked into the snapping fire and listened to the heavy ticking of a grandfather clock. The room was decorated in a deeply period style; all brass candlesticks and bucolic watercolors that were darkened with age and faded by light. There was a smell of damp and dust in the air, mingled with a sweet undertone; familiar but just beyond the grasp of recall.

She came from behind the curtain carrying a silver tray upon which a china teapot piped thin wisps of steam into the murky air.

“Well, I’m afraid I couldn’t find his card so I shall have to offer you a cup of tea by way of apology” she smiled.

He began to stand, muttering some polite excuse.

“Sit, sit, sit. Don’t be silly, just one cup” she chided as she set the tray down on the small table in front of the sofa. Before he had had a chance to offer a counter the aromatic tea was splashing into the cup and he found himself sitting once more and watching it pour.

“There now. Milk? No? Then, sugar?”.

“Two please”.

“Perfect” and she dropped two quaint cubes into the golden tea and passed him the cup, rattling on its saucer.

She sat on the opposite corner of the sofa smoothing her dress under her. They sat in silence for an interminably long time. Jennings cursed the futile endeavor and himself for both attempting and then failing in its execution.

“I really must see if I can find those cards” she said, at last. “You wouldn’t believe how many people come looking for photographic services. I really, really must have that sign relettered”.

Jennings sipped his tea and watched her as she stared into the heart of the fire.

“What do you do, Mr…?”.

“Jennings. I’m a loss adjuster”.

“Are you really? You always hear that title. But I don’t think I have any idea what one is”.

She looked back at him dreamily.

Loss adjuster. It sounds a little sinister when you say it out loud”.

He smiled.

“You’re not the first person to comment on it. And what do you do here, Ms. St. Vincent?”

“I’m a haemotographer” she replied.

“A haemotographer?”.

“Yes”.

She said it in a prickly and clipped manner and sipped at her tea with exactitude.

“Something to do with blood?”.

“That’s a bit reductionist, but I suppose it fits” she said.

There was a heavy silence that he did not know how to navigate. He watched her from the corner of his eye. By the light of the fire the lines in her face had melted a little and her grey hair glowed with an echo of what it might once might have been. She had obviously possessed a great beauty in her youth. It still lingered, quiet and delicate, like smoke that ghosts the air after the roaring bonfire has died.

“I’m sorry” she spoke at last, “it was my father’s profession and it’s little understood. I suppose I have inherited his defensiveness around it”.

“Was he a biologist?”.

“Of a sort” she said, turning to face him again. And now the fire that burned was in her eyes.

“But he was much more besides. A scientist. A true scientist; bold and with an appetite for discovery that overflowed the brackets of so called fields. I am a shadow compared to him. I have gone further only because I ride the momentum he created. If he were still here today…”.

“He sounds a very great man. You continue his work, then? As a haemotograper?”.

She watched him with shrewd eyes, grey like flint and only the pink threads of late age in the white and the folds in the eyelids marking them as anything but a hot blooded youth’s.

“I have never known anything else” she said quietly. “Would you care for another tea?”.

She leant and poured him a further cup. The faint smell of lavender, orange and sandalwood floated off of her wrists. Jennings felt a great calm. Acquiescing to this strange circumstance, he found, brought control and a bright sense of accomplishment.

“What does the title refer to, exactly, though?” he asked, choosing his words carefully.

She slowly buffed the nail of one little finger with that of the ring finger on her opposite hand as she considered her response.

“Do you believe in God, Mr. Jennings?” she asked. There was, again, the thick, Slavic spitting of the syllable in “God”. The capitalization being pronounced..

He winced a little internally. He had hoped for something more when he had found himself rapping on that door in the dark hall.

“No” he answered. The urge to add “I’m afraid not” was swallowed down.

“Neither do I. But, ironically, I find that it is easier to explain what I practice to those that do. We lost something when we killed him, you know? God, I mean. We scientists perhaps lost the most. And far more than we gained. A lot of the curiosity, the wonder and the curiosity of the grand, has gone out of people. They know that science can explain the world and that they only need to wait long enough for the curtain to be pulled slowly back”.

Jennings waited for her to go on. In the silence the clock was a beating insect heart twitching against the wall.

“There are universes inside us, Mr. Jennings. Not in any literal sense. I don’t believe in existence in a grain of sand. But the cellular workings within every living thing are as complex and, I suppose the word is astronomical, as any of the gears that drive the universe without. The splendour out there in the great black sea of galaxies is no more infinite than that which takes place inside our own bodies every second of each day. There is as much to discover, and to correct, in our own workings as anywhere else in existence”.

“And this was your father’s work?” he asked.

“He splintered off from the main streams of scientific thought. His ideas and the things that he discovered were in direct opposition to the accepted wisdom and he spent a long time in isolation whilst he built a case to present. Too long. Daddy feared ridicule and loathed assumption. But there was always something new to test and to validate. His discoveries came one after another. In time, the various fields of science were so far removed from what Daddy had pursued, revealed, that his work would have looked like alchemy to them”.

She sipped her tea and a sinister, knowing little smle played at the corners of her mouth

You could show them, though?” Jennings said, “You say you’ve gone even further than him, right? You can finalize his legacy”.

She dismissed the idea away with a wave of her slender, wrinkled hand.

“I’m an old woman with no background in their institutions. Everything I learned was from acting as Daddy’s assistant. They wouldn’t give me the time of day”.

“Show me, then” he said. Unwonted calm had made him bold.

But she didn’t meet his gaze. She watched the shift of colours through the murky window over his shoulder. A muted ray of sun lit her face. She must once really have been tremendously beautiful, he thought.

“OK” she said and put down her cup.

 

V

She walked back each of the heavy damask curtains. Jennings watched on as a trill of electric anticipation pinballed through his nerves. But behind the curtain there was only a kitchen. She motioned him to come over as she flicked on an overhead light. He noticed a door, tucked in beside the Welsh dresser and secured with a large padlock, as he sat down at the large wooden table she invited him towards. On the table, before the seat she had placed him in, was a bizarre piece of machinery.

It was about the size of a microwave oven, all told, though this included the height and width of the copper pipes that snaked in an out of it. What appeared to be a short stack of bellows was also part of its makeup. The face of it was littered with dials housed in glass bubbles and, on the top, two chrome spheres were set at equal height atop rods wound with copper wire. He recognized many of the elements but could not name more than a few. The whole thing was like some antiquated piece of lab equipment from the days when they ran current through dead frogs and watched them spastically twitch.

She set down a tray upon which there was a syringe, gauze, a test tube and a smaller tray made of glass. Jennings looked at her.

“Some things, it is easier to show than to tell” she said, “Can you roll up your sleeve, please?”.

“I don’t…”.

“I’m going to take a small sample of blood as part of the process. Have you ever had a blood test?”.

“Erm, yes, I think once. Yes, I have”.

“Good. It’s no more than that”.

He began to unbutton his cuff as she tore the packaging from the syringe and began to fit the needle to the barrell. His hand shook a little as he fumbled with the button of his shirt. She took his wrist and brought his bare arm nearer to her. Her hands were as dry and cold as lake ice. She swabbed his arm at the crook of the elbow.

“Do you not like needles, Mr. Jennings?” she asked.

“I’m afraid not”.

“Look the other way”.

He shifted in the chair and stared into the battered grain of the locked door beside the Welsh dresser. The padlock that held its hasp to the wood was a lump of worn iron. He wondered what could need such significant protection?

She coughed and he misinterpreted it as a seemly way to let a man weak at the knees know that she was finished. He turned his head to see the needle still slid into the skin and an issue of blood still growing in the drum of the syringe. His stomach turned over on itself and his head felt like it lost five pounds of substance in an instant. He turned back to the door which now seemed to warp and bend before his eyes. He took a ragged breath.

“Just a moment more” she said in a cautious half-whisper.

“There now”.

He felt a pad of gauze pressed into his flesh.

“Give me your other hand” she said.

He did as he was instructed and turned back to face her, the chair wobbling on its legs just a little. She placed his hand on the gauze and he took over applying the pressure.

“Would you like another cup of tea?” she asked.

He shook his head delicately.

She took the test tube and began to decant the blood into it from the syringe. She screwed the test tube onto the open end of one of the copper pipes that emanated from the machine. She threw a large lever that took up almost one whole side of the thing and the machine began to thrum. The bellows started to pump like desperate, dry lungs. The table below Jenning’s elbow began to vibrate gently.

“What does it run on?” he asked, noticing that there were no wires coming from the machine.

“There’s a battery inside. My own design” she replied.

The blood in the test tube began to drain upward and into the copper piping. She reached across him and made a small correction to one of the dials. The humming of the machine and the vibration that it threw out began to ramp up in intensity. Arcs of cobalt blue electric charge began to crack and bounce between the two metal spheres on top of the body. Jennings lurched backwards. The air seemed to fill with electric charge. He watched the hair on his bare arm begin to stand up. An ear splittingly high pitched whine began to sound. The machine groaned and shook. The whine turned into a metallic scream and the veins of lightning snapped and whipped between the metal posts.

Jennings pushed back his chair in alarm. He envisioned this homemade reactor, whatever the hell it was, bursting and hurling shards of metal into his chest. He looked to Yvette. She was rapt with awe, unmoving. The reflection of the electric light flashed in her eyes as if they were sapphires in the sun. And, suddenly, the vibration and the lightning dropped out of existence. The bellows, which had been working feverishly, wheezed and died. All that remained was a hollow, sonorous moan as the blood began to flow, drop by drop, back into the test tube from which it had been drained.

There was a long silence

“We need to wait a couple of minutes” she said.

Jennings tried to swallow and found that his mouth was tacky and dry. The hair had gone down on his arm but his nerves felt as if they were twitching and dancing. He rolled down his sleeve.

“What does it do?” he asked.

“Would you follow even if I were to explain? I don’t mean to be course, but…”.

He supposed he wouldn’t. He was a sceptical man, though, and his instinct was to demand the credentials of all that was put before him, whether he knew their worth or not. He had been held back in his life, somehow, by this scepticism. Those that stand and question are often left behind as the rest go over the top. The cautious may live but they will not lead. Consideration and rationale is often mistaken for cowardice by the chaotic and feeling masses.

She watched the blood through the glass.

“That should do it” she said.

Taking the glass tray and setting it in front of him she placed the test tube next to it and then got up to switch off the light. He looked at the blood in the tube. Perhaps it was the light but he had the strangest fancy that it gave off an, almost imperceptible, blue glow. She sat down in the chair next to him and unscrewed the cap from the test tube.

“This”, she said, “is what Daddy worked to perfect all his life”.

She poured the blood into the tray. It dispersed with an exaggerated slowness. It didn’t seem to move in the way that a liquid should move. He couldn’t put his finger on it but the movement had an eerie quality. It was too uniform, somehow. As the last portion of the glass tray was covered by the glassy, shining blood the tinge of blue light that he wondered whether he had imagined became undeniable.

Veins of bright blue phosphorescence began to snake outward from the centre of the liquid. They crept across the shimmering surface of blood and began to form complex geometric patterns. Jennings hands grasped the edge of the table. The threads of light gradually began to take on recognizable form. The air was suffused with an indescribable smell, somewhere between ozone, hot metal and an animal shed. The image that appeared was an impossibly intricate scene of himself, Jennings, sat at a desk in the office. Not his desk, but that of his boss. The tiny identifying details were all visible in the seams of light that permeated the shed blood and traced the image.

He looked at Yvette, his mouth agape. She motioned him to look back towards the table.

The image was breaking up now, the blue light diffusing back into the crimson blood. But, once more, the veins of blue light pulsed and began to creep into appreciable forms. Now he saw himself sitting in a house that he did not recognize. The items that filled the room, though, were his belongings.

What is this?” he whispered as he gazed into the pool of strange, charged fluid.

“It’s what you came here to see, is it not? This is what I do. I am a haemotographer” she replied.

“What does it mean? Is it my future?”.

“Of a sort. I don’t pretend to understand these things to their full extent, I only know the process by which we can access them. I’m like a smith forming cogs for a great watchmaker. If only Daddy were still here…”.

He felt himself overcome. Hot tears began to form and his throat felt choked. A single tear fell and splashed into the blood. He lurched with a fear of nameless consequence. But there was no reaction. For a long time the blood lay still, its previous image having dissolved. He was about to push his chair away when there was a sudden change on the glassy surface. A tiny swirling pattern appeared in the centre of the liquid. It grew in size, its whirling tendrils now stirring every inch of the surface. The smell of ozone and butchery grew in intensity, stinging his eyes. The trees of blue light flashed in stark relief. Unlike the previous images which had traced in gradually, this final graphic on the surface of the blood appeared in a split second and lasted only half as long again.

It was of a single building towering above a city skyline. It seemed familiar to him but there was something subtly off about the picture. He did not have the time to place just what that thing was. The image was made up of the same tracery of blue light as the previous visions,  but in this there were two solid and opaque elements. A single window in the tower and a moon in the sky that glowed with grim intensity.

And then it was gone. The light suffused back into the liquid and the smell of gore and cold, metallic plasma hung, dying, as the only trace. Jennings let out a breath that he did not realize he had been holding. There was a pain at his temples and his jaw ached.

“What the hell just happened?” he asked.

She stood up and pulled her the material of her dress at the wrists.

“Come and sit down” she encouraged him.

He stood but stayed where he was, staring at the tray of inert blood. It was his blood. Something made him desire knowledge of what would become of it.

“What would happen if you were to put it back into the machine?” he asked.

“Come, sit, have tea” she said. But there was a look of knowing satisfaction in her eyes.

 

VI

By the time he was getting ready to leave the sky outside was growing dark. They had talked for hours about the machine and the ideas that underpinned it. He still hesitated to call it science. His mind vaulted between accepting what he had appreciated with his own senses and the unreality of what he had seen. Yvette had a knowledge that went far beneath the surface, but it was not total. Not enough to cement his own belief or settle the oath she felt she owed to her father. But she knew things that Jennings could tell she still kept withheld. There were times that the conversation would be subtly diverted down different paths. The desire to tease these secrets from out of the shadows had a strong pull. She walked him down the long hall and to the door.

“I don’t know what to say, Yvette. What you’re doing here, it’s earth shattering. All it would take is one person in the right position to see it… You could change the course of science”.

“And then what?” she asked.

“You go down in history? You advance the sciences? You become fabulously wealthy!?”.

“Daddy left more than enough collateral for me”.

“But, don’t you want people to know your father’s work?”.

“I suppose I suffer under the same curse that he did. The fear that they would laugh me out of the building before I had a chance to show them anything”.

“I could help” he said.

But she only smiled and opened the door.

The hallway was as black as pitch. The smells of cooking drifted in the cold air. He could hear the banging of hordes of small feet on the floorboards in the flats above. He opened the front door and stepped out into the night.

The rows of houses were like the imposing ridges of some black valley. The street was a trench of shade and flickering orange sodium. He stood at the bus stop and watched the streams of traffic and people on the high street further down the road. No one walked amongst the rows, here. It was strange; he felt no trepidation, isolated and exposed as he was. In fact, he felt indestructible. He felt rooted to the concrete, vast and immovable. His heart beat a solid, unshakable tattoo. He was aware of himself, of his strength, his ability and resolve, in a way that he could not remember having felt before. The bus came and he stepped boldly into the harsh light.

That night he dreamt. Dreams of fierce colour and emotion. In one he stood at the top of a small flight of stone steps looking down into a conservatory or greenhouse. Amongst the rows of tables and trellises a girl walked here and there, watering the plants. He took the steps slowly and the sound of his feet echoed in the glass chamber, though he could see nothing beyond the panes. It appeared to be a starless night beyond and, as he lifted his head, he saw his own reflection staring vertiginously down at him. The girl did not react as he reached the ground floor. She walked amongst the rows in her white gown, humming to herself.  The conservatory was lit by shaded bulbs that hung on long cords from the beam in the ceiling and the soft, swaying light they gave off showed the girl’s thin, pale body beneath the delicate fabric.

“Can I help you water them, at all?” he asked. And in the dream the movement of his lips and the sound coming from them seemed quite disjointed and of little consequence to one another.

She only continued to float from plant to plant, all the while humming some ethereal tune, dipping her watering can at the ones she decided needed nourishing. Nonetheless, he sensed that she had heard him.

They’re quite beautiful” he breathed, “you are very kind to come looking for them in the night when they need to be fed, and not wait ‘til morning”.

She looked in his direction but did not appear to see him. Though, perhaps a little flicker in her eye and a twitch at the corner of her mouth told him that she saw something. She went back to her flowers. He looked at the plants. The were the most vibrant crimson roses he had ever seen. Their petals were thick and tough and they seemed almost to burn with colour. The stems were a deep, dark green; the dense thorns that jutted from them were almost black. The cloying, sweet smell, undercut with the sharp ammonia of the earth, made him as dizzy as when he had caught his own inverse form staring down at him from the shadowy glass in the roof. He spoke and his tongue felt like a clot of lead in his mouth;

“Tell me; will I help you tend your roses?”.

And now she turned once more to him and this time, narrowing her eyes, she seemed to pick out his image, almost as if he were fading into view before her. She was quite unafraid and she shook her head gently, her blonde hair drifting too slowly about her shoulders.

Then how will you ever feed them all before the dawn comes?” he said, and this time his lips did not move at all.

He came up behind her and placed his hands on her delicate shoulders. She did not react. He looked down at the flowers to which she was attending. The roses in the bed before her were as white as polished bone. At first.

As she tipped the watering can forward a fine shower of vibrant, red blood rained onto the petals, peppering them with spots of colour. He watched, his hands still on her shoulders, as the flowers were washed with crimson. The blood that fell into the soil gathered in small, black pools. He looked at the rest of the flowers in the rose garden. They, too, dripped and shone with the gore that coated them.

She turned and her pale face looked up at him. He felt her bones creak beneath the thin skin. Her eyes were like those of a puppet, black, shining and hollow. The watering can in her hand hung at her side and the light sound of the blood pattering on the tile was the only one in the winter garden. Her lips curled back revealing two savage rows of tightly bunched, thin and translucent teeth. Like the tearing fangs of something hauled up from the depths of the ocean. They seperated with a sound like the rustle of dry grass or rusted iron being manipulated. Her cold, abyssal eyes showed no emotion. She placed her hands atop his and leaned in towards him.

He had awoken bathed in cold sweat but by the time he had showered and was sat on the bus the weight of the dream had been dusted from his shoulders by the fresh sunlight of morning. He went back to Yvette’s alongside the garrulous crowds of commuters. But he was no longer fazed or afeared. He felt imperious; apart, but possessed of a singular knowledge.

 

VII

He visited Yvette again and again, even after the restoration had been completed in the office and he was back on a work schedule. He found the time. He began to research, under her direction, science and the relevant disciplines. As well as the modern books that she advised, (“Even a stopped clock is right twice a day”) she outlined several esoteric works on middle ages surgery and alchemy for him to read. These came into his hands only through arduous pursuit. He spent long evenings in local and tertiary libraries making notes from books too ancient to be withdrawn. He would arrive home in the early hours, his mind still piecing together the summoning of spirits, aether and the humours. But these things did fit together. It became apparent that these were not the wild fancies of a few heathen mystics and conmen, they were part of a comprehensive, though incomplete, school of natural philosophy from which science had diverted rather than evolved. He became increasingly convinced that it had been diverted along the wrong path.

He took the treatment again and again. The wonders that were laid before him as he gazed into the pulsing blood never lost their luster. They showed times, places, events and people beyond the imagination. And as the blood was galvanized by that strange engine; his own self was similarly charged. The travails of life were reduced to their appropriate size in the face of a new world that stretched far beyond the previously observed horizon. At work he had a new zeal and a sharpness of mind. The work was a trifle; a chore compared to his new vocation. He completed it in a fraction of the time afforded to him and adopted what was now available, utilizing it for further study. Nothing seemed insurmountable. He was being noticed now not only for his abilities but also his drive and resolve. Members of senior teams began to sniff around, piling on blandishments and dropping hints about bigger and more gainful roles.

But there was still something that stopped him from committing fully. A deep rooted anxiety and diffidence that stopped him just short. Even in the accumulating fervour, he lacked something that the rest of them had.

Sitting with Yvette by the guttering fire one evening he turned over an idea that had been stalking the corners of his mind.

“Did you read the book by Aquinas that I recommended?” she asked, “If it is truly straw, as he claimed, then it is a most magnificent kind…”,

She stopped and watched him.

“Are you OK?”, she enquired and placed a hand on his knee.

“Have you ever considered what might happen if we were to introduce the blood back into the host?” he said.

For a long time there was nothing said. The fire continued to smoulder and a thin smell of smoke filled the room.

“Of course I have” she said, at last.

“I’m willing to try”.

She got up without a word and began to tend to the fire.

“Daddy believed that it would be the culmination of his work. He attempted it on rats. But nothing became of it. Of course, that is how it appeared. Who can know really what effect it can have had on them?” she said, without turning.

“But they survived?”.

“Yes”.

She poked listlessly at the ash in the fireplace.

“Well then. I’m still not sure whether the blood should be still manifesting its charge or whether we should wait for it to return to its intert state…”.

She whirled round, the poker in her hand blithely pointed towards his face.

“Why? What do you hope to achieve?” she demanded.

“It’s your work, Yvette. Our work, in as much as I have played a small role in it these few months. It’s your father’s work. You said it yourself, he saw it as the culmination…”.

“And why should it be you?” she demanded, and a small rain of ash fell from the dirtied poker as her hand began to shake. “You have been my guinea pig more than anything. It is my work. My father’s work. Our work. Or is it because, really, you only want to benefit from it yourself? To profit from the gifts you think the procedure will offer?”.

“Yvette, I…”.

“No!” and with this she flung the poker into the hearth, her grey hair falling loose into her face. “You think that I have not submitted to the process as we have it now? You think you are the only explorer in those outer reaches? Listen and know, my boy, you are not the first!”.

He stared into those ferocious, rheumy eyes in silence. At last he spoke;

“What is it you saw in the blood?”.

She pushed the hair out her face and laughed. It had the dry rattle of dirt being thrown across a coffin lid. She plucked the poker from the gathering fire and thrust it back into its holder. She sat across from him on the sofa and dusted down the front of her skirt.

“The engine that I use is not the original. Everything gets smaller in time, of course. Daddy’s original was the size of a whole room. And the results were different; far more violent. Far less stable. The last time I used it was after Daddy left us. It is tempting to seek answers in powers that we do not understand, projecting onto them, in blind assumption, the ability to grant us answers. The issues of blood that were used were far greater, originally, and it somehow magnified them even beyond that. I saw it dance and boil and roll like a sea. It did not trace out images but, instead, took on their forms. The currents that ran through it were like cables, twisting it into shape and holding them there. I saw him, my father, on his knees and screaming without a sound. But it was not like an image at all. It was if he were there, sentient, tortured and soaked in my blood. My blood. I reached out to take his hand…”.

He waited for her to speak. But she only closed her eyes, a second too late to prevent a single tear from escaping and falling into her lap.

“Well, that’s that” she said at last. Jennings fumbled with his hands.

They spoke for a long time but always around the edges of meaning. Childhood, fate and ethics were skirted and generalized. For them intimacy lay always beneath ice and there was no fire to warm it and no dark in which to hide what might be brought up from beneath. Not even at an end of things.

He watched her by the light of the fire as it spat cinders into the faded carpet. The curtains were drawn tight against the chill evening air. The sounds of buses and footfall on the street outside had dwindled and died. This strange knowledge they possessed; only to be found within these four walls in the world of the living and only in pockets of black air inside a few buried and lost alchemist’s skulls in the world of the the dead, it separated them from others as surely as the rift that separates those two worlds. He felt as if they were the only two people left on Earth. And he knew that she would not deny him.

 

VIII

Jennings sat down at the table and rolled up his sleeve. He winced at the bruised puncture marks that stared back at him. He felt his equilibrium go and looked away, but still did not find his mind at peace. The sound of Yvette readying the engine was vague and distant as he stared into the battered grain of the door that stood beside the Welsh dresser. The lonely ticking of the grandfather clock had become a too-slow throb. He only came around to himself as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you ready?” she asked. And it was like the voice of a priest at the bars of a cell. Sorrow, resignation and selfish relief.

He placed his arm on the table and gritted his teeth.

The machine pumped like a bitter heart jerking the blood through its copper veins. The smell of ozone filled the air and the constellation of black wounds on his inner arm sang with discomfort as the hair was pulled to stand upright. He watched the machine work and so did she. They stared blankly at the workings only to avoid one another’s gaze.

She busied herself preparing the needle. The blood in the drum gave off its abnormal blue glow. He stared deep into it as the light waned. He was waiting for her to say something as she gripped his arm and positioned it. But she did not say a word. Not as she guided the needle towards his flesh and not as she threaded it into the vein. He looked away, overcome with a thick nausea. He began to speak but no noise came out. He tried to say her name but, already, his eyes were turning back in his head and he found himself sliding into the oily and absolute darkness.

He came to sprawled across the table and with his mind floating in a horrible state of dissociation. The room was pitch black. He found his lips moving and his tongue twitching in his mouth. Involuntarily he spoke her name

Yvette… Yvette?”.

He got uneasily to to his feet and groped his way into the kitchen in search of the matches. The countertop was covered in some grainy substance that clung to his fingers. He found the matches and struck one. In the little pool of light that it cast the room seemed strangely drab and he rubbed his heavy eyes. There was complete silence and this, particularly, unnerved him in a nameless way.

He called her name again. The match guttered and died and the acrid smell made him feel more uneasy again. His nostrils flared in the dark. The damp and dusty smell of the room was gone. As was the smell of lavender that always pervaded. The smell of her. As he lit another match with an unsteady hand he caught something lying on the floor. It was the the iron padlock that held the door by the Welsh dresser. He turned the meagre light towards it and found it wide open.

He stepped hesitantly into the dark aperture. A set of stone steps lead down into a blackness that the light of a match would not penetrate. He stood there for a long time lighting match after match. He had always assumed that the door led into Yvette’s private quarters. But no person would live in a frigid cellar such as this. The walls were spotted with dark threads and spots of mould and the stairs were uneven and without a bannister.

He couldn’t reconcile why he stayed so long staring into that abyssal gloom until the sound that was growing in volume became loud enough to attract his conscious attention. And yet it was still too quiet to place. But it grew. He recognized it at last, turned and, dropping the match, ran for the door. It was the sound of some huge volume of heavy liquid sloshing back and forth across whatever unseen paving lay at the bottom of the steps.

He stumbled across the living room, banging into furniture as he went. The noise amongst the awful silence was not enough to drown out the unnatural, and still growing, sucking sound of that malicious tide which he could still hear beating inside his head. He felt his way down the hall and to the door. As he groped for the door knob he considered for one terrible second that it might not open at his command.

He pulled it open and slammed it behind him. The sound echoed in the dead dark hallway. But it was the only sound. There was no thunder of feet above or foreign voices calling them to heel. He felt his away along the staircase. The scratching of the match as it was drawn across the strip and the tiny hissing explosion as it caught set his heart racing with their clamour. But this was arrested as a further noise crept upon his shaken consciousness. On the landing above, something began to scrabble around in the dark.

He turned the weak globe of light towards the stair as the source of the noise came around the turn. It was a woman in form. Young, athletic, nude and entirely soaked in crimson, shimmering blood. But it did not move like a human. It began to skitter down the stairs like a spider or a lizard, its limbs at right angles to its body. Out of its face, huge eyes stared. Wide and white as porcelain. The pupils were huge and venomously hateful; this thing had perhaps never seen light. The staircase shook as it made its way towards him. He saw the broad pupils catch the sputtering light just before the match went out. He felt the air rush forward as a dripping hand reached toward him in the darkness. He screamed. And the creature screamed back.

 

IX

He pulled the door closed behind him and walked slowly out into the street. It had the shape of the world that he knew but, also, the unreality that he had expected. The rows of houses, the empty streets, the abandoned pavements; they were all covered in a thin layer of pale grey dust. There was not a single living being nor sound. He only knew he still heard by the tread of his soft footsteps. There was no scent in the air and no breeze to brush his clothes or skin.  He stood in in the middle of the road and looked up at the sky. It was a roiling mass of crimson clouds. Some silent maelstrom seemed to be churning the entire atmosphere. There were occasional flashes of lighting within the banks of scarlet cloud but no thunder ever sounded. It was so quiet, so horribly quiet, that he could hear the blood pulsing in his veins.

He walked down into the city centre. He passed the cafe where he had stayed a while the morning that he had met Yvette. He looked through the huge plate windows. It was an empty room. The sign above the door had vanished. The walls and pillars and glass only remained. He looked further down the street and found the same strange emptiness outside and within each building. It was like walking along the bones of a skeleton, each thread of flesh, of life itself, had been picked clean from the world. Only the underpinning remained. He looked down the thoroughfare to the street just over. He saw his work building. It, too, was an abandoned crypt.

It was neither night nor day in this world. A huge moon glowed in the vibrant, crimson sky. It gave off a waxy blue-tinged light the colour of cold, dead skin. But the light was too bright and, almost too disturbing to properly apprehend, caused no shadows to be cast from anything on which it fell. The world was a perpetual and sterile dusk, dredged in the dust of ages. He ran a finger across a wall and rubbed the soft matter between his fingers. It was as if the sky that he had looked upon were only a veil that had been scorched and had fallen like scattered ashes.

He wondered, vaguely, what might lay inside these forsaken shells of the former world, set against that blood red sky? What atrocities of form and aberrations of orthodoxy might rock back and forth within, only waiting for a witness to rouse their natures and begin their crazed dancing? He was not afraid now. In this way he had gotten what he had wanted. He had it, the thing that had held him back for so long; the abnegation of that ultimate terror. After all; why would a man fear death when the existence that he inhabits is something so very much worse?

As he came onto the main street he saw the only sign of life (or something approaching it) towards its opposite end. Near the top of a tower block on the opposite side of the river, a light burned in a solitary window. A tiny square of eerie and pulsing blue. He walked down the middle of the wide road, his eyes never leaving the pinnacle of the tower. In that still and silent tomb he moved towards the light and, even when it began to burn his eyes and the blood began to throb in his neck, he did not let his gaze fall. The world did not breathe and the footprints that trailed behind him were like etchings in cold stone.

At Last (Death of a Polar Bear)

onehundredandeightyone

I

I was sitting on the sofa and watching TV when I noticed it. The flat was bitterly cold. My girlfriend had moved out about six months prior and, without the extra money, it had come down to food or heat. I don’t remember what it was that I was watching. Some documentary or a repeat of a crime drama. Something from terrestrial TV. I was under a blanket and having a final cigarette before bed. On the hand that held the cigarette the knuckles were starting to ache from the cold. When I exhaled it cascaded out in huge plumes, the tobacco smoke mingling with my visible breath. Under the blanket, my other hand was wedged between my thighs.

I felt it as an itch on my neck, halfway between the ear and the shoulder. I leant my hea dto one side to rub it away against the collar of my work shirt. As my skin brushed the limp cloth a terrible pain shot out like something with teeth. I lurched and dropped the cigarette on the sofa where it rolled into the groove of the seat cushions. Jumping onto the cold floorboards I flung the cushions aside and found the smouldering butt, dropping it into an abandoned cup of coffee, and patted down the embers that were smouldering on the fabric.

I sat on the icy floor, my heart racing a little. Delicately I sought the throbbing area on the side of my neck. Even to touch it brought near-agony. It was about the size of a 50 pence piece and raised up by about half an inch. It felt warm to the touch and I could feel a pulse beating quickly within. What the hell was it? Perhaps an ingrown hair, an impacted follicle? Perhaps it was an allergic reaction? But none of these things gelled. That morning there had been nothing there. I had used no new shower gel or washing powder, anything that might have caused it. Maybe that was the issue? The amount that I could shower and do washing had become something that I had to ration to make ends meet. Maybe it was an accumulation of that greasy, cold, dirty feeling that comes on the poor with winter? It was not pleasant to think of myself as poor.

I stood up and looked at the mark in the mirror which hung behind the sofa. The mark was a deep plum colour. It looked as bad as it felt. My shoulder twitched as little shivers of pain radiated out and into the nerves. I leaned in to the mirror. At the centre of the mark was a spot that was almost black. Only the reading lamp was on and I tilted my head to allow the light to fall on it better. The black spot moved. My chest felt empty as I watched. I turned this way and that. But it had definitely twitched. I considered that it might have been a convulsion of muscle. I considered this for a long time before the mirror which hung behind the sofa. But I knew what I had seen.

I sat back down and stared blankly at the television. I no longer felt the cold. I felt the itching in the side of my neck and a breathless kind of fear. I looked out of the window beside me, drawing back a corner of the curtain. An icy chill came off the glass. The nearest hospital was 5 miles outside of town. I had no money for a taxi. A hollow variety of hope was fending off logic and I could not bring myself to ring an ambulance.

I went into the bathroom and pulled the mirrored door of the medicine cabinet wide. stared at the bare shelves as I brushed my teeth. I closed the cabinet door and went to climb into bed. One of the drawers in the nightstand was open a crack. Inside was a strip of Tramadol pills. She had used them when her period was bad. The temptation was to drop a couple and drift away into sleep, dumb and anesthetized. But I had to be up at 6:00 to make it for work. It didn’t matter to them if you had a growth on your neck or an eye out, you didn’t get paid if you didn’t clock in. And if you didn’t clock in 177 days out of 180 you were clocked out for good. I plucked the strip of pills from the drawer and they rattled like tiny bones in their happy, hermetically sealed little pods. The itching in my neck was very bad. I lay down on my side and closed my eyes.

 

II

I can’t say that I slept but I drifted. Half dream and half memory, I thought of some TV advert that I had seen that day or that week. In it a cartoon polar bear crawls in a desert. Big blue drops of sweat roll down his forehead. He sees an oasis on the horizon and his eyes light up. The advert cuts to him reclining on a sun lounger by the oasis, sipping a can of cola through a straw with his face beaming behind a pair of huge sunglasses. He dips his sunglasses and winks at the camera.

I’d seen a video recently about the melting ice caps at the North Pole. It was footage of a pallid, emaciated polar bear staggering across the jagged rocks of the coast, looking for food. Pawing at the seaweed in the tidepools. And was sure that people watching it had picked up the phone to set up their monthly standing order to donate to the charity that had posted the video. And I was sure that another set of people had made a note to try a new and refreshing cola drink. And perhaps a subset of these people were in both camps. But I didn’t have the money to donate to polar bears or buy cola. And I didn’t give a fuck either way.

I was jolted awake by a pain in my neck that made me vomit over the side of the bed. I tried to place a hand across my mouth and the bile ran between my fingers. My hand went, instinctively, to my neck and I pressed against the growth. The pain flashed again and bright red flowers of light exploded across my vision in the dark room. I rolled off the bed and stumbled, disoriented and barely breathing, into the bathroom. I pulled at the cord to turn on the light and found that I barely had the strength to engage the switch. I hauled on the cord and the light came on, the cord swinging wildly and clicking against the wall. I was almost blind with the pain, my eyes took time to focus as I squinted at the blurred mass of pale colour in the mirror’s surface.

The growth was larger, darker and, to my horror, there were long, black, thread like marks radiating out from it. My fear was that whatever infection was in the growth was spreading out into on my bloodstream. Heading towards my heart. I turned my neck and inspected the blackened veins. And then one of them curled in on itself, the blunt end of it touching and stroking against my skin. I tore at it and it came away in my hand. Open mouthed, I looked at it as it lay twitching in my palm. It was about four inches long. It was not a vein. It was some kind of insect leg.

The bile rose up in my throat again but as I tried to vomit into the sink I staggered backwards and fell against the wall. I could feel the other legs wildly tapping and writhing against my flesh. I reached and pulled away another, fighting a revulsion that made me once more vomit down my bare chest. Two came away in my hand. I tried to hurl them away from me but they were so light they only floated down and fell on my leg where they spasmed. I kicked my legs, trying to loose them, and smacked my foot against the cold porcelain of the sink

I sat in a daze. I could feel the feverish movement of the insect-like legs where they emerged from the skin. I could feel their ends dancing on my neck. I felt a sickening lurch of movement in the growth. The pain was intense but it lurked beneath the shock and I was barely conscious of it. I pulled myself to my feet by the edge of the sink. The plaster burst and the sink came a little way away from the wall. I forced myself to look. The growth was still horrifically dark and the black spot near its centre had become larger. The black spot flickered this way and that beneath the bruised and shining skin.

My hand trembled as I reached towards the growth. But I could not bring myself to touch it. My mind raced. Another jolt in my neck and the sound, more a feeling in the tiny bones of the ear than something external, of the flesh and muscles being wrenched and torn settled it in my mind. I went into the kitchen and pulled a knife from the block.

The tiles were freezing against the soles of my feet. The whole living room and kitchenette were horribly cold. The wind whipped outside. I turned on the gas hob with a hand that shook so desperately I could hardly keep the knob depressed. I held the dull blade of the knife to the blue flame with both hands. The smell of scorched metal filled the bitter air. I took the black and slightly smoking knife back into the bathroom.  

Standing before the mirror I drummed my feet on the cold floor. Every muscle in my body was taught and soaked with adrenaline as I tried to summon the courage, or perhaps just the abandon, to take the knife to my flesh. My teeth were set as I watched the insect legs twitching at their points of articulation. I brought the knife slowly towards the growth and tried to plan in what way I would approach this little impromptu surgery. As the hot steel got close to the skin I was seized by a pain that crippled my intent as much as my ability. My hand dropped to my side and the knife dropped from my hand. It clattered and skidded on the tiles with a silver scream.

A scream was more than I could manage. My breath was caught somewhere between my chest and throat. The thrumming light of the bathroom’s single bulb seemed to be pulsing in a spot just behind my eyes. I caught a reflection of those eyes in the mirror. Amongst the chaos and terror and isolation they were the sad, helpless eyes of a child.

A jet of sallow looking blood shot from my neck and began to run down the shower curtain. I looked towards the wet sound it had made with disbelief. A few gouts of more vibrant, circulatory blood dripped on the cold tiles. Small wisps of steam floated up from them in the frigid air. A wrenching feeling in the growth brought me to my knees where my hands slid in more blood. I brought them up to my neck. I could feel it beating against my palms. The legs swishing this way and that, soaked in blood and pus, were still, somehow, the thing that terrified me the most.

 

III

I only screamed once. Something about holding my silence, laying there on the bathroom floor in the depth of a winter night, allowed me to disconnect myself from the reality of what was happening. Who would not scream, after all? But when the thing finally pulled itself loose from my flesh there is nothing of flesh that would not scream. It was the feeling more than the pain, because the pain was instantly lessened. Dialled down from a high pitched whine to a low throb. It was the feeling of the skin unfurling and the pressure, built and then released, as the thing hauling itself out of my body that broke me.

I shuffled away until my back hit the wall. It lay there on the white tile, pushing itself around in an issue of blood and ichor. It made no sound but the tiny maddening sound of its legs skittering on the wet tile as it tried to find purchase. I put my hand to the wound on my neck. There was a trench of flesh there, a hollow, the size of a chicken egg. It was raw and slippery to the touch. But I did not seem to be losing any more blood. Whatever had been growing in there had made itself a little cavern of muscle and sinew away from the other workings.

It picked itself up from the small pool of mucus and filth in which it lay. I got my first proper look at it as it stood on shaky legs that seemed too fine to support its buk. Its body was around the same size as a closed fist, and of the same irregular outline, supported on those thin legs that were like those of a spider or a daddy long legs. It was gelatinous and a mix of pale yellow and blue. The organs and viscera quivered and pulsed within its semi-transparent body. As it turned its eye fell on me. It had only one eye, set in the lower front end of one side of its body. It was like a fishes eye. Or maybe an octopus. A great black pupil within a protruding bulb of a cornea suspended in a clear liquid. The pupil flicked this way and that. Taking my measure. It was like being caught in a terrible black beam. It seemed to pin me to the wall. A hideous shudder went across my shoulder blades. At the onset of the moment it raced across the tiles with frightening speed. It flew past me and out of the bathroom. I jerked my legs away from it in disgust as it passed. Tiny little specks of red blood followed it into the hall.

I sat up against the wall and pulled in a juddering breath. A flash of light brightened the bedroom as a car pulled out of its spot and drove out into the night. My breath floated before me in tiny clouds of vapour. Looking back I imagine I must have been in shock. But the numbness of the fight or flight response being turned in on itself still felt more like life than the months of emotional numbness that had preceded it.

I stepped out into the kitchen, following the breadcrumb trail of blood. I found the thing crouched in the corner. It was smoothing itself down with its insect legs. It reminded me of a fly resting on a window sill. I looked around the room, measuring up what I might use to kill it. I had a very strong urge to kill it. I looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall. It read a quarter to four. Keeping an eye on the strange creature, I gently lifted one of the kitchen chairs. As I drew nearer to it and the shadow of the chair fell across its rolling eye it jerked and scuttled to the opposite corner of the kitchen. Its legs made a tinny patter on the tiled floor. I aimed to crush it under one of the chair legs whilst I had it cornered. My fear was that it would escape out into the rest of the flat. That it might end up under the sofa or the bed. Somewhere that I could not keep my eye on it.

I watched it for a long time. It just sat there cleaning itself. Sometimes its eye would fall on me and the pupil rove all over, judging what I was likely to do. I waited a long time. It was very cold in the room and my fingers and toes were beginning to numb as I stood there in the pair of tracksuit bottoms in which I normally slept. But I did not want to leave it to fetch more suitable clothing. I did not feel as if I could look away from it for a second.

I was waiting for it to turn. For its eye to face away from me. It became apparent that this was not going to happen. Whatever intelligence it possessed (and the extent of this was a gnawing anxiety in the back of my mind) was sufficient that it knew, or sensed, that I was a threat and not to take its eye off me any more than I intended to take my eye from it. There were a handful of loose coins on the table behind me. It was my bus fare for work in the morning. Very delicately, I reached behind and picked up a coin. Weighing it in one hand I placed the other on the back of the chair. I tossed the coin into the kitchen where it struck one of the cabinet doors with a clang.  

The thing whirled round. And it hissed. It hissed like nothing from this Earth. I picked up the chair and lurched towards it. My numbed feet came down like slabs of concrete. I was bringing the chair leg down on it when it turned to face me once more. It raced out from under the descending shadow of the chair leg and brushed against my ankle as it rushed into the living room. In a moment of panic I hurled the chair into its path hoping to crush it or trap it, shouting a curse at it as I did so. It ducked sharply out of the way of the falling chair which clattered on the floor. The sound of feet being planted on the floor in the upstairs flat distracted me and I did not see where the creature hid, though when I looked back it was no longer there.

The chair was still rocking on the wooden floor of the living room. A heavy and deliberate thudding came from upstairs as someone stamped their foot in anger. I could hear muffled but aggressive remonstrations coming through the ceiling. I looked at the clock in the kitchen. It read a quarter past four.

Turning my attention back to the living room I tried to look for a trace that would lead me to where the creature had hidden. Tiptoeing across the room I picked up the chair and set it back in its place at the table. I drummed my feet anxiously on the floor. Perhaps if I could not kill it I could at least get it the hell out of my flat? I wedged open the inner door that led into the small porch before the front door. Then, creeping over to the ceiling to floor windows at the front of the living room I unhooked the latch and pushed the part that opened as wide as it would go. A gust of freezing air pushed me back to where the tiles of the kitchenette met the wooden flooring. I had no idea if it could climb a window. I hoped that it could. And also, very much, that it could not.

I walked over to the TV cabinet. And I kicked the hell out of it. I listened very carefully for the sound of the creature. I went over to the sofa and kicked that, also. Once, twice. Strike three came from upstairs as feet slammed on the floor. I barely noticed. My nerves were pulled tight as piano wires. The freezing air blowing into the flat was turning the anxiety within into a desperate mania. I kicked the TV cabinet again. And this time there was a rustling in the wires at the back.

My breathing was heavy as I backed into the kitchen. I opened the door to the utility cupboard and reached in without taking my eyes from the TV cabinet. I pulled loose the iron. It had a nice weight in my hand. Wrapping the cord around my forearm I went back over to the TV cabinet. I kicked it again. Nothing. I kicked it harder. Still nothing. I reached behind and smashed the back of the cabinet with the flat of the iron. The thing came running out of its hiding place and headed towards the sofa. I hurled the iron at it as it went past. As the iron smashed into the floor, missing its target, an answering volley of banging issued from the front door.

“What the fuck are you doing in there!? Do you know what time it is?”.

I froze, breathing very quickly and very, very quietly. I was quite sure that he must be able to hear the pulse that was beating in my throat.

“Get out here!”.

BANG BANG BANG.

“Get out here, you weird little fucker!”.

The creature could have danced across the floor in a top hat and tails and I’m not sure that I would have noticed. There are alien looking creatures that burst out of your neck in the depth of a winter night and then there are six foot, skinhead psychopaths banging on your door. One of these is a more digestible horror.  

“Don’t fucking let me hear you again!”.

BANG.

Get out”.

I whispered it like a curse but there was just as much of the sad begging of a cur to it.

“Get out!”.

I began to pull out the sofa. As delicately and quietly as one can pull out a three person sofa. The perspective afforded by my terrifying neighbour trying to kick my door down had taken some of the edge off my fear of whatever it was that lurked behind.

But it was gone. I followed the line of the skirting board. There was a large dark rift running down it. Pulling the sofa a little further from the wall, and conscious that the thing should not come skittering out from beneath it, I stepped closer to the dark smear. I reached down. The skirting board came away from the wall with the slightest pressure. The thing had gone inside the walls.

 

IV

I stood back and tried to plot the layout of the walls and floors of the flat. A gust of paralyzing cold came in through the open window and I reached out to pull it shut. I vaguely noticed that the sky was beginning to lighten. The wall which held the cracked skirting board ran up to and met the wall that adjoined the next flat. I found my mobile phone on the table to use its torch. But, stood in the freezing flat in the first doleful light of morning, I made sure to check my messages first.

Pulling back the skirting board with the tips of my fingers I shone the light in as best as I could. A shadow fluttered as some clod of dust or hair was disturbed by a draught within the walls. I dropped the torch and jerked away, swearing under my breath. But there was nothing there. The inside of the wall was alien enough, filled with the husks of insect bodies and flecks of plaster and insulation, but it held nothing more sinister than that. So, it was gone. Now all I had to do was ensure that the point of egress did not become one of ingress.

Searching the flat I found nothing that would do the job. I was beginning to panic. What if it found its way back in whilst the gap was open and unattended? I would need to find a temporary measure. I tried moving the sofa against it but the shape of the arms stopped me from getting it flush to the wall, no matter which way I turned it. None of the kitchen chairs were heavy enough. I caught my dim reflection in the black expanse of the TV screen. The image was of some fish belly-white corpse floating up to the surface of a still lake. She had taken the plasma TV when she left. A friend had lent me the cathode ray relic that now sat on top of the media unit. It had taken the both of us, my friend and I, to get it up to the flat by the single set of stairs.

With the sofa moved and the TV unhooked in the back, I tried to find a good grip on the monolithic hunk of plastic and glass. My knees creaked as I tried to take the first of the weight. I could barely get my arms around the front of it and onto the hand holds on the side. I tried gripping it from above. As I shuffled it towards the edge of the media unit I was extremely conscious that, if it slipped and fell, my feet were likely to be crushed or my toes sliced off by the sharp underside. I got down on my knees in front of the TV. I came face to face with my reflection in the black expanse of glass. The ghoulish figure that stared back at me from what seemed an abyssal depth only inches away was very pale and had its hair in disarray. It was a sick looking creature with dark circles around its eyes. I turned my head and looked at the wound on my neck. In the dim reflection of the TV screen it really didn’t look too bad.

I tried to edge the TV off the unit and cushion its fall against my chest. It was an abysmal failure. The thing toppled off and smashed on the floor as I fell backwards. The crash it made echoed across the disordered room. I heard feet stamp on the ground in the upstairs flat. I sat, frozen, my legs splayed in front of me and all the hairs on them stood on end. The banging upstairs continued for a couple of minutes and a lump built in my throat and choked me to the point where my pulse ran like an animal fleeing a gun. I heard two muffled voices, one raised in fury and one pitying. In time the voices died away.

I dragged and pushed the TV, inch by inch, over to the wall. The front of it sat perfectly against the skirting. I tried to push it with one foot and could not. A wave of relief washed over me. The thing was not getting back in. Not through here. I didn’t give a fuck where it went, as long as it never came back. The brightening sky threw a wan light into the living room. I turned off the overhead bulb and looked in the mirror. The gouged flesh in the side of my neck looked grim in the natural light but the pain had been dialled down to a weak background noise. I would need to get some kind of antiseptic for it on the way back from work. The thought of going to a hospital had been put aside. The clear light of day is worthy of it place amongst the cliches. You don’t walk into an emergency ward and tell a nurse that an existential horror came climbing out of your neck last night. Trust me, you don’t tell fucking anyone.

Looking at the sickening mark that it had left, however, I realized that if I were to avoid it becoming a topic of conversation I was going to need to cover it up. I went into the bedroom and found a sweater with a collar that, when turned up, did an adequate job. It would look a little strange but it would have to do.

The sun fell across the bed and tumbled onto the back of my legs. It was deliciously warm. I would need to set off for work in a couple of hours, there was no use getting any sleep. One usually feels better in the numb, unreality of a day after a sleepless night then one does in the thick torpor of one after a few hours. I sat down on the bed in the broad shaft of sunlight.

I thought, again, about the advert with the desperate polar bear. Forget jazz and forget rock n’ roll, advertising is the great American artform. To take an animal suffering on the wastes and use it to flaunt sugar water is an act of malicious genius. Or perhaps that wasn’t the case at all? Perhaps it was the documentary maker who took inspiration from the advert and used it to further their environmental cause? Maybe I had seen the advert before I had seen the clip of the bear? Maybe the whole thing was a test. Two picture cards set before me to see which one I would react to the most? What do you see? A token of a dying planet. A diet beverage which doesn’t compromise on taste. Were either of them real and who could you believe if they told you which came first? I lay back, only for a second. There was a pain at my temple. Some knot in the vein. I closed my eyes. But only for a second.

 

V

I awoke in blind panic. The midday sun streamed over me. Outside was silence, all the cars and children away at work and school. Groggily I became aware of an alarm sounding from my phone in the other room. And then I felt the light dance of spider-like legs on my throat and the pressure of something pushing, writhing, on my neck. I screamed. It was OK to scream now. I threw myself from the bed tearing at my neck and landed half on the bed and half on my ankle. I screamed again. My fingers dripped with some slick fluid from where I had touched the creature that now lay thrashing on the bed covers. I let out a desperate, anguished moan rubbing at the raw flesh on my neck. The thing had been trying to fucking burrow back in.

Whatever dark and uncertain fear that had smothered me was now torn and ravaged by the white hot light of actual terror. I pulled one end of the blanket and tried to wrap the creature in it. My ankle gave as I lurched forward and my cry was mingled with the sinister hissing of the creature as it saw my intent. It skittered up onto the pillow and turned its grim black eye on me. I grabbed the lamp from the bedside table and, using my good foot, hurled myself towards the thing. It scurried away and down the side of the bed. As I limped after it a web of acid pain flashed in my injured leg.

It was in the living room. It had settled on top of the TV pushed against the wall. Fleetingly I wondered how it had got back in. It could obviously squeeze its strange soft tissue into all manner of tiny apertures. It stood wiping itself with its front legs in that awful vermin-like way that it adopted. All fear had become fury. I was frozen, wounded and on the verge of losing the job that barely kept my head above water. All because this thing, whatever the hell it was, had used me as some kind of host.

Tears of frustration in my eyes. I screamed at the creature in the bland light of that lonely afternoon.

“What do you want? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?”.

And it blinked its black eye. The wet penumbra around its pupil rattled as the lid flicked across the glistening surface. Its legs, like dry witches hair, twitched in disinterested response. The flesh in the side of my neck burned. I limped back into the bedroom and came out with the bedsheet I had torn from the mattress. A couple of cold tears ran down my cheek. I spat on the floor. I I wrapped the sheet around my arm and stepped forward, dragging my numb ankle behind me.

 

VI

The river was low. It had been a cold, dry winter. Thin, brown reeds poked above the surface of the water. As I stood at the railing the road behind me was quiet. I looked to my left and right. The old man who had passed by with only the faintest interest in the occasionally writhing bundled sheet that I was holding was still heading along the pavement. I maneuvered the sheet over the railing, keeping it at arm’s length. Some animal sense in the thing, some smell of fear or predatory intent, awoke and it began to thrash wildly. Further up the road a car’s tyres squealed and its horn blared. I dropped the bundled sheet into the slow but powerful water. And I watched it float beneath the bridge. By the time I had managed to avoid a small stream of traffic and cross the road on my good leg it was only a pale blur rolling on the swell of water and disappearing around the bend in the river.

I got home and collapsed on the askew sofa. The whole room was in turmoil; the TV overturned and tiny shards of glass leaking from within. The table was overturned and cigarette butts littered the floor from where an ashtray had been hurled. I took the cigarettes from my jacket and tore the cellophane loose from the packet with my teeth. My heart was racing but I could not identify the feeling that made it run. My mind was a mess of unfinished thoughts reeling around in gales of vague anxiety and elation. The flat smelled of stale smoke, vomit and the remains of the cold night air. My hand shook as I brought the cigarette to my lips. I became aware of the ticking of the kitchen clock as its insect twitches sounded steadily between the chaotic thumping of my heart. It was half past two. I looked at my phone on the kitchen table.

It was half past three before I had concocted an excuse for not being at work that seemed reasonable. They were not interested. I was advised that I was being issued with a final warning. As the evening drew in around five I turned on the heating. I turned on the lights. I ordered takeaway and dropped three Tramadol for a warm and gooey dessert. It was glorious to be warm and fed and comfortable, all at once, for the first time in several months. I was exhausted but happy. I could go back to work tomorrow and make amends. Perhaps I could find a cheaper place, a flat share maybe? There was something about the terrible events of the last twenty four hours that made me feel a strange optimism. My life had seemed to be circling the drain for a while now, surely this was the final vicious bump? I could rebuild something now. And I had had a unique experience. Something significant. Surely providence would oblige me for meeting this test of character? This is how the human mind works. It believes in the narrative and the Hero’s Journey. I went to bed and dreamt that my brain crawled out of my skull and climbed the bedroom wall on legs of vertebral arteries where it lurked on the ceiling, watching me as I slept.

 

VII

I did not awake until the noon the next day. And I never made it out of bed until around three A.M the following morning. I dragged myself from the covers still in the depth of a fever so great that it had destroyed my senses. I tasted fever and saw fever and heard fever roar like a crippled beast. I crawled across the floor. Actually crawled across the floor on my stomach. It doesn’t sound real, like something you’d see only on television, but that was all I had the strength to do. I crawled through the dust in the doorway like an animal dragging itself to water. I managed to pull myself up to reach the phone that I had, in my pride and indulgence, left on the table the night before. Its battery was dead and I plugged it into the charger. I slumped back against the couch and waited.

The phone came on in time and all the little lights blinked as a slew of missed calls came in. There was a message informing me that I had been left a voicemail. And the voicemail spoke through the fog and smoke of fever and, in muffled tones, told me that I must attend a disciplinary the following day. At three A.M, rinsed with sweat and racked with ague; that day was today. The floor was cool and I lay my cheek against it. It felt good to sleep and know that there was nothing waiting for you in the morning.

I kept the windows open and I kept the wound clean. I walked around the flat wrapped in a blanket. The cold was bitter. I took the mirror down but I knew what was left in its surface. A shrouded figure stumbling to the window and back. Its skin as thin and sallow as isinglass. Sometimes muttering or breaking into tears. Sometimes calm. All too fucking calm.

I waited for it to come back. I would sell it on. Or I could tell a journalist and show him my proof. Someone would pay money for this unique creature. They would want to cut it up and figure it out. It would come back if I waited. I didn’t have all the time in the world, but I had some time. I lay down on the floor and closed my eyes against the cold. It belonged to me, this crawling, ugly and unkind thing that fed. If I waited it would come. And I would be saved.  

 

Trace

onehundredandseventyfour.jpg

I

Roy Buchman sat bolt upright with his legs crossed at the ankle. A brass ashtray stand stood on the floor just at the full reach of his arm. Each time he went to knock the ash from his cigarette he uncrossed his feet and sat forward with them placed flat on the thick, pea green carpet. Each time he sat back he hitched his pants at the knees and crossed his ankles once more. The crease in his grey trousers was as sharp as any line on the wood panelling, he observed, and pulled at his cigarette with satisfaction.

At the desk in front of him was Donovan’s secretary. She wore a sleeveless, green dress dotted with a pink flower pattern. Her auburn bob was as smooth as a mushroom cap. Her eyes were down on the typewriter before her,  Roy watched them flick back and forth like tiny birds flitting between telephone wires. He gauged how quickly they moved and found it agreeably human. The intercom on the desk buzzed and she flicked the receiver on, barely skipping a beat at the typewriter keys.

“Valery, Mr. Buchman is waiting I assume?” said the voice from the intercom.

“Yes, Mr. Donovan”.

She said it without looking up.

“Send him in” said the voice.

Roy smiled at Valery who continued to rattle out words on the typewriter without looking back at him. He cleared his throat gently and was afforded a little more time to wait as his reward. The sound of typing slowed down like a train chugging into a station. As the return key was stuck and the typewriter chimed Valery’s face broadened into a sweet smile. She looked up and aimed it at Roy.

“Mr. Donovan will see you now” she said.

Roy was getting to his feet as her arm appeared from behind the grand, engine-like typewriter to gesture towards the door. His eyes followed the line of slender, pink flesh to where it abruptly junctioned into a burnished copper claw. He froze, half risen. The hand turned slowly upward from the pivot at the wrist  The tiny bronze pistons and silver levers shone in the light of the office. Roy stood up fully and smiled back at Valery as her other hand reached,  very slowly, from behind the desk and came to rest on its edge. The metallic fingers, like the links in a bicycle chain, drummed lightly on the wood.   

Facing the door, his hand on the knob, he heard the typing strike up again. The speed at which the keys rattled sent a little chill down between his shoulder blades. It sounded like a Tommy gun.

 

II

“Roy, good to see you! Have a seat”.

“Mr. Donovan”.

“How many times? Mr. Donovan was my old man, call me Art”.

“Sorry, Art”.

“Ah, have a seat” a segmented, metal pipe of an arm, ending in a steel pincer, motioned him to sit down.

The couch facing Donovan was ice cold calfskin leather. Roy perused the framed drawings that adorned almost every inch of the wood paneled walls. All Art’s work, or so he would say. He probably hadn’t picked up a pencil in 30 years for anything but a quick sketch in front of the TV cameras. But this was still his work. After all, he paid a steady wage.

With one leg across the thigh of the other Roy drummed a foot up and down in the air as he waited for Donovan to speak. He winced internally for the thoughtless action and, as expected, Donovan’s head turned to where the girl in the corner of the room was quietly preparing the coffee. He paid a steady wage to acquire a steady schedule. His scowl was one of fatherly-disappointment.

Roy took this opportunity to admire the horror that stood before him. The face was strong and the hair was meticulously pomaded and combed. The pencil moustache could have been drawn in by the steady hand of any of the inkers who worked for the company, such was its rectitude. The head sat, like a baseball on a young boys dresser, on top of a console the size of a bank manager’s desk. Green and gold, polished to a dazzling sheen, it reminded Roy of those cans of olive oil one saw in Italian restaurants but on a grander scale. Magnetic tape reels span, shiny toggle switches stood to attention and banks of little electric lamps shone all across the face of it. The arms that came out of the side hung loose until needed at which point they coiled and flexed in the air like metal pythons, their servo motors hissing.

The girl carried the two cups of coffee across the room before, realizing she had forgotten something, setting them both down on the corner of the the console. The head glared at her through the rising steam until she returned with a small stand that she placed in front of the console, setting one cup of coffee on top of that and handing the other to Roy.

“Will there be anything else, Art?”.

The head turned slowly this and way and that in response. The grinding noise was either the gears in the console or the teeth inside the head, it was difficult to tell. The young girl left the room, closing the door indelicately behind her.

“Her father? The President. And you wonder how we got into this goddamn mess!”.

“You’re kidding?” said Roy.

“Started last week. He said he felt safer having her out of the White House and in the park instead. I should give him a job on one of the milkshake stands!”.

Roy sipped his coffee. One of the mechanical arms reached down to grasp the cup before it. It closed on it with the slow ferocity of a shark’s jaws under the water.

Donovan’s head smiled.

“So, what can I do for you, Roy?”.

Roy put down his coffee.

“I have some good news”.

“Some good news?”, one of the eyebrows arched.

“Well, no, I mean…. Something’s happened”.

With exaggerated slowness the arm drew the small coffee cup up and towards Donovan’s head. After having taken a delicate sip he brushed down his moustache with his lower lip as the arm, whirring gently, returned the cup to the table. Roy picked up his own cup and took a deep draught of the coffee. He put down his cup and hitched his pants slightly at the knee, staring down at the fine crease in the material. The crease would make everything OK.

“So, what can I do for you, Roy?” said Donovan.

“There’s been an accident in the park”.

Donovan’s brows drew together.

“Jesus. Was anyone hurt?”.

“I’m afraid so. One of the engineers was working on the FreedomCoaster. There was a mix up at the signal box. He’s dead, Art”.

“My god”.

The head lowered its head. The eyes were closed. Roy remembered one of the early films. A cartoon fox had made just the same gesture when its mother had been caught and shot by a hunter. He found himself waiting for a perfect shimmering tear to escape from the corner of an eye.

“Who was it?” Donovan said quietly.

“Erikson”.

“The Swede? Big guy; blonde?”.

The eyebrow once more tried to meet the ceiling but then lowered itself in respect of the situation.  

Roy took another sip of his coffee. He took out his pack of cigarettes and offered one to Donovan.

“Thank you. If you wouldn’t mind?”.

A claw twitched by the side of the console. Roy went over and placed a cigarette between the rough steel pincers, closing them softly on it. The arm whirred and brought the cigarette up to Donovan’s mouth where Roy lit it. As he stood in front of the console a slopping, sloshing noise like clothes being turned in a washtub came from within. The coffee going down. Roy looked up at Donovan, their faces barely apart. The head beamed a benevolent smile as if trying to cover the sound.

“Have we informed the family?” Donovan asked.

“Yes, I believe a cable was sent this morning”.

Donovan delicately wiped his lip against the corner of a pincer to dislodge a speck of tobacco that was lodged there.

“Will they be travelling to procure the body?”.

Roy swallowed hard.

“Given the nature of the times, and the injury, I thought it best that they be informed that the body was, uh, irrevocable. It seemed the kinder thing to do”.

“No use burdening their conscience or, indeed, upsetting their memories of the boy without cause, is there?” said Donovan.

Roy finished his coffee and swirled the grains in the bottom of the cup. He hovered by the table, unsure whether to proffer a parting handshake. Donovan gave the subtlest of nods that told him to leave without doing so. He had gotten to where he was by knowing how to herd sentiment and propriety as if they were sheep. As Roy was leaving Donovan called to him.

“The park’s safety records, Roy, what is being done about them?”.

He turned and watched the little pinprick head on top of its desk of gears and engines tilt slightly to one side.

“Umm, I hadn’t thought, Sir”.

“Art, please”.

“I suppose…” Roy trailed.

“I’d hate our reputation to be tarnished. Damnit, hundreds of people pass through these gates every day and we’ve never had a guest walk away with anything worse than his cheeks aching from the laughs he’s had. Given the nature of the accident and all…”.

“You’re right. The equipment is quite sound. It wasn’t even really the guy in the control boxes fault”.

“It wouldn’t be accurate to keep record of this kind of thing, if you ask me. It’s not a true reflection. I pride myself on the safety of this park” said Donovan.

“No. I’ll make sure people get the right view of things”.

The face lit up. Like a cartoon fox upon whom the light of the forest has fallen or a princess gazing into the eyes of her charming suitor for the first time. That was the tragedy of it. In spite of the mechanical nightmare of a body, the face was still so animated.

 

III

Roy walked across the park and back to his office. He felt the heat of the midday sun upon the bare patch on the crown of his head. He’d left his hat on the coat stand in the office. Donovan hated hats. A thin haze of dust hung in the air and the janitors with their brooms and pans worked like ants in the bleached light. Family groups wandered the paths and sidewalks, the bottoms of their shoes pale with the dust. Many of the kids had no shoes and they jumped in one anothers footprints playing some catch game they had brought with them from the sand farms.

He stopped and sat on a bench in the shade of a poplar. Looking up at the light filtering through the branches and teardrop leaves he wondered how Donovan had missed this one. The benches had all been placed in the glare of the sun, the angles had all been calculated. People who wanted to take shade could find it in the nearest ice cream parlour or gift shop.

He saw a couple heading towards him. Their slack jaws and eyes like dish plates told him that they had come from the park entrance. Before them lay the white picket fences, stencilled windows of malt shops and tin signs hawking gas and BBQ that they had come for. Of course there were also the rides; The FreedomCoaster, the Davy Crockett, the Haunted Townhouse. Thrills for less than a buck. Much less, now.

Whilst, before, people had come to be thrilled and scared, now they had as much of that at home as they were fit to handle. Today they came for the apple pie shaped slice of Americana that the park had previously delivered as an afterthought. They came for one last look at what the world was like before the bombs fell. The couple passed the bench and never even noticed him. Their eyes were fixed on the parasol of a stand selling fresh doughnuts, globs of batter glistening with grease and matte with powdered sugar, that sat further down the path. Their grey and frayed clothes billowed in the warm, dusty air.

Back in his office Roy put his feet up on the desk and opened the paper. Russian cosmonauts breach Earth atmosphere – what will they bring back? was the lead on page three. Ideas put forward included space virii, alien technology and detailed reconnaissance photos of each and every American domicile, missile installation and military base. He closed the paper and tossed it back onto the desk. He buzzed through to his secretary and ordered some lunch. When she came in 15 minutes later with his sandwich and a glass of milk he fixated on her wonderful pink hands as they set down the tray. He had an overwhelming urge to reach out and take them into his own hands, to feel their warmth.

“Thank you, Carol” he said, and the syrupy tone in his voice made her look at him askance.

“Is it real tuna?” he asked.

“Sorry, sir, no new shipment ’til the end of the month”.

She closed the door behind her and he peeled back the dry bread. The flakes of NearTuna were pink and brittle looking. He didn’t even like the real thing that much and he could swear that this substitute was getting worse by the year. Still, he found himself craving the things that he couldn’t have. The Japs controlled tuna. ‘We shoulda nuked them when we had the chance’ he thought. He bit into the sandwich and grimaced. It tasted metallic. He wondered if the boys in the canteen where fitted with the same ultra efficient metal appendages that Donovan’s secretary had had grafted. And that was another thing that the world could have lived without if they hadn’t let the Nips go on to conjure them up. Personally, he could live without any of that robot crap. He forced down half his lunch and chased it with his anti-rad medication and the glass of milk. The milk was heat treated. He pressed the intercom.

“Did they have any pie?” he asked Carol.

“I think so, Sir”.

“What sorts?”.

“Uhm, AlmostApple and Cherry”.

“Real cherry?”

“Yes, sir” he could hear her smiling at the excitement in his voice. “Would you like me to fetch you some?”.

“No. Nevermind”.

He’d never liked cherry pie.

 

IV

The next summons to Donovan’s office came a few days later. Roy ambled over on a rare drizzly day wrapped in his chemically treated macintosh. The rain was not something that you wanted on your skin. The park was practically empty despite the tickets being half price if bought at the entrance whilst rain fell. He walked down Main Street, the primary thoroughfare, and found one of the mascots sheltering in front of a shopfront under a green canvas awning.

He was never sure whether to acknowledge these things or not. Half of them were men in suits and half of them were automata and there was no way, at least that he had found, to tell which were which at a distance. It wouldn’t matter for long. The ratios were tipping towards the automata steadily enough. He assumed that this one, shying away from the adverse weather, must be human but, then again, the other kind were probably programmed to get out of the acidic downpour so as to save on the repair costs. He placed his faith in real cherry pie and tall glasses of fresh milk and waved to this, one of twelve incarnations of Washington the Happy Rabbit that roamed the park at any one time.

Washington waved back. Roy went over and stepped under the awning, taking out his cigarettes. He offered one to Washington and Washington waved it away with a large, white gloved hand.

“Miserable day, isn’t it?”.

Washington nodded his head and his happy, floppy ears bobbed up and down before his large, round eyes.

“Sorry? It’s a bit muffled”, said Roy.

The rabbit pointed to its head, pointed to the opened sky and shrugged his shoulders.

Roy laughed.

“Best place to be on a day like this is inside one of those suits, I reckon”.

The drizzle pattered in the flower beds in front of them. A siren went off in the distance, a dull whine, and they both looked out to where the sound came from. It was shut off abruptly and Roy breathed a sigh of relief that let out a thinned plume of grey smoke.

“Just a test” he said.

Washington stared ahead, contemplatively.

Out of the haze of rain a figure came walking down Main Street. As it drew nearer, Roy saw that it was another Washington. This one was soaked, the water dripped from the end of it’s long whiskers and glistened in its sodden fur. It strolled along quite unperturbed by the downpour. Roy glanced at the Washington by whose side he stood and saw no interest or anticipation. This second Washington drew nearer.

An unpleasant feeling crept across Roy’s shoulder blades like damp in the bones. He became aware of a strong conviction that, in the face of any odds, no man was beneath the both of these costumes. He was either watching one of those things walk in his direction. Or else he was waiting alone in the rain, shooting the breeze with one of them. The idea that, perhaps, neither, was a man and that he was alone in the abandoned park with only these machines was the idea that made his throat knot.  

The soaked rabbit came level with where he and the other stood. He waited with bated breath for some sign. He pictured it stopping and turning to stare at him. He pictured the other making the same move, seeing his reflection in its glassy, black eye. He felt as if he could hear each pinprick of rain hammering on the paved street and running into its grooves, roaring like a cascade.

The Washington that walked in the rain did turn, but only so that it could flip the two of them the middle finger. As he watched its cotton tail bobbing away into the distance he turned to the happy rabbit by his side. It did not turn to face him. Its glassy black eyes did not fall on him like a shadow coming down. It just stared ahead into the rain. 

Hesitantly he stepped out onto Main Street, watching the mascot from the corner of his eye. The large white, fairytale castle in the distance at the end of Main Street seemed pregnant with menace.  When he had got halfway down the street he looked back over his shoulder. Washington was still stood there beneath the awning. His nerves were pulled tight. It was perhaps only a trick of the failing light but as he turned away he imagined he saw it move and he broke out into a run. He only slowed to a walk as he came within sight of Donovan’s office.

 

VI

He heard voices beyond the door that led into the reception area. He recognized one as Valery, the secretary with the hands that could crush hot coals. There was also the voice of the girl with the coffee. The President’s daughter, Donovan had said. It went to show how revered the park had become in an age of ruined atmosphere and uncertain martial stalemate. He couldn’t remember her name. The other two voices were male and he did not recognize them.

“So, is it all, like, wires and stuff inside?” said the President’s daughter.

One of the male voices laughed pleasantly.

“It’s like a lightbulb. There’s a metal screw cap underneath. You just turn it and off it pops!”.

“No!?” came the reply.

“That’s right. We placed a divot with a matching thread in the torso and moved him from one to the other. Just like a lightbulb, as I said. You could even do it!”.

He laughed again.

“So I could be a brain surgeon?” she squealed.

“You’d be the cutest one I ever met, if so!” said the other unidentified voice.

Roy rapped on the door with the back of his hand and pushed it open. Four perturbed faces looked back at him.

“Mr. Buchman” said Valery.

“Hello. Sorry to interrupt, I have a meeting with Art”.

It was useless to prove that he was on first name terms with the boss. Everyone was, whether they liked it or not.

Valery went to the rolodex on her desk, the metal fingers separating out the sheaves with machine like precision.

“Buchman, is it? I’m Dr. Aaronson. This is Dr. Gauss”.

Roy shook hands with them both. The President’s daughter excused herself with a mutter and slipped into the office itself. Valery continued to flick through the rolodex. Aaronson smiled awkwardly at him whilst Gauss stared with a chill, clinical look. Roy felt like he was being sized up for “refit” as they called it. They both looked very young to be doctors. They were certainly younger than he was. But this was the way of things, now. Engineer and Doctor had become entwined branches coming out of the same trunk and the cutting edge was occupied by the young.

“Ah, here we go” said Valery.

“Try not to excite him too much,” said Aaronson “he’s still recovering”.

“He invited me” Roy retorted.

“It’s a serious change. He’s experiencing a very different level of ability and he might get carried away. Go beyond his limits. Try to moderate him”.

Roy looked scornfully from Aaronson to the icy glare of Gauss and went into the office.

“Roy!”

Roy’s lips moved but no sound issued forth. What stood before him, its hand outstretched, was consuming all the mental acuity he possessed. Six foot tall and so broad that the shirt was bulging and pinched as it struggled to contain the body, this was the new Art Donovan, nee Eriksson.

They shook hands and Roy’s bones felt as if they slid out of alignment in the grip of the solid, workmanlike fingers.

“So, what do you think?” Art beamed, grasping him by the shoulders and pushing him to arms length.

“It’s… you’ve never looked better, Sir”,

“Art! And I was talking about the parade, damnit, Roy? Did you not get the memo?”.

“My secretary just said I was to come over”.

“Tssk, that girl would forget her head. You need me to arrange an upgrade?”.

“No, Sir, that’s.. sorry, Art…. that’s quite unnecessary. I’ll have a word with her”.

“Where’s that coffee?” Donovan barked at the girl in the corner, the President’s daughter. But the bark contained none of the usual sugared contempt. In fact it was quite good natured. This was the old Art, the father figure bouncing his employees on his knee and scolding them warmly when they sicked up. Whilst his head was turned Roy looked to where the steel monolith of a console had previously sat. There was a broad rectangle of carpet barely half a shade darker than the rest. It would soon be replaced. The old Art was a stickler for the details.

The girl brought over the coffee and they took their seats as she sidled out of the room. Roy was, once more, on the calfskin sofa. He felt gooseflesh break out on the underside of his thighs from the cold leather. Donovan sat in a huge new high backed chair drawing on a cigarette held between thumb and index finger.

“So, this parade, then” he said.

“Everything is in place, as usual. I think one of the floats needs a new axle but we can make do”.

“No, no, no” Donovan said, waving the cigarette back and forth in the air. “This isn’t the standard Friday evening parade. I want something extra. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about”.

“How do you mean?”.

“Extra!” Donovan spat the word like two barrels being discharged in one pull. He stubbed the half smoked cigarette and drank off the coffee. His bottom lip came up to wipe down the moustache and he took a deep, quiet breath. Roy’s mind geared up to take in what was coming and retain it. He was familiar with the signals that signified a vision about to be outlined. He was less familiar with the sound of shirt seams popping as muscles bulged against them.

“I want the parade we had three years ago” he said with a slick smile.

“The Thanksgiving one?”.

Donovan didn’t reply. The pause had been for emphasis, not to invite questions.

“I want the kind of parade we had three years ago. I want a crowd so deep that that you can’t make out the faces of the ones at the back. I want floats that just keep coming. I want a marching band at the front and the rear. I want a fireworks display, I want to see the lights shining on their faces and I want that red, white and blue starburst we used to have at the end. I want the silence that follows. And I want the applause as the national anthem strikes up. Roy, I want my park back, damnit!”.

Roy shifted on the sofa and the gooseflesh returned. But it wasn’t from the cold leather and it wasn’t from the vision.

“I want that too, Art. We all do. But…”

“But what?” he picked up the pack of cigarettes angrily and wrenched one from the soft packaging. He lit it, his eyes boring through Roy’s skull.

“Why not? Give me one good reason”.

Roy could think of about ten.

“Well, the fireworks for a start. We’re not supposed to use them anymore, they interfere with the missile warning systems. I’m not sure we even have any that would still ignite”.

Donovan blew smoke as if he were blowing away the issue.

“We’ll buy more”.

“Where from, Art? No-one makes them anymore. The factories they made them in are munitions factories now”.

“Mexico. We’ll buy them in Mexico”.

Ah, Mexico. The answer was always Mexico. He wondered, momentarily, if he might be able to get tuna brought in from Mexico.

“We don’t have the kind of resources we had then” he retorted.

“No, we just don’t exercise them” replied Donovan, “It’s this damn war, it drags everyone’s dreams down to the gutter. If war is even what is still going on. Who the hell even knows anymore, the government runs the damn papers. I can’t make anything but propaganda films. That might have been OK back in the forties, for a time, but who knows when this thing will end? Again, if it’s even still going? This park is my world now. And I’m not going to let it get dragged down with the rest of the world. I built it to exist outside of the world, better than the real world.”.

Roy finished his coffee. He wanted to light another cigarette but did not want to tie himself any further to the conversation.

“I’ll… see what can be done”.

Donovan stood up with him and walked him to the door. There, he opened it for him and placed a broad, firm hand on his shoulder.

“I feel like a new man, Roy. I can’t explain it. You’ve always been my go-to-guy. Make this happen for me. For all of them. They deserve a better world, even if it’s just for one day”.

Roy stepped into the outer office and Donovan closed the door behind him with a smile. Valery was rattling away at the keys on the typewriter. She didn’t look up. She held up the metal claws and, as if she were flexing her wrists  from the strain, they span in rapid 360 motions from where they attached at the wrists, whirring like a kitchen blender. She flexed them back and forth and went back to her typing. He was stepping out the door when he heard Donovan come through on the intercom.

“Valery, get me the President on the phone”.

“What has she done now?” Valery said, without stopping her typing.

“No, not for that” came the reply.

 

VII

It was Friday morning when Roy Buchman woke, slumped forward over his desk and with his head cradled in his arms. A cup of coffee steamed weakly on the corner of the desk. He listened for the patter of typewriter keys in the small outer office that Carol occupied. He rubbed his eyes and took up the coffee, collapsing back in the chair. He reached for the cigarettes in the pocket of his jacket which hung over the back of his chair. He had slept abominably and this would be the only moment of rest he would get for the whole day. One cigarette and one cup of coffee. As he smoked and drank he tried to pick at and pull the threads of a lingering dream he had had during the night.

In it he had been running down a dark and deserted highway. His pursuer was some grunting, growling something with eyes that shone in piercing rays. As the light fell on him, throwing his twitching shadow into view like a portent of death, he would move this way and that to escape its gaze. Sometimes he would feel as if he had outrun it but then the light would fall again on his outstretched hands. Eventually his desperate run turned into the lope of some animal. He found his hands on the asphalt, his nails digging into it by a strange dream logic. Pushing forwards with his legs and hauling himself along with his arms. He could not remember if he had escaped the clutches of the force that stalked him from the shadows.

He stepped into the outer office. The fan was running and the window was ajar. Carol smiled at him from behind her small desk.

“Thanks for the coffee” he said.

“I figured you might need it” she said handing him a ream of papers with a pained look on her face.

“I got as much done as I could but this it what’s still outstanding”.

He flicked through the papers by their corner. Names and times of calls and a never ending list of demands and problems flew out at him like ink whipped from the tip of a fountain pen. He blinked away the fog from his brain.

“Can it be done?” he asked Carol, “Am I being dumb to even try?”.

There wasn’t a kind answer and Carol offered him a smile of solidarity in lieu.

“Oh , before you go” she said as he was stepping out of the door and handed him a brown paper bag rolled over at the top.

“It’s real tuna” she said with pride.

“Thank you”.

He was pathetically grateful.

“And there’s a slice of cherry pie tucked in there as well. For if you get a break for coffee”.

“What would I do without you?” he said.

The ribbons on the fan shimmered like minnows in a stream.

Outside the heat struck him with pleasant force. The sky was a painted blue. Dense white clouds looked as if they had been drafted in from one of Donovan’s idyllic cartoon worlds. He could hear the thrum of the crowds and the drunken, undulating fairground music in the distance. He had asked Donovan, pleaded, that they close the park for the day whilst they prepared. But no, that wouldn’t do at all – there had to be a showreel before the main feature.  

He spent the day chasing workmen, contractors and foremen through the heaving crowds of tourists. He moved between offices, on and off phones and between sites. It was like trying to sort grains of sand on a beach as the tide ebbed and flowed. The parade was going to run through virtually the whole park, ending on Main Street.

The evening was drawing in and he was practically falling asleep in the chair of one of the lean tos when the telephone rang. He had to clear away piles of paper and blueprints to get to the rattling phone.

“Hello?”.

“I want to speak to Roy Buchman”.

It was Donovan.

“Speaking, Art”.

“Roy? You sound like you’ve been swilling gravel”.

“No, no. Just been busy at it”.

“Good, good. How are we looking?”.

“Pretty much there”.

He looked to the scattered papers as if they would provide an answer to the question he was awaiting.

“How much is pretty much?”.

“We have the fireworks” he ventured.

“Damnit, Roy”.

The dramatic pause. The prince snatching the princess from the clutches of the wicked witch.

“You’re a goddamn genius! Where are you going to be watching the parade from?”.

He wondered. Once the parade was underway there was little use in trying to control it any further. He had men for that. Perhaps it would be better if he abandoned any futile dreams of control and tried to enjoy the thing? Against all odds they had pulled the pieces together. It was going to be a hell of a show.

“I might see if Pine would allow me to watch from his office”.

“Nonsense, take the box on Main Street. You’ve earned it. We’ve really put something together here”.

“But what about you?”.

Donovan chuckled. Coming down the decaying copper line the sound had a sinister echo.

“You’ll see” he said.

 

VII

Settled in the box atop the bleachers from which Donovan would ordinarily observe the parade, Roy watched the gnats and moths jostle and crowd around the globe lamps that lined Main Street, smashing themselves against the gentle light. The night was comfortably warm, the heat from the day’s sun caught and seeping from the asphalt. The crowds were as dense as Donovan had wished for. Crammed together like canned fish the mass of bodies shuffled with a mix of discomfort and excitement. The queues to get into the park that morning had stretched around the perimeter. Those who were inside now had plenty of experience. He looked up to a sky that was the dark, soft blue of crushed velvet. The bold clouds of the morning had melted into thin, creamy wisps of vapour. Not a star could be seen.

The lights appeared on the horizon and a ripple of excitement came down the lines of people. As the cheering and clapping and murmurs of anticipation died away the first distant notes of the marching band floated in on the light breeze.

The band stomped past, the hammering of their feet falling into step with the beat of the drums. The trumpets, trombones and flutes piped the great American and period standards in and amongst the whoops and clapping of the massed crowds. Immediately behind the band Washington the Happy Rabbit skipped along the asphalt. The whites of the children’s eyes shone like tiny moons as he waved his huge, gloved paws to each side of the crowd. He looked up and waved both arms back and forth, encompassing the whole bleachers. It was cheery gesture but, the face dead and unmoving as it was, it had the horrible afterimage of a man drowning.

Roy watched from the box atop the bleachers with a tightness in his throat. Washington raised his head, just a fraction, and his waving stopped. The noise of the crowd and the band seemed to drop away as Roy looked into the rabbit’s deep, dark plastic eyes. He heard a rain that wasn’t there. The sound of the parade came screaming, jerkily, back into his consciousness as Washington turned his head and skipped on, reaching down to hold out his hand to a grinning and grasping child.

It was everything that Donovan had dreamed of. Some of the costumes were a little threadbare, some of the floats not as luxuriously decorated as in days gone by, but the effect was as close to the real thing as it was possible to get. It was a million years from NearTuna, that was for damn sure! Roy wondered, with a tinge of disappointment, why Donovan wasn’t here to see it all going on. As the floats chugged past the rumble of their engines and the faint smell of diesel made him smile, they were proof positive of his success. Donovan would, as always, absorb the credit, distancing himself from the awareness of the hundreds of people involved other than himself. But that was OK. That was Art. The father who knew that his children’s achievements were his own.

The parade was dying down though the crowd had lost none of their enthusiasm. Roy could hear the strains of the marching band that brought up the rear becoming apparent. He saw the final float break the horizon. The fairytale castle behind them glowed with angelic light from the floodlights pointed up at it. He lit a cigarette and watched the crowd as he waited.

The women were dressed in faded print dresses, tattered around the hem. The men wore suits that shone with wear along the limp creases. The children wore whatever had been thrown together that presented them in the best light. Few carried lunch pails. Many would have spent what they might otherwise have spent on food for a day or more for the whole family’s entrance to the park. But they all seemed happy with their trade of bread for the circus.

The final float rumbled by. This was the one that Roy really wished Donovan had been here to see. It was Washington’s Happy House. A log cabin around which the flowers and woodland creatures frolicked. Each autonomous element whirled or chirped or bounced with gay abandon. The pianola housed inside plinked out its cheery melody. Washington himself, or at least one of his twelve manifestations, tossed candies and party favours into the crowds as he danced. WIth the music and automation and the sheer size and weight of the house the thing practically drank gasoline. It hadn’t been included in a parade since the start of the war for this reason. They had had to go further afield than Mexico to get it running. Some of the things they had had to do would not necessarily have been approved of by The President. Roy was relieved that he had pulled out of attending at the last moment. The amount of black smoke that the float coughed into the summer night would doubtless have drawn a few questions.

As Washington’s float moved past, Roy ground his cigarette into the wooden boards. Something wasn’t quite right. The marching band that brought up the rear of the parade should have followed Washington’s float. Roy looked down Main Street in the direction from whence the parade had come. He could hear the marching band but the music was still faint. He sighed. After all the trouble they’d taken the marching band had lost their cue and were out of sync with the rest of the parade. It wasn’t a fall at the final hurdle as such, only a stumble really, but it was an annoyance. He wondered how Donovan would react.

 

VIII

He jumped as the firework exploded in the air. He had been so engaged in thought that he had not seen the bright shell go up. His shoulders lurched when the light fell on his face and the report sounded. All at once the band struck up a louder tune and the first glimmers of light, reflecting off the twirling batons and polished instruments, appeared on the brow of Main Street.

Every face in the crowd turned to watch as the marching band, twice the size of the one that had begun the parade, made their way down the asphalt towards them. A gargantuan float followed close behind. Each foot was on the tip of its toes, all eyebrows raised to see above the head of those standing in front. Each face was wide eyed in anticipation and wonder. All except that of Roy Buchman. He could guess exactly what was rumbling towards them.

The float was truly gigantic. Adorned with prints of Donovan’s early artwork and festooned with lights, the bolts in the bleachers seemed to rattle as it drew near. A statuette of Washington the Rabbit, nearly twenty foot tall, saluted the crowds from a plinth at the rear of the float. Donovan stood before it wearing a suit that looked like some cross between a magician’s outfit and a circus master’s top and tails. He roared greetings to the cheering crowds as the marching band, coming up on the rear of the float, played medleys of tunes from his films. The thick tendons in his muscular neck bulged as he waved emphatically to each man and woman as if they were old friends.

Roy watched on in astoundment and admiration. He wondered how Donovan had got it together on his own? He realized that a small coterie of park staff, conspicuously absent in the previous few days, must have had a hand in it. That, after all, was Uncle Art. He wanted it to be a surprise for as many of his children as possible, even the ones on the payroll. Roy was lighting another cigarette and smiling a contented smile to himself when the first batch of fireworks went up and the first rain of mortars came down.

The sky lit up with cobalt flares of colour. The crowds eyes were all upturned. The fiery trials of the bombs were lost amongst the bursts of red and silver and blue. It was only when a shell came down on on one of the shops along Main Street, sending red brick flying and the dirt from the flowerbeds skittering across the ground, that the cheering turned into shocked and desperate screams.

The cigarette dropped from Roy’s mouth as, in the terrible drawn out silence that followed, he heard the hushed whine of another shell. He never truly recognized whether it was of a firework ascending to burst or a mortar descending to burn because his feet had already carried him up and over the back of the bleachers and the rest was a blur of noise and the reek of smoke as he lay winded in the dirt.

When he found himself again he had his arm around Donovan’s broad shoulders, desperately trying to haul the hulk of a man through the bloodied and deranged crowd. Fires roared all around and dense clouds of choking smoked filled the air. Everywhere there was the hellish sound of the injured moaning and their relatives screaming in despair. The sounds of mortars exploding came from both near and far. The whole park was being annihilated.

Donovan was rooted to the spot, his face turned to the sky. Roy glanced upward and caught a glimpse of what so enraptured him. The tiny grey smear of a plane against the gleaming moon. He tasted blood in the back of his throat. Only for the light of the moon he caught a pinprick of black fall from the plane and shoot across the white surface.

“Art!” he screamed.

Another mortar shook the ground.

“Art!”.

Donovan stared blankly back at him as the next round burst. They both looked towards the sound. The castle that stood at the head of Main Street was enveloped in a cloud of black smoke in which the amber glow of fire burned at the core. From out of the cloud came tumbling one of the huge turrets which slid and tumbled to smash on the ground below. A plume of debris erupted up into the air.

“We have to go!” Roy yelled.

And, like a child led by the hand, Donovan began to follow with stumbling steps. His eyes, all the time, on the castle collapsing in on itself.

 

IX

Roy Buchman sat bolt upright on the army cot. The floor of the bunker was linoleum lined over concrete and he could feel the cold seeping up through the soles of his shoes. He looked to the dark hallway that led into the storage room and then back to the two toned wall ahead of him. The top half was the colour of souring milk and the bottom half a seaweed green. The understanding that this would be his surroundings for what would perhaps be the remainder of his life, again, crept at the corners of his mind but was turned away once more.

On the cot by his side Dr. Gauss groaned and turned over in a half-comatose state. The last time he’d looked over there had been a dark stain of blood on the pillow upon which his sweat soaked head lay. Roy didn’t care to look again. Instead he reached for the anti-rad medication on the small stand next to his cot and swallowed two more and he felt a little more assured.

Donovan stepped out of the room he had co-opted as an office. The provisions that had been in there when they first entered the bunker were now stacked in the corner of the main room. There was plenty of space. The bunker was made to house twenty or so individuals. Roy wasn’t sure how many rooms there were in total – he had stayed mostly on his cot bed.

A large, white-gloved paw went up to his face and straightened the pencil moustache.

“Roy?”.

“Art”.

Roy glanced up. His brain still twinged with nightmare unreality every time he looked upon the little head sat seven foot off the ground atop the large brown body. The buttons on the red shorts that were stitched into the fur shone. Donovan polished them every morning.

“Did you manage to find the shirt?” the head asked.

“Yeah, it’s right here”.

Dr. Gauss coughed and moaned a little. Roy winced and looked timidly at the head peering down at him. It didn’t seem to have even heard. He reached for the sailor jacket that sat on the pillow behind him. It had belonged to one of the other mascots that had managed to find itself stashed in the bunker for whatever reason. Roy had felt like a grave robber unstitching it from the mascot that was stood in some dark corner, the black eyes staring back from a grinning face. He stood and handed it to Donovan who turned it over in his large rabbit paws.

“Which one was this off?”

“McKay the Wacky Mallard, sir”.

You drew him, Roy thought, you drew him decades ago.

“Hmm”.

As if Roy and the dying Dr. Gauss who lay guttering on the bed were not even there Donovan slipped off the shirt, split along each seam, that he had worn and unknotted the comically small tie. He pulled on the sailor jacket. There were no reflective surfaces within the bunker in which to appraise himself. He looked to Roy.

“Hmm. So, Art, I was wondering”.

He lowered his voice to a whisper.

“What will we do with…” and he tilted his head towards Gauss. “When it happens, I mean?”.

Donovan tilted his tiny head for all of a second.

“I need to see you in my office” he said, “I’ve got a little project we need to get to work on”.

And with that he turned and walked into the room he had commandeered, the white bobtail bouncing along behind him.

Roy didn’t go into the office. He stood and walked into the store room. The walls were lined with racks of shelving all of which were piled high with cans or sachets of food, blankets, medical provision and the like. He had read somewhere that the bunker was stocked well enough for up to twenty people to survive for 15 years. Enough time for the radiation to die down. He thought again about his anti rad medication. He would keep taking it, just in case. He imagined he could hear Gauss’s racking coughs even at this distance.

Some of the medical items were disturbed, syringes and packets of gauze scattered all over the floor. This must have been where Gauss hurriedly gathered what he needed as he had desperately tried to save Donovan’s former body. But the damage had been too much, apparently. The connections all fried or the bone all fractured. Roy hardly knew what was really inside the form that had once been Eriksson. Gauss had conceded defeat and, once Donovan was transplanted onto Washington’s neck, had disposed of the remaining pieces of each.

“It won’t rot. There’s no chance of disease, don’t worry about that” Gauss had barked at Roy when he had asked. Roy wondered just where the ghoulish castoffs had been stashed. It was too late to find out from Gauss himself. That would be a pleasant surprise one of these days. He thought in jest of Washington’s large happy head screwed onto the blighted form of Erikson, nee Donovan. It was a ludicrous thought. Such a thing stowed away in some dark corner of the bunker for him to stumble on one day. But perhaps it wasn’t so funny after all. He shrugged off a chill.

Searching through the rows of dehydrated and vacuum sealed food he found what he had been looking for. And, yes! There it was. He pulled back the folded flaps of cardboard. The silver tops of the cans gleamed up at him like a bank of spiders eyes. He took a breath and picked one up and turned the label to face him. It was tuna. Real tuna. He clutched the can in delight till his knuckles paled. But the tops of the can underneath didn’t shine. Without putting down the first can he picked up the one below. He dropped them both and turned the box round to read its contents. “10 x TUNA/30 x NRTUNA”.  Each box on the shelf was exactly the same. Row after row.

Roy sat on the cot bed. Gauss breathed quietly beside him. Donovan came out of the office. No mention was made that Roy had not followed him into the office. As time passed Roy wondered how many days they had been down in the bunker. Without the cycle of the sun and moon it was so difficult to say. He picked up a pen from the little stand beside the cot and made the first tally mark on the wall. He looked across at Donovan. He, too, was drawing on the moss green paint. He could still draw, the talent never went. He was drawing Washington. His foot on a mound of earth, he was planting the American flag.

Siege Machine

onehundredandsixtynine

 

I

The sand was a dry, scorching ocean beneath him. The blanket upon which he lay did little to diminish its heat and the sun above seemed to push him down into the dunes with its weight. He could not move to relieve his discomfort, for the caravan approached. At this distance it was unlikely he would be noticed, but amongst the complete stillness of the desert any movement was like a scream amongst silence.

Through narrowed eyes he watched it come out of the heat haze. Its shimmering outline growing more distinct like a stone under settling water. At its head and rear were camels upon which sat two of the Shah’s private guard. Their scimitars shone like polished mirrors. Between them, the wagon moved like a beetle crawling across the sands, dragged onwards by two more camels. Three soldiers with pikes clung  to its the wooden sides of the wagon, their heads flicking this way and that like nervous atrium birds.

He looked from the caravan to its destination that lay half a kilometer ahead of the procession. A small, sandstone building at the end of a deep valley of sand dunes. A single doorway was cut into its front and the shadow inside was as deep as any for miles. Watching it from his stark and burning position it held a grim temptation. In another place it could have been inconspicuous, blending in with the desert sand. But here in the depths of such sparse, uninhabitable geography, so far from anything approximating life, its mere existence was pregnant with menace. Man is a guilty cur and in isolation he commits his foulest act, and no place could be more remote from witness than this parched wasteland.

The caravan was drawing near now and Siba, perceiving that the soldiers’ attention would now be fully on the building, allowed himself to shift his position. The hot fibres of the blanket seemed to be embedded in his skin. He tensed his aching muscles without taking his eyes from the caravan.

It happened all at once. A scream cut clean through the baking air and a pale figured flitted over the brow of a dune and skimmed down its face. Siba froze, his mind in a whirlwind trying to piece together sensation and relate it to his own actions.

The scream had come from the wagon. From inside the wagon. The soldiers were not aroused and continued their anxious but controlled vigil. The girl. Perhaps she had been drugged, the perfume of some noxious black lotus or seed only now releasing her. Perhaps her blindfold had slipped and she now saw the grim reality of her destination. Perhaps she cried out to Gods that dare not enter these wastes. No matter. Her screams were swallowed by the stifling air.

The figure that still careered unseen down the dunes had not made this noise, Siba knew. In fact this figure made no noise whatever. Its position was such that, even if the soldiers had looked in the exact direction, their vision would have been ruined by the glare of the sun. As it reached the midway point between the ridge of the dune and where it levelled off, the figure threw itself to the ground and, in a flash of sunlight, seemed to disappear. As his vision settled Siba recognized the trick that had been played. The figure had pulled across itself a cloth. The same colour as the desert sand, it was even shaded and detailed in such a way as to blend in with its situation. He smiled nervously. A fox could be no less cunning.

The caravan had drawn to a stop now and Siba watched the elite guard dismount and approach the wagon. The soldiers hopped down from the sides and, joined by the driver, formed a loose perimeter. One of the guards disappeared inside the wagon and the girl appeared moments later, pushed through the flap in the canvas. She stumbled in the sand, a beautiful, brown figure. Her garments were almost sheer and her hair hung down to the small of her back. As she regained her footing she looked in turn to the guard who stood before her, the one behind and each of the soldiers who, ignoring her whimpering, scanned the various horizons before their posts. And she bolted.

Siba’s heart was heavy in his chest. The girl’s feet pounded at the shifting sand and her arms flailed. The guards did not even move, at first. She fell and picked herself up again. Her light clothes were sliding from her smooth figure. It was a tragedy. Like prey, split from the herd and singled out by the pack, there was something of the desperate jerks and turns that an animal in flight will make to buy itself mere seconds of lif,e as the predator snaps at its heels. Circles drawing ever tighter until death.

She was heading toward the sun. Siba wondered whether this had any significance. That in an empty expanse she chose to race towards the only expression of life that did not threaten her. He realized that, given long enough leave, she would collide with the figure lay sprawled and hidden on the dunes.

In time one of the guards went after her in long strides, barely jogging. Her screams reached a crescendo as he closed and, when he came upon her, tumbling amongst the waves of sand and trying to scramble to her feet, he lifted her with one hand and, with the other, struck her full in the face with the pommel of his sabre. She fell to her knees, his hand still wound into her hair. One of the soldiers spat into the ground. The guard guided her, quietly sobbing, back to the caravan.

The other guard took her free arm and the three headed towards the low building. Even the guards, the Shah’s coldest, battle-hardened acolytes, stepped slowly towards it. They were here to deliver the girl, their return was not guaranteed if things went wrong. They would each have left instruction with their eldest sons, and been bathed and anointed for final passage by the Shah’s sorcerers in case of accident. If their wives, their comrades, their Shah even, could have looked into their faces as they walked in solemn silence these people would perhaps not have recognized them. There would have been a cast in the eye that none would ever have seen there before. The dew of sheer terror.

II

The unassuming building was like the head of a snake, peering above the sands. A venom filled pit. It was no traders rest or blighted farm house or any of the other things that it appeared to be. It was the entrance to a stepped pyramid that slithered down into the bowels of the dunes. Swallowed by the sands for as long as folk memory was retained, its architects were forgotten. Whatever it may have been once, temple, tomb or cache, now it belonged to the Shah. Siba did not know whether the chill of evil that seemed to fill the air at its mention emanated from some elemental force from its past, or the mundane and earthly cruelty that lived in it now.

The girl fell to her knees before it.  The moan that escaped her was like that of a jackal dying in a trap. Blood ran down her nose and fell onto her lip. The guards hauled her to her feet and dragged her into the shadow.

Siba narrowed his eyes and looked at the three soldiers and the driver who stood in the valley below. He looked to where the figure hid on the dune opposite. His plan had always been to allow the caravan to leave and to follow the girl into the depths, but now… If only he could know for sure the intentions of this new element. He himself was a formidable fighter. With a fair wind even the three soldiers could perhaps be slain. But the elite guard presented a greater challenge. He would never think to tackle them alone. These were men who could drive back whole legions if they could get their back to a wall. If he had the strangers aid though…. No novice would follow into a damned place such as this. The sooner he could get to the girl the more of her there might be to bring back to the village.

The figure on the opposite dune moved. Pulling back the cloth that had covered him he raised himself to a crouch. Siba looked to the soldiers below. One of them had discovered a black snake sliding its way towards the group and called out. They were surrounding the creature and jabbing at it with their pikes whilst the wagon driver stood on and watched. Siba wondered how, from his hiding place, the figure had seen to know that the watch’s attention was turned. Now the figure wound down the dune with the same lethal grace as the black snake at its base and, like that creature, seemed to possess the ability to lay waste to these dull soldiers with a mere twitch of his will, if he so chose.

The soldiers were called to attention by the sound of clattering metal in the building. They edged away from the snake which ceased its rearing poise and slid off into the expanse of the desert. One of the elite guard was seen in the doorway, leaning heavily on the stone. One sabre was in his hand and another was hanging from the sash about his waist. The sound of it clattering and scraping on the sandstone rang in the hot, dead air. Siba looked to where the mysterious figure had been descending the dunes. It was gone. Scanning the area he found no sign of the sand being in anyway out of place to indicate the figure employing their ruse.

The remaining guard staggered out onto the sand. His clothes and hands were bloody and he limped as he walked. One of the soldiers came to try and steady him and the guard, with one hand, grabbed the man by the shirt front and threw him to the sand. Turning back to the building the guard drew the sabre that hung loose at his side. As he pulled it free blood slid from the metal and flew through the air in an arc. He stood, pointing his sword at the building.

The driver of the wagon was an older man and he came, placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and whispered something in the guard’s ear. The guard pushed him aside and walked towards the building. The old man shouted something that Siba could not make out. Just short of the doorway the guard stopped, plunged the sabre into the sand and wrapped about its upright handle a sash that he drew from within his shirt. He yelled something into the shadow, spat violently into the sand and turned to walk away.

Siba watched the caravan disappear into the haze from which it had emerged. The now unmounted camel of the guard who had not returned from inside the pyramid loped along on a tether behind the wagon. The silence in the valley was like the coil of a snake; Siba felt his breath being drawn by its weight. The sash on the end of the sabre fluttered in a listless breeze. Slowly, Siba began to get to his feet and began to head down the dune.

He stopped as, amongst a pile of boulders in the valley floor, there was movement. Siba pulled his sword.

In a flurry, one of the boulders disappeared and in its place was a man. In one of the man’s hands was the head of a black snake, held by the neck. The rest of its body was coiled around his outstretched arm. In his other hand was a large cloth. Siba smirked; it was like the finale of some cheap conjuring trick that the “gurus” in the market would perform for coins.

The man lay the snake down on the sand and released it. It wound its way off in the direction that the caravan had headed. The man looked up to where Siba stood atop the dune.

“Idiots. If they had left the poor creature alone he would have quite ignored them. And perhaps he wouldn’t have come looking for shelter amongst the rocks,” he said.

He flicked the cloth to dislodge the sand. Siba saw that, whilst it was patterned after the dunes on one side, it was patterned after the rocks on its reverse.

“Ingenious, isn’t it?” the man said observing Siba’s gaze. “So simple an idea, but such mastery to execute. I procured it from an abandoned ziggurat many years ago. I’ve never seen anything like it since. It makes one wonder what other lost arts might be buried in all the ruins of the world, eh?”

Siba did not respond. He looked to where the blur of colour that was the caravan could still just about be seen on the horizon.

“They won’t hear us at this range” said the figure, though he began to walk towards the bottom of the dune upon which SIba stood. Siba’s hand tensed on the hilt of his sword and the man stopped.

“I take it you’re here for the girl?” said the man.

“And you?” Siba replied.

“I’m not here for the girl,” he said. And with that he turned and went to sit on the rocks. Siba came down the dune slowly his sword twitching imperceptibly in his hand. He was within 10 feet of the man who was rummaging through a knapsack that he carried.

Siba would not have been able to place his nationality. His skin was too pale and his hair too light to be from a desert land. He wore the local dress, though it was faded and drab. He wore a thick cloth tied about the bottom half of his face. It muffled his voice somewhat though he spoke the language with a perfectly affected accent. His eyes were keen and blue as apothecary glass. They stuck out of dark smears that Siba had at first taken to be dirt and grime but that he now saw was some kind of paint or pigment.

“Your name?” Siba said.

“Craid” replied the man.

“And if you’re not here for the girl, Craid”, Siba said, levelling his sword at the man, “then why are you here?”

The man Craid pulled a dark snuff mixture from a small leather pouch and put a little to each nostril.

“You know what’s in there?” he asked.

“I’ve some idea.”

“Say it out loud”, said Craid, “it’ll make you feel better.”

“They say it is one of the Velgorkesh. A gift of their fleshwork from the tribal elder to the Shah. They say it has been in the dark so long its skin has turned as pale as a spider’s silk and that it it can follow a man in the pitch black by the stink of his fear.”

A shiver racked Craid’s shoulders as he took the snuff and he closed his eyes.

“I’d say that’s not far from the truth,” he said, at last. “Do you aim to kill the thing?”

“They say it can’t die” Siba replied.

“Now that’s definitely not true,” said Craid, his eyes opening once more. “There’s nothing in this world that can’t die. No matter how twisted its flesh, it is still flesh. Always these things are only ever flesh”.

Siba looked to the shadow of the doorway.

“And yet you are still afraid?” he said.

Craid stood up from the rock.

“Who wouldn’t be? That things like that can exist and yet still die. What chance do any of us have?”

He snorted laughter, rubbed the top half of his face and headed towards the doorway.

“Come on, Siba, we’ll kill the thing or choke on its blood. Isn’t that what brave warriors say before they go to choke on a things blood?”

Siba watched Craid walk towards the entrance to the dank crypt. His arms, hanging loose at his side, were lithe but knotted with ropey muscle. All over they were patterned with a network of tiny scars like thorns in a briar. He walked as casually as a merchant amongst his wares. Siba thought he heard him chuckling to himself in the still desert air. Tightening his grip on his sword, he followed him. The sash that flew at the end of the sabre in the ground fluttered behind them.

III

The black air inside the tomb seemed to be settling as they stepped inside. It swam and wrapped around them like swathes of frayed cloth. There were black spots of blood in the sand by the doorway. The walls were plain and the floor bare. The stairway that began to wind down into the earth was almost impossible to see in the inky darkness.

Siba came up behind Craid as he was lifting two torches from his knapsack. He laid them down in the sand and dowsed their linen bound heads in oil from a bottle. Taking flints from the bag he poured sparks onto the torches until they caught. Straightening up and handing one to Siba he said;

“We have about 1 hour of light. Don’t let it go out. It’ll be as black as the Pit down there.”

“How does the thing see, then?” asked Siba.

“I doubt that it does. The dark would have robbed it of its sight after all these years. The Velgorkesh might have opened the lenses of its eyes when it first went down to allow it to learn its labyrinth but that, in itself, would have left it blind in time.”

Siba spat in the sand. “They are godless animals.”

“No”, Craid muttered, heading towards the stair, “they are neither. No creature but a man with a God to please would do the things they do”.

“It is a devil that they worship, not a God. They are beasts howling at a moon,” Siba scoffed.

Craid sighed, “You shouldn’t excuse a man his crimes by excusing him of his humanity, my friend. If you want to find a demon down there instead of a man then throw your sword away, and remember your prayers.”

“They’re the glib words of a coward, if you ask me,” Siba growled.

Craid knelt in the sand before the stairs. He pulled two knives from his bag and a bottle of a milky liquid.

“Stand back,” he said.

He fastened the cloth about his nose and mouth tighter and, pointing their tips down, dowsed the knives with the liquid. Even from a distance the sharp smell of the stuff made Siba wince. Craid patted the knives down in the sand until he was happy none of the liquid could run down their blade. Putting on a leather glove he took some of the sand that had been soaked by the poison and stuffed it into a pouch which he put into his knapsack. The glove he pulled inside out by its rim and tossed into the darkness.  

He stood up and looked at Siba.

“What is the girl to you?”

Siba weighed his sword in his hands and looked down at the floor.

“Nothing. The lover of a friend. He has sent me in his stead and against his will. The Shah must pay for what he has taken from us. Our people,” he said

Craid’s eyes betrayed the smile that crept under his mask.

Nothing”, he said.

He turned and began to head down the stone steps.

IV

The pyramid was a labyrinth of empty rooms and hollow passages. Widening here and tightening there, they coiled deeper and deeper into the earth. The still air became rank as the torches burned away the sand particles that hung in the air. Craid led the way, following footprints and the marks of something being dragged that had been left imprinted in the sand on the stone floors. The flickering light from the torch’s flame disclosed the strange symbols that adorned the walls. As they threaded deeper into the pyramid, these symbols became more numerous as they became more arcane.

Some of these Craid recognized as similar to the glyphs he had seen in alchemical texts, though these were both more primitive and, yet, more suggestive. What had seemed like random shapes and lines on parchment were exposed, here, as the remnants and interpretations of much older and more suggestive forms. The acts and figures depicted were both cruelly recognizable and nightmarishly obscure as they danced in the light cast by the flames.

Siba pulled his light desert clothing about him.

“It is freezing in here,” he complained.

“We’re about 300 feet down, I’d say,” Craid advised, “A long way from the sun.”

“What could ever have lived in such a place? Even before it was buried.”

Craid looked back over his shoulder.

“Judging by what I can make of these writings, I don’t think very much lived down here for long. There doesn’t seem to be any names recorded, not even whomever had the place built. The only thing that gets repeated is something called the black wind.

Siba let out a little moan.

“What was this place?” he whispered.

“I suspect the same thing it is now. A hoard. With some sick force inserted into it as guardian. Whatever the fashion was 1000 years ago.”

Craid stopped and chuckled. Holding up his torch to the lunatic scrawling on one of the walls, he directed Siba to read it.

“You see? You should make this one out, it’s near enough your tongue.”

Siba peered hesitantly into the light.

“Something about time or ages?” he ventured.

Craid’s bright eyes shone like a cat’s.

It will come again,” he laughed.  

V

They found the guard at the end of the long room, his twisted body appearing out of the blackness like a phantom as the torch light fell upon it. It had been abandoned in a bloody heap at the top of a set of stairs that slunk down into the blackness. Siba tipped it over with his foot, searching for some sign of what weapon had been used. The face was a mess of battered, tormented skin and shards of bone. Siba got down on his haunches.

“There are no puncture wounds,” he observed.

Craid did not reply.

“Craid, I said there are no puncture wounds,” Siba repeated, turning his head.

Craid was stood quite still, his eyes looking down and away and his head slightly cocked.

“What is it?” Siba whispered.

Slowly, Craid began to pull one of his daggers from its scabbard.

The gruesome body let loose a wet, choking cough that echoed in the black chamber. Siba tumbled back in shock, his sword at his side and the flaming torch borne in front of him.

By Waad…” Siba spat, getting to his feet.

The figure on the floor writhed weakly, twisting like a worm pinned into the flagstone. It made noises that were of flesh but not of mind. Placing a foot on its chest to hold it, Craid bent over and thrust his knife into its neck again and again. He stepped away when the thing had stopped moving, flicking the blood off his knife where it spattered on the cold stone.

“They’re down one level,” he said, “I can hear the girl.”

“I need to know what you’re here for,” Siba whispered.

Craid seemed to chew the idea over as he holstered his knife.

“There’s enough gold down there to sink a galleon,” he started.

“So you’re a thief?”

“Of a sort. I’ve no interest in the gold though. And neither does the Shah. I’m here for what he’s hiding amongst it. And, of course, the gold my employer has promised for its retrieval.”

“And this treasure is?”

“The Heart of Nammu.”

Sabu laughed. “Have you seen the “gold” he’s promised you? You might be risking your life for a bag of rooster feathers or whatever else his unsettled mind is telling him is a fortune.”

“He’s crazy all right. I rarely find myself working for the sane, I’m afraid. But not crazy in that way,” Craid replied.

“The Heart of Nammu? But it’s a tale?”

“I thought so too.”

Siba looked into his keen eyes. They glittered like quartz in the torchlight.

“How did the Shah come to have it?.”

Craid looked to the dark stair heading down.

“They say an old man came to the Shah many years ago, at a time when he had only recently taken the throne. He claimed to be of his family. Of course imposter relatives are nothing of note for a monarch, especially in the days of his ascendency, but there must have been something in the old man, as he was not run out, or worse, as most might have been. Perhaps it was the resemblance people said they could see, though the man looked more like one of the hill tribesmen than a member of the refined royal blood. The old man was taken in and bathed and dressed and allowed to feast with the new Shah. When he was pressed for the depth of their relation he could name numerous of the Shah’s kin, ancient and far reaching, but was evasive about where he belonged on the family tree.

The Shah was softer back then, not yet coarsened by the trials of rule. He allowed the old man, his purported relative, to live in the palace and by night the old man regaled him with a series of tales about the family’s illustrious past. The stories entertained the Shah, appealing to his vanity by way of his antecedents victories and great feats. In time, though, he grew weary of the old man’s recollections. Perhaps he suspected the old man was creating fables that would keep him his place amongst royal comfort? A vain man’s ego is as thin as a starving dog, twice as hungry and just as unpredictable.

The shah made a pointed question of just how the two, so subtly similar and yet so far apart, were related. The point, I believe, was at the end of one the elite guards spears pressed to the old man’s throat. The man made his confession. His relation to the young Shah was quite direct, in its way. He was his great, great, great, great grandfather he claimed. Now, on the pain of death, the Shah demanded that no more games be played. How could a man live who could claim such antique lineage? And in answer the old man opened the fine silken garments that the Shah had bestowed on him in exchange for his reflections and histories. Embedded in the pale and dusty skin, above where the man’s true lifeblood once beat, was the Heart of Nammu. As black and cold as a desert sky”.

Siba’s mouth hung slightly open and his brow was knit tight. His eyes were wet in the torchlight.

“Where did the old man find it?” he asked.

“He told the Shah, his purported descendent, that the stone had been found in a cave in their ancestral hills. For, though a great man of his own kind at one time, the old man had not lived in a palace surrounded by servants as the Shah did, but had been the chieftain of a large village. In the cave they had found a hermit sheltering. He had no food. No water but that which ran down the cold rocks. His body was like a corpse animated, and yet he still lived. The cave walls were adorned with strange patterns and symbols marked in blood and soot. Crude paintings of beasts, structures and figures that the men did not recognize. And all the time the hermit, though robbed by time of sight and language, clutched his bitter heart with jealousy.”

“So how did the old man, the Shah’s relative, find himself under the spell of the Heart?” pressed Siba.

“Who knows”, Craid said, his voice losing some of it’s muffled portent. “Envy, weakness or curiosity? No matter”.

“And yet the Shah has taken it upon himself to bury it amongst a ruin from which it might never escape?” Siba asked.

“The Shah is yet young, or perhaps only not so old. He sees the terrible cost that the jewel effects on a body in exchange for its powers. Perhaps he imagines a future where he might be tempted to touch it to the bare skin of his chest. Or, even, he has planned for the same and wants to ensure that no-one else can avail themselves of its gift before he can.”

“And the old man? The Shah’s relative? What became of him when they relieved him of the jewel?” Siba asked.

Craid bent down and scooped a handful of stray sand from off of the flags. Standing up he let it fall through his spread fingers.  

“And your employer wants this for himself?” Siba said, a look of disgust on his face.

It will come again,” Craid replied.

VI

The steps that lead down to the lowest level of the pyramid were longer than any that Craid and Siba had yet descended. The air on the higher levels was musty and stale but, as they went further below, it became tinged with a wet, earthy miasma that turned the stomach of them both. The walls were tight on the stair and they passed down in single file. They had left one of the torches still burning and wedged into a crack in the stones above. Craid had proposed that, though probably blind from years in the darkness, what they were facing could still be sensitive, perhaps especially so, to the light of the torches. Perhaps even to their heat. Siba followed at a distance and with a light step after the faint light that Craid held up ahead.

The silence was as choking as the darkness but, as they grew closer, a whimpering sound began to weave through it. Siba took it for the girl and his heart twisted like an insect caught out of the shade and scorched by the midday sun. Amongst the blackness, nightmare images rushed in to fill the void left in his mind. As they drew closer the sound became clearer. It was not the girl at all. The pathetic whimpering was more like a wounded animal. It could only have one source.

As they reached the bottom of the stair, Craid crouched down on the sand floor of the pyramid’s lowest level. He held out a hand to slow Siba as he came close. Siba crouched down next to him as Craid put a finger to his own lips and directed Siba to look with a twist of his head.

Siba watched a monument of tormented flesh, as white as a fish’s belly, bent over an altar in the middle of the vast chamber and weeping like a child. The sound it made was inhuman. The form that it issued from was vast. Its shoulders were like a plateau of muscle, it’s legs like the trunks of a cedar. But, around its middle, it was starved. The skin sagged and the curve of its ribs could be seen poking through. Siba looked to Craid who mouthed “The Heart” and gestured towards his own stomach.

A look of disgust swept over Siba’s face. The gem could substitute the energy in a man’s stomach as well as the blood and movement of his heart. And where better for the Shah to hide his family’s grim token? Its guardian could not have it snatched from under its lusterless eyes by the wily. One would have to confront and overcome the tragic creature to obtain The Heart. And it would sustain the pitiable thing until its heart gave out down here in the dark. No food, no water would be necessary. He could spare his men from having to descend into the stone abyss for the most part. It would only need one thing. For, though racked in the flesh by its tribes strange arts and the work of the stone it had still, once, been a man.

Craid passed the torch to Siba and began to slink towards the outer reaches of its light and towards the figure at the altar. Despite his best guess, the Velgorkesh did not seem to recognize the light of the torch, though it fell on the thing. Siba watched Craid walk in a crouch. He moved like a spider in the gloom, silent and swift as a plague. Siba’s breath was caught as he watched Craid close the distance to the creature, which still wailed and sobbed at the altar.

As the Velgorkesh shifted, Siba saw the girl upon the altar and his hand flicked instinctively to the hilt of his sword. Her naked, brown skin glowed in the faint light of the torch. The creature at the altar reared up, its huge arms aloft. He heard the girl cry out. Craid froze, his dagger swaying in the still air like the forked tongue of a snake. And then hell broke loose in the roots of that cursed, abandoned place.

Siba had called out. He had not been able to keep silent. As the twisted hands of this creature – this destroyed image of a man – had been raised above the girl, he had seen everything for which he had fought, suffered and lost for, about to be taken away and he had – beyond his will – tried to draw its frightful attention upon himself. The Velgorkesh had whirled around, roaring. And now Siba saw fully what the emptiness and cruelty of its people, of any people given sufficient abandon, had wrought upon its frame.

The eyes were as white and blurred as summer stars. They twitched in the pale, scarred flesh into which they were set. There was no hair on the thing’s head, the scalp had been ritually burned. The lower half of its face was sealed within some metal trap, jagged and bolted into the bone around its jaw. All over its naked body it bore the fleshwork of its creators. It was scarified with their runes of power and rage. Its fingernails had been torn out, replaced with shards of coloured glass that the skin had grown over and held in place. One of its legs was more iron than meat, the metal red with rust and blood. The thing drew a club from behind the altar, a length of stone from which a metal bar jutted at one end. It heaved the thing above its head and swung out into the darkness, screaming like a djinn before a glass.

Craid moved in. The Velgorkesh, its senses now appearing more painfully sharp than either Craid or Siba could have imagined, swung with the club. Craid ducked and rolled away, reaching into his napsack. Siba dropped the torch and came forward with his sword. He struck out at the thing but his blow was blocked. Craid shouted to SIba to step back and, with a gloved hand, hurled a handful of the poison laced sand square in the creature’s face.

The thing wheeled back, howling and tearing at its eyes. Craid lashed out like a sprung snare but was caught by the blindly reeling arm of the Velgorkesh ,and the toxic dagger was knocked from his hand and driven point first into the sand, inches from Siba’s foot.

Siba stepped aside and slashed a deep cut into the creature’s back with his sabre. As it leaned back, its arm reaching around to clutch at its wound, Siba watched Craid leap up and onto the things shoulders in what seemed like a single bound. With the weight of his body directed down through his knee into the back of the Velgorkesh’s neck he forced the thing to tumble forward towards the altar. As its face struck the stone with a crack that echoed in the wide chamber, Craid sprang away and lunged for his dagger.

The creature turned around in silence. The metal trap that had held shut its jaw was shattered. It hung in ragged pieces and thick strands of blood and saliva hung from each point. Craid paused. Even a man such as Craid could only stand and stare. The thing reached up to the trap with its giant hands and took a firm grasp on the metal. It’s muscles bulged, the blue veins popping. With one heave the metal came away from the flesh and bone with the sound of an animal being skinned for leather. The creature emitted an unholy sound, like a sigh and a death rattle in harmony, as a gout of blood gushed onto the sand.

Siba watched the black teeth sparkle in the pool of gore that was already soaking into the ground. The things tongue, cracked and oozing, rolled out of the throat and hung, twitching like a maggot, in the space that its lower jaw would once have occupied.  Siba felt the bile rise in his throat as the naked creature, now visibly aroused by a pain that would have killed another man with the shock, reached down for its club and held it across its glistening, blood stained chest.

Craid stuck out with his dagger as the thing was winding up the club, but the Velgorkesh, seeming to draw some terrible reserve of strength from its agony, knocked him away with an elbow and, swinging the blunt weapon like it was a branch, struck him in the side, flinging him out and into the dust.

Siba flinched as he heard the crunch of bone giving way in his companion’s abdomen. Leaping forward, Siba thrust towards the thing with his sabre. As the metal slid into the grisly flesh of its chest Siba felt the point flick off bone and his hand was pulled loose from the hilt of his weapon.

Stumbling backwards he watched the creature move forward with him. Its huge upper body loomed over him with the sword still protruding from its chest. A hand lunged out of the shadow, as white and cold as a ghoul’s, and wrapped around his neck. It pulled him towards the thing’s face. The milky void of its eyes bore into his own and he saw what remained of its nose twitch as it drank in his scent. The tongue that hung from its face, coursing with blood, thrashed like something dragged from the bottom of the sea. Siba pulled a dagger from his belt and drove it into the things forearm. Its grip loosed momentarily and then tightened like a lock. It pulled back its lumpen skull and smashed it forward into Siba’s face. Siba flew out of its grasp and went rolling across the sand, blood sputtering from his mouth and nose.

The bright flash that had exploded before his eyes with the blow was extinguished and what remained was only darkness. As he had been sent sprawling across the ground he had rolled over the torch. The flame, now smothered by his body and the disturbed sand, had died. He lay choking on the sand in the abyssal blackness. As he caught his breath he stiffened his muscles and listened. He heard coughing, moaning and the shuffling of sands.

His mind was reeling from the assault and he struggled to make sense of the input. It was the deepest part of his being, the part that was as at home swimming in the darkness as basking in the light, that told him what was coming. And it did so not via hearing or touch but by that which makes the snake’s flesh stir. He felt the creature looming over him and, despite the blackness, he felt its hand reach for his heart.

A light flickered in the corner of his vision. A figure hunched over a torch with flint in hand. He felt the creature move away. His chest felt like a great stone had been laid upon one side of it. He heard the girl whimpering in the dark. The spark of the flints continued to flash until they were swallowed by the shadow of the creature. With a roar the torch caught and the chamber exploded once more into dim light. The weight he felt in his chest seemed to be driving Siba into the very earth, and his breath came in ragged gasps. He lay his cheek on the sand and watched Craid in the shimmering, golden glow of the torch.

Craid moved unsteadily about the sands with the torch held forward. One hand wielded a dagger, his arm tucked into his side. The shadow of the hulking Velgorkesh almost blotted out the light as it passed across Siba’s line of sight. Siba’s eyes sank and heaved like a man before the wave of sleep. With a bellow like a bull elephant the creature made its attack. It dragged its club behind its back and the pulled it into the air. Siba watched from where he lay on the ground. The moment seemed to have struck time numb and it persisted for an eternity upon Siba’s eye.

The creature brought its club down and it smashed the ground like a felled tree. Craid, even for his injury, still possessed the reflex and grace of a harrier and he ducked and rolled with an anguished shout. Lunging forward he twisted his wrist and plunged the knife up and into the creature’s exposed palate. The Velgorkesh dropped its club and rocked backwards, hissing like a snake. It reached to pull away the weapon embedded in its flesh, but the strength seemed to have drained entirely from its powerful arms. Its fingers flailed at the hilt of the weapon. Craid crouched, one hand in the sand and one to his wounded side, watching.

For Siba, what unfurled before him took on the fanciful quality of a dream, the images caught between the rise and fall of heavy eyelids. The beast spat blood into the dirt as it staggered towards the ground. The poison that had entered its body was now coursing into the core of its wrecked flesh. Because Craid had been right; flesh was all it was. He, Craid, watched on like a wolf waiting for the blood to drain from a quarry.

In the half light, Siba saw that the cloth around the lower half of Craid’s face had fallen away. He swallowed hard and tried to clear his swimming consciousness. What the veil had hidden was a rent in humanity no less severe than that of the creature’s. From the nose downwards the skin of Craid’s face was almost entirely annihilated by what must have been fire or vitriol. The bare and blackened muscle and tissue could be seen working like an automaton’s gears as he panted through teeth that were  exposed and stuck in a permanent gritted, sneer.

The creature was writhing on the sand in its death throes. Blood flecked foam was pouring from the cavity of its mouth as it lay on its back. Warily, Craid moved closer. Placing his boot on the butt of the knife he paused as the creature’s great hands wrapped weakly around his shin. The hands fell away as he drove his foot into the knife, sliding it into the thing’s brain, like wind through a dune.

Siba’s own eyes were pulling closed when they met Craid’s. Sticking the torch in the ground, Craid pulled a cloth from inside his shirt and wrapped it about his face. His eyes smiled conspiratorially as he walked towards where Siba lay stricken.

“I suppose down here is as safe a place as any to hide a secret, eh?” he said.

Siba coughed and spoke. His voice had a faint, far off quality to his own ears that stilled his heart.

“How bad is it?” he asked.

Craid crouched down. His brow was knitted across his forehead.

“What do you want me to do about the girl, Siba?” he asked.

Siba closed his eyes. Where the weight on his chest had been, he now only felt a spreading cold that cracked and groaned like a field of ice under the sun.

“There’s a village up in the hills. Near the Shesauu lake. There’s… if I could…”

Craid placed a steadying hand on his arm.

“I’ll find it.”

“But… Craid….”

“I’ll find it. I promise you.”

Siba opened his eyes once more.

“What about The Heart?” he said.

Craid went over to the where the fallen creature lay in silence. He pulled Siba’s dagger from where it was still embedded in the thing’s forearm. Tentatively, he made a shallow cut in the flesh of its belly. Emboldened he drove it into the meat and gouged an opening. Rolling up his sleeve he thrust his arm into the wound and began to dig around in the viscera. The veins bulged on his lithe arm as he tensed and, with some difficulty, tore loose the stone. The skin and flesh that had been supported by the Heart’s strange properties melted into gelatinous liquid and sank into the earth as it was removed. Siba choked on the acrid stench that emanated. Craid held the jewel, dripping with gore, to the firelight. Though barely greater in size than a pebble its dense black surface seemed to swallow light like the sea drinking a river.

“Craid… check on her… please…”

Craid looked to the wounded man. He wondered if any but this poor ruined girl, betrothed to another, would mourn him when he was gone? Turning the light of the crackling torch to the dais in the middle of the chamber he saw the girl beginning to climb down unsteadily. He walked over and attempted to help her. She whipped away from him in horror and tumbled to the sand, beginning to crawl away.

“Craid…”.

He heard Siba’s weak call in the darkness and walked to where he had left his bag. Coming back to the girl who still struggled in the sands, he wrapped the patterned cloak about her naked form. She collapsed, weeping, into the dirt as the cloth enveloped her bare skin. Bringing her to her feet he began to lead her to the stair that they had descended to this monstrous place. They stopped by Siba. His lips were twitching weakly as if he was trying to speak. His eyes shone like wet stones in the amber light. And then they both were still. The girl did not seem to notice that Siba was even there. Craid wondered whether this was a tragedy or mercy. He wondered, once again, what it was that made the difference.

VII

Stepping out of the unassuming building and into the balmy desert night, Craid assessed his options. His horse was half a day’s walk away, where he had abandoned it to begin shadowing the caravan. He should have found out from Siba where he had stowed whatever transport method he himself had taken. He looked up at the vast sky, bruised purple and shot through with hot, silver starlight. The sun’s heat would be dying in the sands and the desert would soon be an icy tomb. He wondered whether the girl would make it.

She stood in a daze gazing blankly at the sabre stuck into the ground and the sash that now hung limp in the still night air. The blanket began to slide from her shoulders but she did not reach to grab it and it drifted to the ground. Craid looked at the gentle curve of her hip. A thin trickle of blood ran down her thigh. He looked back to the open sky. His eyes still averted, he picked up the blanket and wrapped it about her until her hands grasped and held it meekly. Placing a gentle hand on the small of her back he stepped forward and she followed with the ease of driftwood floating across still water. Like this, they walked out together into the desert night.

Geist

onehundredandsixtytwo

 

I

The house was an old merchant townhouse. Set on top of the hill it looked over the town as it had for the past two hundred years.The third floor was the top of the house. From there he looked down at the grey stone buildings that stretched before him. His back tooth ached and he flicked at it with his tongue until it, too, was raw and copper tasting. He looked up at the pale, featureless sky and imagined the people moving in the streets below it.

The town below was as drawn and grey as the sky. It was the grey of soaped over windows. It was the pallor of figures that wandered like lambs lost in the fog. Grey had once been the colour of prosperity; of grist, gravel and iron. Now its colour remained only in the buildings and the townspeople. In what was left. Soon he would have to walk out among them once more. The food was beginning to run out.

He heard his father coming out of his bedroom on the second floor. The thin, sound of music played on old vinyl floated up the stairs. He turned away from the window and listened. He heard the shuffling of papers in the study. Going out onto the landing and looking down over the banister he saw his father stood on the landing, leafing through photographs. Faded prints of people neither of them had ever met. Pictures of the long dead relatives of the house’s previous occupants.

His father wore his faded wine dressing gown. Where his hair was not white it was grey. Where it was not bald it hung in wispy strands to his shoulders. Hearing the noise on the landing, his father looked up. The eyes were dim, damp lamps set in the loose folds of pocked rind that made up the skin of his face, as well as anywhere else the threadbare gown could not cover. He looked away and went back into his room clutching the ream of photographs.

His heart racing and weak in the chest, he returned to his own room. He could not bear that gaze. The distrust. The disappointment. The strange, nameless longing. He went back to the window and, rubbing the condensation from the frigid pane, looked down at the town once more. It did nothing to pare back his racing pulse.

He went to the bed, picked up the blanket and wrapped it about him. The dust smeared mirror was pushed into the corner of the room, half buried behind stacks of cloth bound books. Catching his reflection in it, he grimaced. This is what the townspeople saw, what he imagined they whispered about after he had passed them in the street.

An irregularly shaped head, shaved down to the scalp. Skin that was a dour and sickly white. A frame that was wasted; the muscle, water thin, turned to soft fat that slopped and wobbled on the bone. He shuddered.

Taking a book he climbed up and onto the bed and arranged the blanket around him. The book fell open in his lap releasing its calming smell, somewhere between dust and the damp woods. The book was old. Not so old as to be antique. Only old enough to possess that arcane quality of things not long forgotten. He had never heard the author’s name but the quotes on the inside pages spoke of “another stellar work” from them. The room was full of books which, like most items of entertainment or utility in the house, had been abandoned by the previous occupant.

His father had bought the house cheaply on account of its disarray and disrepair. Considering this a concession rather than an opportunity for profit, had let the rot that had already set in, settle and expand. Sagging brown boxes littered the hallways and room holding plates, curtains, cutlery, documents; all that had been left behind. He had built himself a library of forgotten books. His father had crate upon crate of old photographs along with the scratchy records of eerie, slightly discordant, music.

He lay in bed with his book and worried the cavity in his tooth. A vague restlessness was on him but he buried it away. Ignoring the clock’s tutting and ticking, he let time’s petty wave of insect bites pass over him, unfelt.

He awoke as the dark of gloaming began to blanket the room. The amber from the streetlight’s sad, sodium glow caught in the condensation on the window. He picked up the book from the floor where it was splayed and went to place it on the bedside table. There was a soft knock at the door and he dropped the book in fright. His father pushed open the door.

“Are you going to the town tomorrow?” his father said.

“Wait a minute” he replied, reaching behind the table and flicking on the lamp. “What did you say?” he asked.

“Are you going into town tomorrow? We need things” his father asked, squinting in the new light.

“Probably” he said.

“You need to go” his father said “we need food”.

“I know we do” he said.

“You were supposed to go today” said his father.

“I’m going to go tomorrow” he replied, pulling the blanket up around his throat.

“You can’t just lay in bed all day” said his father.

“I know. I’m not going to”.

“You have to go into town tomorrow” said his father.

“I know, I’m going to!”

He hadn’t meant to raise his voice. Every sound seemed amplified in the still air of the house.

“You’re going tomorrow, then?” said his father, appraising the stacks of books, the dirty mirror and the drawing night beyond the window.

“Yes. I’m going tomorrow”.

“Make sure that you do” said his father, and stepped out into the dark hallway, leaving the door ajar.

He got out of bed immediately and went to close it. He watched his father shuffling down the stairs, back to his room. Their eyes met. Nothing was said. Still air echoed in each nook of the house.

II

It was midnight and he was sat on the windowsill, rolling a cigarette. The dry tobacco slid inside the paper as his trembling fingers tried to gather the two. Finally, he put a match to his creation and, as the flame caught, he sucked in the biting smoke and released it with a sigh.

He looked at the suit that hung on the wardrobe door. Found amongst the boxes of abandoned ephemera that littered the house it had become the uniform he donned when he needed to visit the town. The house clothes weren’t fit for that. The suit was worn specially, sparingly, for that purpose. “His going out suit”. Its limp folds cast sad shadows on the carpet.

He crushed the cigarette in a bone china cup and it collapsed into embers and singed tobacco. He looked out of the window at the dark rooftops of the town below. He picked the butt from out of the pile, emptied the spent tobacco into another paper and rolled another cigarette.

He read until 5 am and, deciding that no sleep would benefit him more than little sleep, he got out of bed and went to make a coffee. Rinsing his cup under cold water in the cluttered kitchen, the sound of water boiling made the hackles raise on the back of his neck. As he poured it the burnt smell of the granules mingled with the damp, sour smell that rose from the sink. He looked in the cupboard. A few tins of vegetables, a few bags of rice, some soup, some sardines and some marmalade. It made for a paltry stock of nourishment. His feet were going numb on the stone tiles. He turned out the light and climbed the stair.

As he reached the second floor he heard his father stir, the mattress groaning as he turned in his sleep. The breath caught in his throat and the coffee spattered on the carpet. He rubbed it in with his toes.

Back in his room, where what heat there was rose and was held under the roof, he sat, again, by the window and watched the hands of the clock move jerkily around the face. Outside, the birds twittered and sang on the slack telephone wires.

He felt good here, with his coffee, amongst his books, in the time just before the dawn. It was a time of great possibility. One could dream; the trial and the failure still belonged to a future hour, just out of reach. Equidistant from ideals and expectations. The null hour of the Nth day of naught naught never never. He smiled to himself. The clock’s hands lurched forward another fraction.

The morning had broken. Thumbing at the tarnished buttons, he appraised the besuited figure in the mirror. The cloth hung in ugly folds, shining along each crease. His heart beat in his throat as he considered stepping out into the daylight. He slumped in his armchair and made a cigarette. His feet hammered inside the uncomfortable shoes as he smoked in short, violent draws. At this point there was nothing to turn him back, no matter how he offered himself as a martyr to fate. No falling plane. No rain of bombs. No tidal wave or soldiers at the gate. Tomorrow would not take, even with interest offered, what had to be suffered today. He looked out of the window. A fine rain was blowing against the glass. He would wait just a little longer. Just until the weather had passed. He went to sit on the bed and when, later, he pulled the duvet over himself, it barely even felt like weakness.

III

In his dream he stood before the dusty mirror in his bedroom, but there was no reflection in the glass. He searched its surface but all he found was the image of the window behind him, through which was thrown a brilliant light, so dazzling that nothing beyond it could be seen. He was puzzling over this peculiar failure in the mirror’s ability when he heard the noise on the stair. It was a shuffling sound, as if of something being dragged, accompanied by a low and laboured wheezing. The noise unsettled him and he returned his attention to the barren mirror. But the noise would not stop. A slow, clumsy rustling noise on the carpets. Staggering gasps. When he heard it on the landing he stepped away from the mirror.

Stood in the middle of the room he glanced frantically about the room for a weapon as whatever was outside began to bang on the door. The sound was like wet cloth being slapped against rocks. The door rattled on its hinges with each assault. He, again, scanned the room for some means by which to defend himself. Glancing nervously to the door he was horrified to find that it was wide open though nothing stood beyond the frame. He stumbled towards it, his feet seeming to sink into the carpet, but as he reached the door he found it closed once again.

A voice in the back of his mind whispered that he was dreaming and he laid his forehead on the wood. It was then, by his feet, he saw the first part of the horror begin to slide beneath the sill.

Standing aghast in the middle of the bedroom he watched in mute terror as the strange intruder began to emerge from under the door. A mass of pasty, rubbery skin, it heaved itself through the tiny aperture, rasping breathing accompanying its painful looking exertions. As more of its form came into the room it began to regain some of the shape that had been eroded by it intrusion through such an inimical passage. It was a pelt of human skin. Though devoid of muscle or bone it was clearly still animated. The flapping tentacle-like folds that were its fingers were grasping at the carpet to aid its ingress. The pained gasping sounds certainly came from some conscious and motivated core.

Stepping away from the desperate thing, though unable to turn his back to it, he moved towards the window. Now halfway through the gap, the thing propped itself up on its arms as it hauled its back end through. Its face was a horrific, half inflated mass of skin with leaking, milky eyes that betrayed no sign of recognition or purpose. Still, it appeared to stare directly at him. Its mouth twisted and flexed in rhythmic pulses as it moaned softly. He felt tears pricking his eyes as the thing, a disgusting chimera of the human and the chthonic, wormed its way in, blind and ravenous. Now free from the door it lay wailing on the floor in a heap of tortured flesh. It began regaining its shape through sickening, intestine-like contractions. He stood frozen and watched as it raised itself up (or was raised from above, as if a marionette on strings) on legs like strands of raw translucent jelly. It screeched like a rodent and its form shivered in reply.

He struck out at it blindly, his blows landing with the pitiable weakness that mocks one in sleep. Each strike only seemed to cause him to entangle himself more with the gross, greasy skin that made up the creature. The more he struggled the more his attacks were attenuated by the bindings of skin wrapped around him. He was beginning to scream, as much as his constricted lungs would allow, when, groaning malignantly, the thing began to blindly wrap around his face like a caul.

IV

He awoke with a jolt. There was a sound on the stair. In that dim borderland between dreaming and wakefulness it was hard to discern from which side of the void his anxiety stemmed. His father’s shout tore away the veil.

“Are you still here!?” his father’s voice demanded.

He jumped out of bed. Outside, the rain was still blowing against the window and the sky was beginning to darken. He was glancing at the clock as the door began to open.

“What are you doing?”,his father asked.

“Nothing”, he replied.

“Have you been out?”.

“No, I…”.

“You’ve slept all day? You were supposed to go into town”, his father interrupted.

“I know”.

“Do you understand what will happen if you don’t go?”

“I know. I’m going to go in tomorrow. I didn’t feel well”.

“But you’ll feel well enough to stay up all night poring over those books, I suppose?”.

“Look, I didn’t feel well, I told you. I’ll go in tomorrow”.

His father began to turn and step out into the hall.

“I’m going to come up here first thing in the morning and I want you to be ready to go”, he said.

“What time? I wasn’t going out til the afternoon”.

“You’ll go first thing”, his father said.

“Wait…”

But his father was already heading down the stair.

His back tooth ached interminably. He worried it with his tongue which, in turn, began to sting from being run over the tattered edge of the tooth. A headache was writhing behind his eyes like a cobra, swaying sick and silent. He swallowed and tasted blood.

A large patch of scar tissue was on his upper thigh. When he had been very young he had fallen from a tree in the woods behind the house. When his father had followed the wailing and found him at the base of the tree, his leg badly gouged from the branches, he had picked him up in his arms and carried him back into the house and rung an ambulance. He spent the glorious summer in his room with his leg in a cast and his father bringing him soup, magazines and medicines. The yellow, blushing scar itched frequently and he found himself now, again, violently scratching at the numb, desiccated tissue.

Around 2am he heard his father get up. The sound of him moving around downstairs made his skin crawl and he went back to the book that he was reading. Eventually, he became conscious that he had not heard his father having gone back into his room. He put down his book and stepped out onto the hallway, training his ear to the floor below. There was nothing. Gingerly he began down the stairs. From the second floor he heard his father moving around in the kitchen. He passed the study and caught the smells of dust and cloth that emanated from within. He moved halfway down the stairs and stopped, listening over the banister. He heard the clanking of pans in the kitchen as his father moved around inside. He took the rest of the stairs and turned the newell post. He tiptoed towards the damp smelling kitchen and stopped on the threshold.

His father was wrapped in his tattered dressing gown. His figure threw pathetic shadows in the jaundiced light of the bare bulb that swung almost imperceptibly against the draft from the cracked, mossy windows. He stood hunched over the stove, piling various of their limited foodstuffs into a pan from which steam rose in slim wisps. His fatherstirred the pot with a wooden spoon that was black with age, dipped it into the food and then brought it to his lips.

Creeping backwards from the doorway, his eyes never off his father, he turned into the hall and stepped into the darkened living room. From here he planned to wait until his father had returned to his room, assuming that this is what he would do. Hunkered down amongst the clutter that riddled the living room he was surprised to see his father hesitate at the bottom of the stair, the steaming pan in his hand. Indeed, instead of climbing the stair he wove his way through the junk into the gloomy living room. The smell that came from the pot was strange, representing all and none of the esoteric mix of ingredients that had been combined. He pulled himself down further into the shadow as he heard his father move aside a stack of boxes and open the door that led into the dining room.

The dining room was named only for the great oak table that now heaved under the crates of books and photos that sat atop it. The room was a storage room, in practice, never used and wall to wall with furniture and junk. The smell of mildew and damp wood reached him in long, thin tendrils as he watched his father step into the room. He heard the rattle​ of wood against wood and low, unintelligible muttering and cursing as his father moved about inside the room. He crept over to the doorway and strained his hearing into the darkened room.

There was the sound of teeth grinding, sucking and a low muttering. As his eyes grew accustomed to the shadow he saw, amongst the decades of clutter, the dark figure of his father hunkered in the corner. The figure was clawing handfuls of the mixture in the pan and stuffing them into its face. The figure was talking in a low, babbling voice to itself. The words did not sound human. He saw his father lashing out at invisible figures in the dark and greedily wrap his arms around the pot. He stepped back out of the doorway of the dining room. The moon had come from behind a cloud and the window pane was glowing the eerie blue of snow beneath a clear night sky. He listened to the faint murmuring and growling that came from the dining room and his stomach grew heavy.

He climbed the stair back to his room and made a cigarette. His hand shook as he attempted to light it and the match singed his finger. It fell to the carpet and, in a daze, he watched it begin to catch and smoke. Eventually he ground the flame under his foot.

V

He did not sleep that night. He had heard his father climb the stair at around 3 am and go back into his room and, since then, he had sat at the window smoking and tearing at his nails. As the sky was beginning to lighten he had heard voices outside speaking in loud, drunken incoherence. He looked down as a couple came into view in the alley below. They stumbled along, affectionately falling over one another and laughing. The woman fell against one wall and the man fell atop her and kissed her. She kissed him back. The man’s hand began to slide up her thigh and under her skirt. She batted it away playfully and, pecking him on the cheek, ran on, her high heels in her hands. The man chased after her, grinning. He heard their laughing, singing voices grow faint.

Later, his father came into his room and he was ready. He had planned for it. He had spent the remainder of the night formulating what he would say. Honing his rebuttals and recriminations to razor sharp points amongst the clouds of stale smoke. But when his father opened his mouth and spoke there was nothing to return with. His tongue was a cracked root that shrank back into the hollow of his dry throat.

“You need to get ready” his father said.

“I’m going this afternoon, I need to air out the suit” he said, with a forcefulness he did not feel he would be able to maintain.

His father looked at the suit hanging on the mirror and then to the window.

“You’ll need the window open”.

“I forgot” he said, “I’ll go as soon as it’s done”.

His father scoffed.

“Do you know what’ll happen to us if you don’t go? Do you have any idea?”, he said.

“I know…”.

“I don’t think you do. I don’t think you know how serious it is”.

“Of course I do!”.

“Then why don’t you do something!?”.

To which there was nothing that could be said.

VI

Days passed. He was in the kitchen. It was midnight and he could see his breath in the frigid air. He was still wearing the suit but it did little to keep out the chill. He held his hands over the water that boiled in the pan atop the stove. The heat made the gnawed skin at his fingertips ache. Into the pan he dumped a cup of rice. A sickly, earthy smell rose with the steam. He looked at the mess his father had made on the counter earlier in the evening. He tried to gauge what amount of food must have been used. He kept an ear open for his father coming down the stairs but it was only an instinctual reaction. They had become ships that pass in the night. His father spent his days listening to records whilst he himself slept. At night he read books in his room whilst his father slept.

When the rice was ready he went to take it upstairs. He stopped in the doorway. Looking back at the countertop he noticed a can of tomatoes, half empty, behind the kettle. He presumed his father must have abandoned it and he considered whether this had been a conscious act. Holding his breath he went and picked up the can and took it, along with the rice, up to his room.

Later, laying in bed and only half roused from sleep he felt the weak warmth of the sun on his back. He felt the presence of his father in the room before he heard him. He stayed quite still. Hearing his father shuffle around in the room his heart rattled inside his chest. He opened his eyes and saw his father’s dim shadow on the wall before him. He squeezed his eyes shut and listened to his father rummaging amongst his belongings. His blood simmered with a mixture of anxiety, panic and searing hatred. His father was pushing aside the towers of books and papers that littered the floor. He was searching for something. He pantomimed sleep through the cacophony and, as a heap of books collapsed with a crash through which no person would sleep, his skin chilled in shame at the charade that was being perpetuated. He felt the mattress sag as his father rested a hand on it to look under the bed. He smelled the stale smell of his father’s skin. His father pulled the can of tomatoes from under the bed and went out of the room.

After several more days; there was nothing left. Going down one night to the kitchen he found all of the stained plates and pans on the sideboard and the cupboard doors wide open. Empty bags that once held rice or dry pasta were tossed amongst the clutter. Some scraps of the contents remained, scattered amongst the the grime and debris on the countertop. He gathered it all together and emptied it into a china cup. It barely filled it to the rim. He filled a pot at the tap and put it on to boil.

He sat in his room. The clock was off the wall and, though it still kept a time, there was no way to know whether it was keeping the right one. He watched its spindly hand count off the seconds from where it lay on the floor. The seconds seemed too long. He wondered whether its mechanism was broken. He wondered whether it stopped and started when he wasn’t watching, whether it sped up or slowed down. He tried to calculate whether a malfunctioning clock would be right more or less times in a year than a clock that had stopped. He swallowed hard. The sound of his father’s scratchy, lilting, staccato records came floating up the stairs. They had been playing non-stop for several days now. He could not concentrate on his books. The sound of the music frayed his nerves. He would open his door and shout down at his father to keep the noise down. His father would turn down the volume but within half an hour it would have returned to a level that set his teeth on edge.

He bit at the torn skin around his cuticles, pulling a thread of which down to the first knuckle and away. It sang with a small but sharp pain. He stood up and paced the room. He still wore the suit and, in places, it clung to his skin with a horrible greasy, coolness. The mirror lay on the floor exposing its scuffed back. He sat in the chair and drummed his fingers on the arm. He got up again and pulled off the cushion. He picked up a packet of tobacco he found there and peeled it open. It was empty. He gnawed at a fingernail. He repaired the chair. He sat down. He bit the torn nail to shreds and swallowed. His stomach roiled and clenched against a wave of sour acid. He heard his father changing the record downstairs.

A small black spider was building a web in the corner of the window frame. For a second, no longer, he felt the warm, unburdening feeling of a tears building behind his eyes. He went over to the window, got down on his knees and watched the spider construct its web.

VII

The sky was still dark and he stood by the front door looking out through the frosted glass. He reasoned with himself. I can be there first thing, when the shops open. The streets will be less crowded. If I’m already outside when the sun comes up and the doors open I’ll have no other excuse. He repeated to himself; This time. He opened the door and stepped out into the cool morning air.

As he walked the cobbled alley that led down the hill and into the town he looked up. It was going to be a beautiful day. His palms were sweating and he jammed them into the pockets of the suit jacket. Birds sang their blithe hymns to the morning on the wires above. Everything had the soft outlines and shimmering cores that are seen through sleep starved eyes. He squeezed the coins in his pocket and imagined he could smell the hot, copper smell coming off them as they warmed between his fingers. He always felt under the eye of the world when he went out into the town and, perhaps, this is why he did not feel it. But, had he turned and gazed up, he would have seen his father, stood in the window, watching him walk away.

He came onto the end of the alley where it met the main street of the town. It was still more dark than light. He wandered amongst the alleys and yards of the quiet town waiting for the sun to break. He found himself out on the main street and, though he had thought the town would be quiet, the streets were, in fact, quite busy. The throngs shuffled their way to work, heads down and coffees in hand. They pulled shutters up halfway and ducked underneath them. His stomach heaved as he went past them at a stride. He felt like a fugitive and each eye that fell upon him set his pulse racing. He imagined their intrigue; “there goes the strange boy who lives on the house on the hill”.

Shame, guilt and frustration choked him like a wire slipped about his neck. He headed past the small, quiet shop where he had aimed to buy his supplies. The old lady who ran it was putting her key into the lock and looked absently at the figure who passed. It was only the fear of bringing further attention upon him that held his legs from breaking into a sprint.

He found himself at the foot of the stairs that led up to the library. It’s community board proposed coffee mornings, harvest festivals and reading groups via pastel coloured leaflets. Bicycles chained to the railings bore tartan saddle bags and reflectors woven amongst their spokes. Pigeons shuffled on the guttering, ruffling their feathers. He went up the steps and into the lobby. A mother and her child were coming the other way. The child slowed and stared as they passed, the mother tugged its hand without looking back. He stood by the librarian’s desk and they, too, slowed and stared, looking him up and down with their ink stamps hanging in the air.

He walked amongst the rows of shelves; paperbacks and popular fiction. He could see none of the names who had authored the cloth bound works that littered his room. As other browsers passed him he pressed himself tightly against the shelves. The choice was overwhelming, he had no frame of reference by which to select. He watched what others picked up and turned over to appraise. He was lost. But these people were not like the people in the street, he thought. They were warmer, kinder. Books made one warm and kind. Though his heart was thumping in his chest he went over to the librarian’s desk.   

“Hello” said the librarian “Can I help?”.

“I’m looking for a book” he said.

Her eyes went to her computer screen.

“What’s the author’s name?” the librarian asked.

“I was hoping you could recommend something?” he said.

She looked back at him, up and down, like the readers amongst the rows of books scrutinizing spines and blurbs.

“I’m not a member,” he said “does that matter?”.

She stared back at him and he shuffled nervously.

“I was when I was a child. I haven’t my card anymore though; perhaps I’m still in your records?” he murmured.

“Are you going to check out the book?”, she asked.

“No, only read it here. Just for a little while. Maybe something short”, he added “something I could finish by this evening?”.

Another librarian was watching now and he caught her furtive eyes flick from him to her colleague. His palms were sweating.

The first librarian began to open her mouth, though it was clear by her eyes that she was struggling for words. He had a very terrible feeling that by bothering these people he was testing their tolerance for him and that he might be invited to leave. His tongue became a gruesome knot and he stammered out that he was sorry to bother them and that he would find his own works to read. Turning away he knocked into a trolley of books by the desk and stumbled away with his hands thrust into his jacket pockets.

He went to the furthest shelves that he could find from the librarian’s desk and browsed there. The works were non-fiction and he was more lost than ever in choosing. As he rifled through the books he could see the librarian’s glancing over and whispering to each other. He quickly pulled down a book and took it to one of the reading tables. The book was on carpentry and he pulled at the pages listlessly. Putting up shelves, building cabinets and birdhouses. He could not invest himself in it at all. Distracted by the curdled looks he imagined the librarians were giving him, his skin was hot and dry. He bothered his aching tooth as he wrung his hands.

As the clock on the wall hit 12 his stomach was beginning to pain him. He was tearing at his cuticles when he saw the girl, sitting on the table opposite his. Her hair fell in dry strands of tight, mousy curls. She wore a thin cardigan which she periodically pulled across her narrow chest in a ritualistic way. Her eyes were huge with tiny, unadorned lashes and she fretted with her free hand as she turned the pages of the book in front of her.

He was enamoured; enraptured by her image. He was alive and he forgot. He was nowhere else and only there and entirely crushed by the release. He lived one thousand lives with his eyes never leaving her. He imagined walking from the library with her. Going with her to her home on the other side of the town. Leaving his father amongst the empty rooms of the house to rattle and roar like a beast. He imagined a life with her, free, until death.

When she looked up from her book and met his eye he felt as though he had been struck in the chest by a mortar. The air seemed to burn between them and his heart abandoned its course. He wondered what this girl, this girl who had been with him for one thousand lives, would say for her first words. But then she frowned and looked away and then back to her book. Then up at the clock. Then down to her bag. And then she stood and walked away. In confusion he returned to the book in front of him and, when evening fell and the warm lights were beginning to weigh on his eyes, he got up and walked out into the dark, cold town and followed the alley and climbed the hill and returned home, closing the door quietly behind him.

VIII

He climbed the stair and heard his father in his study on the first floor. Drawing a deep breath, he walked by the open door , staring straight ahead.

“You’ve been a long time”, said the voice.

He looked into the room. His father stood there, a ream of photographs in his hand. The room was in chaos. Many of the boxes were tipped over and the prints spilled across the floor. Some of the records had been broken and the black splinters littered the ground.  His other hand was stuffed inside his dressing gown. A strange lump bulged underneath. His father looked him up and down.

“Where is the food?”, his fathersaid, absently dropping the photos on the floor.

“I was robbed. The money’s gone. There is no food”, he replied.

“You were robbed?” his father scoffed.

“Yes; this morning, when I went out”.

“By who?”.

“Some man”.

“Some man?”.

The lump under his dressing gown moved in a slight but discomforting way.

“He took everything. I’ve been at the police station all morning”.

“All day you mean?”.

“Exactly”.

“And set them on the trail of some man?”.

“It wasn’t my fault”.

His father turned his back and walked two steps away. He groaned as he seemed to struggle with something inside his dressing gown. He hunched over and the sound of his back cracking only half covered another, stranger, noise. He turned back around.

“Just go. There’s nothing left to do”, his father said.

“What do you mean?”.

“You know what I mean”.

“It wasn’t my fault”, he repeated.

With his hand still tucked inside his dressing gown, his father stepped towards him. He came so close that he could smell the musty smell coming from the cloth and another smell underneath it, almost like bile. His father sighed and the hot, stinking air came to his nostrils across teeth the colour of jaundiced ivory.

“Nothing left”, said his father, “nothing whatever”.

And he went up to his room.

The room was turned over, the disarray worse than before. The mirror was cracked; its shards were scattered across the carpet. The clock was broken in two. His mattress and bed clothes were pulled from the bed and the chair was on its side, the fabric of its bottom slit open. Books lay everywhere, arching crushed spines amongst their own torn pages.

He righted the chair and sat down. Both of the windows were open for some reason and the he could see his breath. His stomach ached from hunger, his head ached from anxiety and the pain in his tooth was a constant throb. He put his head in his hands. Looking up he spied a packet of tobacco amongst the wreckage of the room. He got up and picked it up. It was old, it must have come from the insides of the chair. But it was half full. He winced as he straightened up; the blood rushing to his swollen temples. He sat and swiftly rolled a cigarette. Though dry it tasted as good as any he had ever smoked. He began on another.

Downstairs, the music started up. Louder than before. The disjointed, dissonant chords were further marred by the skipping of the records at regular intervals. He wondered whether his father had damaged the player. He heard him continue to rattle around and overturn boxes of the sepia photographs.

He smoked his cigarette. Though he had been outside of the house all day and had barely slept the night before, he did not feel tired. His mind was alert. His senses seemed to be operating beyond their usual capacity. The taste of the tobacco; the hint of blood in his mouth. The cold dirt smell that came from the dusty books. The hot scratch of the smoke in his throat. He felt eerily calm and unbearably close to breaking in fleeting, overlapping seconds. His consciousness wound through stricken dissociation and hyperreality.

He ground his cigarette on the carpet and sat back. The music wailed downstairs. He bit his nails and, as he tore at them, he felt the edge of a tooth crumble. He spat the small shards into his palm and turned them over with the tip of a finger. He slid the pieces back into his mouth and ground them into dust between his molars. The hairs on his arms stood on end and he shivered as he felt bone destroy bone. He gripped the arms of the chair as his stomach convulsed and knotted itself with hunger.

IX

He awoke from a shallow, fevered sleep sitting in the chair. It was dark outside. He shivered in the cool air. The music was still playing downstairs; thin recordings of a bizarre negro spiritual. He shrugged off the suit jacket. Somehow its oily fabric made him feel colder. He went down to the first floor. The door to his father’s room was closed as he passed it and he heard him within, breathing heavily. He went down to the ground floor and into the kitchen. It was in complete chaos. Smashed cutlery littered the floor and one of the cupboards was half hanging off the wall. He went to the sink. It was full to the weir with scummy, greasy water. He reached his hand inside and rummaged around. The loud clack of plates, even under the water, sent a nervous thrill down his neck. He pulled free a kitchen knife. Its tip was slightly bent. He plucked it with his fingertip and a tiny thread of his skin was pulled away.

He stood at the bottom of the stair and looked up, his head slightly cocked. He went into the living room and put his ear to the door that led into the dining room. He turned the knob and leaned gently on the door. He felt a worrying resistance but it was only some of the junk that had fallen against the inside of it. He squeezed through the gap, holding the knife out at the end of his outstretched arm.

The room smelled of oak and ashes. A faint orange light from the streetlight outside came through the curtain. He inched his way through the furniture and boxes trying to make his way to the corner of the room. Banging into a table, an upended chair fell and clattered against the other furniture. The sound, amongst the stillness of the night, was like a clap of thunder. He froze and tried to listen beyond the ringing in his ear and the sound of his pulse beating in his head. As it subsided he began again to move through the maze of clutter. He found himself in the corner where he had found his father hunched and muttering to himself. He knelt down on the stiff, dirty carpet and searched with his hands. He found dust so thick it matted and then crumbled to powder in his hands. Empty tins that stank of the sour remains within. His hand fell on something wiry and wet that gave slightly beneath his grasp. He whipped his hand away in disgust. As his sight grew conditioned to the darkness he caught the glitter of the amber light on a beady, black eye amongst a mess of fur. Bile rushed up his throat and stung his sinus. But he made no effort to move.

He was slumped on the floor with his back to the wall when he heard the footsteps coming down the stair. He had been in the darkness for hours, he supposed, and his eyes had become keen in the dark. The tins lay at his side in neat rows, the meagre contents scraped clean. He tasted rot and dust on his tongue. He ran his tongue over the cavity in his tooth and tasted blood, but only some of it was his. A coarse hair came free from his teeth and he plucked it out between tacky, reeking fingers. There was another taste in his mouth, something sweet and unctuous. He savoured it and rubbed the torn cloth of the trouser on his upper thigh. He picked up the knife and heard it drip on the carpet. The footsteps came closer and the door was pushed open a crack. A large shadow pushed its way into the room and stood in the silence.

In the darkness his knuckles were turning white as he gripped the knife ever tighter. He opened his mouth, his lips curled back and he took a ragged breath. The air rushing in stang the cavity in his tooth. The shadow in the doorway jerked as a guttural snarl from the black corner of the room echoed amongst the forgotten lives and the tiny, white bones entombed in the dust.

X

He sat in the chair in his room. The soft, grey light of early morning feathered the walls with its gentle glow. The music downstairs continued but the record had caught and a second was repeated over and over.  “my lord… my lord… my lord” juddered up the stair, sweet and maddening. He looked at the broken pieces of the clock and smiled. He took a sip from the steaming coffee that sat by his feet. His stomach no longer ached. His tooth no longer ached. His head was a warm haze. He tried to roll a cigarette but the papers stuck to his gummy fingers. He licked his fingertips and bit at his nails and, eventually, tried again. He looked at the broken clock again when he heard someone pass in the alley below. Time for the town to work. He took another sip of coffee, lit a match and put it to his cigarette. Cinders fell and sank into the carpet leaving tiny black marks. He lit another match and watched the fire creep down the wood and burn out between his fingers. He took the final match from the box and struck it until it caught.

 

The Octopus, The Horse and The Maiden

onehundredandfiftyseven

 

Once upon a time there was a maiden, though, by the time of our story, she was only a girl. Once, twice, thrice a girl. Perhaps more. For language has decided that, beyond thrice, a thing is no longer worthy of record. And who could argue? Three times anything has ceased to be an action and a matter for the ledger and the courts. It is a nature and is a matter for God, or someone like him.

This erstwhile maiden, this girl by nature, came down to the sea to bathe. In sheaths of cool autumn rain she bent and bowed her bare feet on the damp stones as she floated down the beach. Her hair was the colour of corn, soft as prayer, and her skin had the smell of milk gone sour. She wore a white dress, barely a slip, which she cast off like a caul as she walked down to the cloudy water. Naked, she knelt down in the surf and foam and, with small, childlike hands, she washed herself in the brine.

At a good distance a shadow watched the small white and gold figure attend to it’s ablutions in the rain on this timid edge of the roaring ocean. The shadow was a horse. Made of sinew, glued as firm as mortar and brick. A mountain of ideal proportion, of dense bone and thew. He saw the figure and pricked his ears. Behind him was a rake to which he was lashed. Like a plow in size and resistance but made to sift the grains from the stones of the beach. Day after day he pulled it. Who had set him to the work he could no longer recall. Forward and back for spring summer and winter, before and alike to the tide, forwards and back.

He drew his load closer and closer to the shape that bathed itself in the foam. The closer he came the more his enchantment grew. As the blurred edges became bewitching curves the form dwarfed even the heaving sea in his perception. He stopped just short of her and announced his presence with a stamp of his hoof on the sand and shingle that it was his commission to separate.

She turned and smiled with a smile as pink and white as was her mottled, milky skin, bathed in chill saltwater.

“Hello Mr. Horse” she said.

“Hello young maiden” he said in a voice that was as broad and deep as his chest. “It is a fine day for bathing, despite this rain”.

She smiled shyly and ran a handful of water down the length of a slender arm.

“It certainly is. Have you come to bathe also, Mr. Horse?”.

“No. I wish I were here for pleasure. I must rake the sand, for it is my position”.

“How sad” she said and her blue eyes swelled “however, you have done such a fine job, the beach is a portrait, have you not earned a minute of rest?”.

The horse, Mr. Horse, seemed to fathom this suggestion. His nostrils flared and his tail swished as he calculated the aons for which he had pulled this apparatus and attempted to ideate if, perhaps, this may have earned him the opportunity for leisure, if even for just a minute.

The girl, Miss. Maiden, who had gone back to her bathing, looked back over her shoulder and watched him struggle between duty and deference. His narrowed, roaming eyes caught hers. She smiled understandingly and, inevitably, duty was undone.

“Hmm” said the horse “perhaps. I might. That is to say, I could. My father used to say ‘overworked and unmotivated, the beast becomes the burden’. I would need someone to disengage this rake, of course?”.

“Of course” she smiled and, standing up, naked as Eve, she set about the straps and buckles that so encumbered the horse.

“My” she said as she ran flat his hair that was in disarray from the fixtures “you have been made into muscle by your work”.

The horse, his eyes heavy and his tail swishing with pleasure, allowed her to admire his grandeur in silence. Her tiny, gentle hands worked each fixing and stud til the stud himself, finally unburdened, stretched out each tendon and joint til they bulged under the unyielding hand of the girl.

“You are as much monument as mammal” she said, standing back to appraise him as a whole.

The horse rolled his glassy chestnut eye over her own esteemable form.

“You are an angel to apprehend yourself, Miss.”, he said, giving one final stretch, shrug and shudder to relieve his nude body of the memory of its bindings, “and a nurse to tired flesh”.

She giggled to herself and, returning to the surf, knelt down again in the water. The horse trotted over and stood in the lapping tide. He looked down at the water and then at the naked girl who was scrubbing at the inside of her thigh with her hands.

“Miss, once you have attended to yourself? The water looks very inviting but I am unequipped to enjoy it to its fullest extent” the horse said, looking at his dull hooves.

Stopping her own bathing immediately the girl stood, brushed her long damp hair over one shoulder, and began to adorn the horse’s aching muscles with cool water.

“How beautifully your chestnut coat shines when it is wet” she said.

The horse put back his head and faced the grey sky, the drizzle falling and sticking in his long, dark lashes.

And so we have two from our title, and where else would we find our third but in his home, and half of our setting, the tumultuous sea? For our strange bathers were being watched.

He had spied the lonely girl coming down the shingle of the beach, disrobing as she went. He had watched with keen intent as she knelt in the water to bathe. He had watched the horse watch the girl with an intent of its own and had equally watched, though through slitted lids, the horse approach and engage with the girl. Now, though his eyes still watched, his agile, alien mind was trained on the imagination rather than the image. He wondered how he might insert himself to greatest effect amongst our already introduced and enamoured souls.

Let anyone who has never known an octopus bet against him and lighten their purse! For the octopus is the sole survivor of the world that went before, so they say, such is his peculiarity to the rest of us. And they neglect to speculate if he was even native to that penultimate world of which he is remnant. The octopus has made a fool of cataclysm once and such cunning is to be revered.

A shimmer of light rippled across his body in involuntary reaction, and portent, to the idea on which he had settled and, utilizing his most cunning arts, he spread his limbs wide and allowed himself to float up to the surface.

The girl was still bestowing ardent caresses of water across the unending fields of muscle and sinew that belonged to the horse when she saw it.

“Oh! Mr. Horse, would you look?” she gasped.

Her hands falling away from his flesh and gathering between her bare breasts she took a step toward the floating object that so intrigued her.

“Mr. Horse, isn’t it beautiful?”.

The shape on the surface of the water was an iridescent marvel of gold and platinum on the grey sea. A facsimile of the sun as it might appear sculpted or in stained glass. Its beams, its spokes, undulated and hypnotised as the shape bobbed in the water. Its core, as bewitching as the boss of Minerva’s shield, was a whirlpool of flax and ochre and pale ozone blue, all intermingling and dazzling the girl who stared, transfixed. Her eyes as wide as a child’s, her mouth opened and she emitted a surprised little moan.

“Oh…”

The horse snorted, as horses are wont to do, but there was derision still to be heard in the sound. He flicked his tail in a haughty way and rolled his eyes to the far end of the beach but, even in his affected disinterest, one could still catch a twinkle in his pupil.

All of this was exactly as the octopus had ordained for, of course, it was he who, with his talent for mimicry, was assuming the guise of the sun. He had no time to relish the efficacy of his actions, all that he had was going into the charade. Each intricate wave of his arm, each pinwheel movement about his crux, each ripple of enchanting colour had to be studied and executed with the utmost delicacy and concentration if he was to continue to captivate the maiden and confound the horse’s earthy charms. Preparing for his denouement he galvanized all his powers of art and deception and prepared his ink pouch.

Still enthralled on the shore, the girl gazed, glassy eyed, into the kaleidoscope of solar colours that continued to spin on the surface of the water.

“Mr. Horse, Mr. Horse, it’s the sun itself, I swear it!” she cried.

“I don’t see how that could be” he muttered derisively.

Either paying no heed or not hearing at all she sighed contentedly as she continued to observe, stood in an inch of water, her feet ankle to ankle. The drizzle that came from the grey sky mixed with gentle tears and her hands at her side fluttered like birds.

“It is. It’s the sun itself. It’s come back” she whispered.

The shifting pattern that the octopus was administering grew in intensity and vibrance. Yellows as bright as a field of cornflower, silvers as delicate as the scales on a fish. For a moment it stopped, a second of infinitesimal duration and, in an explosion of shadow the water around it turned black. The shape’s colours melted into rust and apricot, it’s arms retracted and, in a most perfect impression of the setting of the sun, it sank into the blackness.

The girl watched in equal parts awe and despair. The final act had been of exquisite drama and yet now the show was over. Even the horse, forgetting his supposed disinterest, was watching with anticipation for an encore, his ears twitching hither and thither.

Looking up at the rapt forms from beneath the cloud of ink that still sat atop the water the octopus smiled and allowed himself to float upward. In the slick of shade on the surface, two eyes blinked open.

“My goodness!” cried the girl and started to clap her hands, “Bravo!”.

The horse looked on suspiciously as the octopus adopted a more perceivable colour and floated closer to the beach. He reached a long tentacle to the girl and, as she offered her hand, he wrapped his appendage delicately around it, drew it down and kissed it lightly.

“Oh, what a wonderful show” she squealed as she straightened up. “Wasn’t it a wonderful show, Mr. Horse?”.

“Hmm” said Mr. Horse with eyes as green as seaweed.

Madame et monsieur, I am so pleased you took such pleasure in it. My name is Diogenes, what are your own?”

The girl and the horse looked at each other, a little confused.

“Well, nevermind that” said Diogenes, “How do you both fair on this very fine day for bathing?”.

“Who gave you a name?” demanded the horse of the octopus, quite impolitely ignoring his asking for his health.

“I gave it to myself” said the octopus, Diogenes the octopus.

“Pshwah!” snorted the horse, employing one of his own honed arts, for few if any beasts of the land, air nor sky can snort as a horse can.

“And why, Sir?” said Diogenes peevishly, “An appellation is not a kiss, one may bestow one upon oneself and still retain its majesty”.

“Well, where did you find it?” said the horse.

Inflating somewhat in mass and flushing a royal blue shade, Diogenes answered.

“I read it”.

“Ha!” the horse brayed, “A likely story!”

The girl, seemingly too entranced by the strange new visitor to hear, let alone scold for the impropriety of, the horse’s remarks, looked on, wide eyed.

“Diogenes” she said, reverently, “what a marvellous name. Where did you read it?”.

Smiling with his strange eyes and blushing salmon and plum tones, the octopus replied;

“On a temple wall. Deep, deep beneath the waves where the sun is not lost because it was never known. I reached out and touched it where it was inscribed in the stone. Feeling out each letter and shaping my mouth to their forms I spoke it out loud. It was the sound of a clap of thunder. I knew I had to take it for my own”.

“How exciting!” said the girl.

“What a lot of tripe” said the horse. The girl flashed him an admonishing gaze.

Diogenes was riding a wave of pomp and conceit from which the horse’s disdain could not knock him. He flashed his skin the most regal colours he knew and twirled and twisted his many limbs into fascinating knots as he continued to peacock for the girl.

“What other adventures have you been on, Diogenes?” asked the girl.

“Oh my, too many to mention!” replied the octopus.

“How thrilling!” squealed the girl, reaching out to touch the creature’s peculiar, chameleon skin. “I do love the sea. Did you ever come across a boat in your adventures, Diogenes?”.

“Well, I have scoured many a wreck and found in their bellies such treasures”.

“Oh?” said the girl, and there was a twinge of disappointment in her voice.

“Oh yes” said Diogenes, continuing to posture and pose “quite remarkable treasures, in fact. Metals that catch and bend the light. Jewels cut into the most fabulous forms. Statues so real you would swear they were the subject’s own form petrified and set on a podium”.

Diogenes paused here for gravity. In a sly and mordant tone the horse beseeched him.

“But what of ships, Diogenes, what have you seen of ships that float still on the ocean?” he asked.

“Oh yes” said the girl “tell us, do!”.

“Alas” said Diogene, casting a narrowed eye at the horse, “of them I have yet to be acquainted. But I am sure there is still time”.

“Oh” said the girl and her bare shoulders sank.

“Oh” said the horse, and he flexed his neck, “I’m not sure about that”.

“Don’t say that” exclaimed the girl, her eyes filled with sorrow “There may still be. Just because Diogenes has not seen one does not mean that there are none”.

She stood, abandoning the octopuses studied caresses, and looked out to sea. The horse stepped beside her.

“Perhaps you are right” he mused, “Did you ever see the Admiral in the park?”.

“You’ve seen him too!?” she cried.

“Why, of course. Who could miss a man of such bearing?”.

“Of whom do you speak?” spoke Diogenes, but his voice fell on deaf ears.

“Do you really think he might still sail a ship?” asked the girl of the horse.

“Of course”, said the horse, “for what else could he be waiting so patiently?”.

“Who is this admiral?” Diogenes interjected again.

“There is a park near here” explained the girl, “It is so very beautiful. The trees touch the sky they are so tall and the ground is covered in lush, green grass. It’s as soft as a feather bed. Have you ever been, Diogenes?”.

“No” said the octopus, “it sounds very wonderful” he added, without much enthusiasm.

“Oh it is, isn’t it Mr. Horse?”.

“Quite wonderful” Mr. Horse affirmed.

“There is a fountain in the centre of the park. It’s dry now, of course, though it still fills when it rains” she said delicately and, indeed, her own eyes began to fill as she recounted the place. She placed a steadying hand on the horse’s broad shoulders as he smiled out to sea.

“There’s a man in the fountain” she continued, “He’s made of stone. He wears a coat of stone, too. A great shipman’s jacket, the kind that can break even the wind at sea. And in each of his upturned hands are a stone compass and a stone spyglass”.

“What a wonderful picture you paint” said Diogenes, “What great man is commemorated by this monument?”.

The horse and the girl looked puzzled.

“It’s the Admiral” said the horse in a condescending tone.

“But which admiral?” said Diogenes, “there have been many. Surely whoever erected the thing left a plaque, or some such, by which to recall the subject?”.

“Whatever do you mean, Diogenes?” asked the girl, “He is the Admiral. Now he is of stone but before… Why, once he must have been of flesh and blood, surely?”.

“I imagine, my dear, it is a statue. A monument to a great man”.

The girl looked perplexed.

“But, who could have turned him to stone? Who would be so cruel?”.

“It was never a man. It was always of stone”.

The girl’s eyes flashed and then clouded.  

“Oh, Diogenes, you are fanciful!” she said, “Whoever saw a man of stone walking around, no less one step up into a fountain and stand there as still as a game of Grandma’s Footsteps?”.

“You misunderstand me” said Diogenes, “I am saying the statue was built. Of stone. And only ever to stand in the fountain”.

The girl and the horse laughed and their giddy feet splashed in the shallows.

“Diogenes, you are a silly creature!” she giggled, “You mustn’t tease me just because I am a girl. I certainly never built the Admiral and I cannot believe you kid on that it was Mr. Horse?”.

“It was not I, certainly!” cried the horse, with some pride.

She knelt in the surf and took Diogenes’ arm.

“And what reason could either of us have to make a man from nothing?”, she said as she stroked his tentacle lovingly, “You mustn’t make sport of your new friends”.

Diogenes felt a fool and a child. A gravity built inside him and he adopted a jet black countenance out of which his eyes burned like hot coals. He wrapped his tentacle gently round the girls forearm and locked it like a subtle vice. Altering the geography of his nebulous body in such a way as his voice would boom and whisper both at once, he spoke;

“There was a time, once, when men of flesh and bone took iron, stone and pitch and built entire worlds. Such was man’s capacity to create that he dreamt up a dream of how he was birthed and then built cathedrals to these mothers and idols of his own invention. He painted the walls of his cave, layer upon layer until they became a reality themselves. And from that reality, a New Man was born. But the New Man did not know the joy of creation. He knew his God and did not need to dream him up. And, just as the Old Man supposed in his tomes and testaments, when one knows one’s God in the flesh, such a thing cannot be tolerated…”

He stopped. His strange flesh was as dark and red as a clot of blood. It trembled like jelly.

“…and one will nail him to a lonely tree”.

The girl’s eyes were as wide and wet as pools as she gazed into the octopus’s own  dark and piercing pupils. Her hands were trembling in his grasp and her pale, naked body seemed to shrink away from the frightening ideas that Diogenes espoused.

“Then…” she said, meekly, “Then we are all alone? Only stone and the wrecks of ships remain?”.

“Alas” said Diogenes, “It is all I have seen. But there is hope”.

He reached out a tentacle and caressed her feverish cheek.

“As long as there is beauty like yours then life may yet best what was lost. Perhaps ships will sail, if only to see your smile”.

“Oh Diogenes” she whispered and, whilst one hand raised his limb to her mouth to be gently kissed, her other slipped between her parted thighs.

The horse had listened to Diogenes’ discourse with a scornful ear. Now, watching the girl’s hand slither deeper and deeper into the shadow between her legs, his fury grew and its white hot core bloomed into desire. He stamped his hooves in the surf and tossed his fetlocks impetuously as he worked himself into a state of frustrated arousal. The girl looked over and her quiet moaning was struck dumb by the sight of his agitated and prodigious issue.

“My goodness!” she gasped and, nervously but impulsively, she took her hand from Diogenes’ grasp and reached out to explore the article of her interest.

Dismayed, Diogenes let his tentacle fall into the surf as he watched her hand, at first timidly, but then with growing boldness, explore the considerable flesh that the ardent horse had presented. The horse himself was grunting and blowing, his feet striking and scraping in the silt.

Diogenes was alarmed and, somewhat, abandoned. But cunning and resolve were his oaths and he knew in an instant that which he could employ to return the girl’s favour. He reached down between the girl’s thighs and drew her inexpert hand from its search. He splayed wide the fingers, held it steady in place and, with his most dexterous appendages, fell about to work with sucker, edge and tip on her Mound of Venus, the fleshy part at the base of the thumb. Exhibiting all of his wild knowledge, the science of the Occident and the esoterica of the East, he manipulated the most secret, but potent, of the body’s sensory organs with a surgeon’s precision.

Woken in chill and, hitherto, unexplored corners of her senses by the octopuses manipulations, the girl cried out in surprise and exultation. She writhed like a cobra and squirmed like a hare in a trap. The horse blew hot breath into the cold, damp air as she adored his most private person. Diogenes churned the silt with his unoccupied arms as he sought best purchase on the girl’s other limb. The girl closed her eyes and moaned, the drizzle falling between her parted lips.

Her two studious paramours, though each lost in their own devotions, found each other’s eye, given time. Course hatred whipped through the air above the girl’s bowed and trembling head.

“Let her go!” snarled the horse, “She prays with one hand only because you bind the other!”.

“Ha!” snapped Diogenes, “Give up and step off, nag. I do more with this little plot of flesh than you could with a sea of young skin. Once she tires of your trinket I will have her forget your existence”.

“Gelatinous fiend! Your magic tricks and stolen words will never keep her heart and they do not distract her heat from that for which it burns!” cried the horse.

“Stinking crowbait! When the fresh sweat on you that sways her good sense has turned to reek she’ll be well beyond its miasma and in my arms. You crude knot of shit and organs, I should crack your neck and have your head as a trap for eels!” sneered Diogenes.

“You slimy bag of fish heads and brack. I’ll smear you across this beach!” cursed Mr. Horse.

The horse bounded at the octopus. The girl was saved from a kick in the head only by her collapse into the surf, exhausted by experience as she was. The horse’s hoof came down next to Diogenes with a force that would have clove him in two had it met its target.

Diogenes body flashed a brilliant blue and golden rings woke on his skin like cat’s eyes coming open in the dusk. For, though he had a tongue as sweet as honey, a vein of toxin ran all about him. He coiled his limbs and launched himself at the horse who reared and pulled his head away, neighing in terror. Diogenes wrapped his tentacles about the horse’s neck and, once his grip on the flailing beast was assured, he tore into the flesh with his horny beak and vomited poison into the wound. The horse screamed and thrashed his neck, throwing Diogenes onto the shingle.

“You have killed me, you treacherous cur!” he cried.

The girl, regaining her senses, lifted her head from where it lay and watched the octopus flail his arms in mockery of the stricken horse.

“You deserve nothing less you priapic thug!” he hissed, “I pity the poor clerk who finds an envelope bearing your glue, for now you’re not even good for that!”.

The horse was beginning to foam around the jaw. Sweat ran in streams down his broad sides. But his race are made of oaken will and, often, as death creeps upon them, they are galvanized to feats and deeds which the other beasts can but dream of. So it was with our Mr. Horse.

“You lousy web of effluent! You cuntish jelly!” he roared.

His eyes were ablaze, saucers shot through with bloody threads. He reared on his hind legs and hung there, his forelimbs treading the air. He leered down at Diogenes.

“I’ll split you like a child whore!” he cried..

He crashed his hooves down and struck the octopus who appeared to burst in a shower of ink and queer blue blood. The horse collapsed in the shallow water by his victim and, drawing a breath so huge the atmosphere seemed to contract, died with the air rattling its way over his yellow teeth.

Diogenes was wheezing in a dusky spreading pool of his own humours. The girl stood up, still shaky of leg from her exertions, and looked down at him. She put a hand to her flushed chest.

“Oh you silly boys” she said, plaintively.

Diogenes tried to speak, but his voice was choked by the various alien ichors which bubbled up from whatever ruptures his rival’s attack had caused. The tips of his tentacles coiled reflexively and the colours of the rainbow flashed brilliant across his body, one by one, until they were all extinguished and all that remained was an ashen mass in the shallows.

“Oh you silly, silly boys” said the girl.

She turned and walked up the beach and across the stones from whence she’d come. The drizzle had stopped and the the bank of cloud was pale and drained. She bent to pick up the dress she had abandoned, slipped inside it and disappeared across the horizon.

Purgatorio

onehundredandfiftyfive

I

The yacht was anchored a kilometre off the island. Beyond the sail boats that bobbed exhaustedly in the harbour. Beyond the bleached, limestone houses that peppered the lowland hills of the island, any one of which, brought before the yacht, would have been dwarfed. Beyond the parched heights of the island that bore the perfume of olives and lemons into the the still air. Beyond and above and below paradise. And it was paradise.

The unbounded crisp blue of the sky had to share its take of one’s breath with the sparkling green/blue of the sea, whose colour and clarity seemed to belong to some strange other Earth.

The silver yacht, in comparison, was like some gargantuan monster fish. Shimmering silver in the light; gross and sluggish. Tiered and titanic, the tiny figures on board moving in and out of its decks were like mites or worms squirming around the gills.

On the top deck a beautiful young woman was propped up on a sun lounger, her mobile phone held at arm’s length. She studied the image on screen. Studied the face that copied the miniscule tilts and turns of her head exactly. Satisfied with what she saw at last she broke into a soft eyed smile and clicked the shutter button. The smile fell from her face and she looked down and began tapping at the screen. She set the phone down and lay back.

She was watched from the opposite side of the deck by a man on an identical sun lounger. His mobile phone buzzed and he looked down at its illuminated screen. He looked at the woman and then back to his phone. The screen light flicked off and he caught his reflection. The sun shone through the wispy hair at his hairline. He grimaced and turned the phone face down. He watched the young woman once more.

A deckhand stepped out onto the deck from inside the yacht, carrying a tray on which were balanced two martini glasses. He left one next to the man and carried the other to the young woman. She propped herself on one elbow and gently lowered her sunglasses as the deck hand placed the drink beside her. She smiled and mouthed;

Grazi”.

He smiled back. His crisp, white uniform was pulled taut against his tanned skin which was, in turn, pulled taut by solid, working muscle. She followed him with her eyes as he walked back towards the interior of the yacht. The man on the sun lounger called after him and the deck hand turned, at first to the woman and then, following her gaze, to the man on the sun lounger. He walked over and stopped. His shadow fell across the man on the sun lounger.

“This drink isn’t right” the man said.

The deckhand shuffled from one foot to another.

“Sorry, senor, I will make another”.

“Good” said the man.

“You will have the same again?”.

The man in the sun lounger sighed an exaggerated sigh.

“Yes. Properly made”.

“Of course, senor” said the deckhand,

The woman opposite was watching all this from behind her sunglasses.

“May I ask, senor, what you do not like about this drink?” the deckhand asked.

The man on the sun lounger scoffed.

“Try it” he said.

The deckhand looked back at him.

“Go on” the man said, gesturing at the drink.

The deckhand bent and picked up the drink and, as his shadow slipped, the man in the sun lounger squinted against the harsh sun. The deckhand straightened up and sipped the drink. His bright eyes flicked from left to right. He took another sip. He put the drink down and looked down at the man on the sun lounger.

“I’m sorry, senor, what do you wish to be different?”.

“Jesus! If you don’t know…” said the man.

The deckhand looked back silently. The man on the sun lounger shifted like an uncomfortable child. He sat up and pushed himself back on the lounger. He placed a foot on the deck and then shifted it back to the lounger, bending the leg at the knee. He ran a hand over his face and through his hair.

“Look” he said, “get the chef to make one if you don’t know”.

“I’m sorry, senor. I’ll make sure it is done to your taste”.

“It’s not a case of…” he began to shout and then checked his volume. “Have the chef fix one”.

The deckhand bowed slightly and went back into the ship carrying the drink.

The man in the sun lounger looked to the woman.

“Christ, honestly” he said.

She looked back in silence and began to lay down again.

“Idiot” he muttered

She turned her head to look at him from behind her sunglasses and smiled weakly.

He lay down.

“It’s not fucking hard to make a Long Island, honestly”.

She picked up her phone again.

He turned restlessly and then stood up and walked off into the interior of the yacht; the gills of the gross fish.

II

Later, he stood on the deck, staring out to the island. The clinking of plates and cutlery being cleared away rubbed against a subconscious nerve and his grip tightened on the railing. He watched a tourist boat come out of port and pass by the yacht. Huddled masses of pale, overweight sightseers were clumped together on its wooden benches, clutching bags from the souvenir shops that littered the little island where they competed with the high end boutiques for real estate if not for clientele. The passengers gawped up at the monolithic yacht, some drew cameras and smartphones to take photos. The tour guide, a cheap little local in a polyester shirt, was trying to direct interest towards an historical building on the distant coast. Some of the blotchy, burned children waved up at the figure on the yacht. He looked back impassively. One of the deckhands came up behind him, stopping respectfully short.

Senor? Telefono satellitare”.

It was his father. He gazed around the yacht’s lounge from the sofa as the voice droned in from New York. The voice spoke about shares and holdings and shareholders. It spoke with the concentration, pragmatism and disregard for others that it took to earn enough money to buy a yacht larger than the houses on the island off which it was moored.

“What do you think?” said the voice on the phone.

“Yeah Dad, I mean, I don’t know. Is it a good idea?”.

He had no idea on what he was offering his opinion. He hadn’t been listening. The voice droned on. Its tone said “of course it’s a good idea, it’s my idea”.

He listened with half his mind and thought of his father’s affair. It had happened in the eighties, before he was born. The woman had been a movie star, fleetingly. She had been half his father’s age. She had been extremely beautiful. The affair had appeared in the papers. He looked it up online sometimes. The photo that always accompanied these mentions was of his father, balding, bloated and be-suited, stood next to the movie star at some premiere. The photo was washed out and lifeless as if it were bleached. In it his father was smiling broadly, his arm hovering behind the back of the woman who looked straight into the camera with a shrewd Mona Lisa smile.

He thought of his mother. She had been at the same premiere. She had worn a black velvet choker and a chenille dress. He couldn’t remember the name of the movie. It had been forgotten, as most movies are once the parties and glamour are gone.

His father’s voice continued to expatiate on “the idea”. There was no need to listen. The idea would be realized and would then expand. Would break the backs of the men charged with turning it into action. The action would crush anyone who opposed, even passively, its aims. Perhaps the idea was based on crushing to begin with? To grind men or property down to pure, intangible capital and suck it up like smoke. This was the founding principle for most of his father’s brilliant and horrific ideas.

The deckhand passed through the cabin. He clicked his fingers at the deckhand and pointed at the empty glass on the table. The deckhand picked it up and asked;

“Another drink, senor? I’ll have the chef make it this time?”.

“Do”.

“Who are you talking to” his father said.

“Just the help”.

He stared at the retreating deckhand’s back and ran a hand through his hair. He cut his father short and hung up the call. He went out onto the deck.

III

She was on her tiptoes, leading over the starboard rail. Even the soft soles of her feet were tanned. The air was as close and dry as a fever. A gull sounded overhead, flying out to an empty sea. He shielded his eyes from the sun and watched her. She shifted her weight from one delicate foot to the other. She was talking to someone below the rail. Her voice carried indistinctly, the words suffocated in the thick air. He heard her chilly, little-girl laugh and she tossed her hair as she laughed. He called her name but she did not turn. He heard the sea lap against the side of the yacht. He walked towards her.

She wasn’t speaking as he approached and he strained to hear another voice. She continued to stare down from the rail. He touched her on the shoulder and she jumped. She was saying something but his mind did not process the words. He was looking down at the small fishing boat that heaved on the crystal water. He was looking into the eyes of the man who stood in the boat. The man stared back.

Buongiorno” he called down.

The man in the boat did not respond.

He nudged the girl’s arm.

“What were you talking about?”.

She didn’t say anything and glanced towards the cabin.

He nudged her again.

“Hey, what were you talking to him about?”.

“Nothing. He’s just some fisherman” she said with a scowl.

He looked down at the fisherman.

“What do you want, pal?”.

The fisherman’s face was as still as the air. He turned and started gathering his nets.

“Hey, I know you understand me, what do you want?”.

The fisherman glanced up disinterestedly and then went back to his nets.

“That’s right, man, pack up your shit and go!”.

The fisherman put down the nets and looked up again, squinting his eyes against the sun. His face, as cracked and red as clay, was a mass of deep wrinkles. His hair was a thick shock of jet black strands, stiffened in sun and saltwater. He wore simple linen clothes; a blue shirt, white pants, both were worn and damp but scrupulously clean. The whites of his eyes were bloodshot from the spray, but the irises were the same unearthly blue as the sea.

“What are you waiting for, man? Go!”

The man squinted up from the fishing boat, his lips slightly parted. He ran his tongue delicately back and forth on the tip of his incisor. He rubbed his hand on his shirt. He looked at the yacht and the girl.

Sto aspettando Dio per tagliare fuori la lingua” he said.

He spoke with the accent of the Northern territories.

“What did you say?”.

The girl touched his elbow.

“C’mon, leave it, he’s not doing anything” she said.

He pulled his arm away. He pointed at the fisherman.

“Look, you got 5 minutes, man. And if you aren’t gone I’m calling the fucking coastguard”.

He stepped away from the railing and turned to the girl, running a hand through his hair.

“What the fuck was he even talking to you about?” he demanded.

“Jesus, Julian. He was talking to me about the fucking boat, OK? Relax”.

“So what was so goddamn funny about the fucking boat?”.

She sighed and began to walk away.

“Where the hell are you, going? Li….”.

He looked down. The boat bobbed lazily on the water, the nets dangling in the water. The fisherman looked up.

“I thought I told you to get the fuck out? Pack your shit up and get that dirty little tub the fuck out of here or I swear I’m calling the harbour master!” shouted Julian.

The sky was as as clear as the crystal water and yet something, something dark, something between a sin and a shadow, fell across the fisherman’s eyes.

Julian turned towards the retreating girl.

“Come back. Look, I’m sorry OK? I…”.

She went into the interior of the yacht.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake” Julian muttered.

He ran a hand across his dry lips. They had a reservation at one of the more upmarket restaurants on the island that night. He loved the restaurant. The food cost good money but the waiters didn’t make a fuss. It meant that their diners were accustomed to luxury. His father had always said this was the mark of a “proper place to eat”. And now the girl was going to sulk and ruin the whole damn thing.

He looked down at the boat. The boat was empty. He scanned the surface of the water. He leaned over the rail. The water was empty. Despite the blazing heat, he felt a tiny, almost imperceptible, chill. He hurried to the port side rail and surveyed the waterline. Nothing. He looked towards the cabin. Through the window he could see the girl. She was curled on one of the sofas twiddling with her phone. He looked out to sea. In the far distance he saw one of the tourist boats pulling into the harbour. The world seemed very still and he listened.

IV

A loud bang ripped through the stifling air. In the cabin, Julian saw the girl jump and drop her phone. He began to run towards the rear of the yacht. He heard one of the deckhands shouting in his own language. The shout was strangled by a strange high pitched noise.

Julian rounded the cabin and looked to the lower deck. The emergency dinghy was sagging and wheezing around a ragged tear in its surface. The deckhand, the older one, was laying on the floor in a puddle of blood and seawater, his legs dangling into the ocean. The fisherman flicked his knife at the floor. Water dripped from his hair and clothes. He reached down, grabbed the body of the deckhand by the belt, hauled his legs out of the water and rolled him fully onto the sodden, bloody deck of the yacht. The fisherman looked up at Julian.

Julian’s lips were moving but no sound was being made. Like a dream, where the mind exhorts the legs to flee from some dark something but they do not obey. He wanted to call the other deckhand’s name and realized that he did not know it. The fisherman stared. Julian absently noticed that, on the man’s forearm was the folded, semi-circular puckered scar tissue that told of a shark bite. He wondered how the fisherman had survived and then remembered, most sharks leave humans alone after the initial bite. They mistake them for seals or large fish and attack, but then, having torn pounds of flesh or muscle from the leg or torso, casually disappear back into the deep leaving the strange bleeding, screaming scrawny thing to its fate. It was called an “exploratory bite”. The fisherman took a single step forward and Julian ran.

The chef, a large pot bellied man, was coming from inside the ship. He was holding a large kitchen knife. The other deckhand, the one who had made the drinks, was with him.

“Qual è stato il rumore? Dove si trova Giovanni?” the chef said.

“The fucking guy from the fishing boat. He has a knife”.

He pointed to the rear of the boat. The girl came running out of the cabin.

“What’s going on?” she whimpered.

Her hands were trembling.

“Go inside, get your phone, call the police”.

“But…”

“Fucking do it! Now!” Julian roared.

The cook was leaning hesitantly around the corner of the cabin There was a whistling sound followed by a thunk, like a dart in a board. A pinprick of sparkling light appeared on the chef’s back out of which flowered a scarlet pattern that spread and soaked the white of his uniform. He took two deliberate but uneasy steps back. A length of thin steel emanated from his chest. His arms were thrown out in front of him like a man sleepwalking. His fingers were twitching and grasping at the air beyond the end of the speargun dart that had run him, almost entirely, through. The girl screamed and ran towards the prow.

Julian watched as the chef collapsed to one knee. A tiny hysterical laugh fizzed in his chest. The overweight man on one knee, a sliver of silver like a rapier or poniard jutting from his tabard, the bulging eyes and mouth agape. He looked like a character in an opera. A ridiculous vaudeville. The chef’s fingers ceased to flail at the end of his hands, he vomited a large quantity of dark blood onto the deck and collapsed.

The fisherman appeared at the top of the opposite stair, behind them. He tossed something behind him that clattered on the lower deck with a metallic clang. His soaked clothes were already beginning to dry in the baking air. His hand, clutching a brutal, serrated knife, hung at his side. The girl screamed and Julian backed slowly towards her.

The deckhand who had been mixing the drinks came at the fisherman with the kitchen knife. The kitchen knife was 8 inches of laser cut steel. Julian’s father had had it imported from Sweden. It had cost €300. It came in a set that cost more than the deckhand would earn in a year. The deckhand slashed at the fisherman and missed. The fisherman wrapped a large, reddened hand around the deckhand’s wrist and pulled it towards him whilst, with the other hand, he drove his own knife deep into the pocket of flesh between the deckhand’s clavicle and shoulder blade. The deckhand staggered back, cursing and roaring. The fisherman looked on. He made no move to strike again. The deckhand raised his knife. The fisherman smiled, revealing a row of perfectly white teeth.

Julian looked at the girl. She was stood next to the sun lounger, wringing her hands; her eyes frantically flicking from the fisherman to the deckhand. Her phone was laying on the deck by the sun lounger. Julian cursed and picked it up, pushing the catatonic girl aside. The phone’s battery was dead.

Drops of blood were dripping from the limp fingertips of the deckhand, spattering and sizzling on the hot wood. He pointed the kitchen knife at the fisherman and swore. The blood formed a small pool that shimmered in the sun’s light. The fisherman began to advance on the wounded man, raising his own knife. The metal was dull save for its blade which, as the fisherman traced it back and forth in lazy sweeps, gleamed with a terrifying, precise glare, as if it were cutting swathes in the sunlight itself.

The strike was like a whip cracked or a frame skipped in a movie. The deckhand dropped his knife and his hands went to his throat. The fisherman clapped his hands on either side of the deckhand’s head and, as the man hit the floor, he pushed the dull knife into the deckhand’s temple. The deckhand tried to scream, to shout, to beg; to offer whatever prayer the dying devote but all that came was blood.

The fisherman pulled the knife free and looked at Julian and the girl. A gull sounded overhead. The fisherman looked up and watched it circling languidly in the brilliant sky. He tucked the knife into his belt.

Fretta nega tutti gli atti loro dignità” he said.

V

When Julian awoke on the lukewarm deck the fisherman had gone. He heard the groaning of the girl behind him and tried to turn over. He found that he could not move. As his conscious mind came fully to wakefulness he felt the ropes biting into him. At the ankles, at the wrists, at the crooks of his elbows. At his throat. The knots used were sure as tides. He was bound to himself and, in turn, bound to the deck. His heart raced and he tried to open his mouth to draw a breath. His mouth was bound with industrial tape. He groaned and a spot at the back of his head thudded painfully in time with his pulse. The girl moaned again, a soft, pitiful sound like a child in sleep. He looked up at the sky.

It was evening. The sun would be disappearing behind the horizon soon, the sky a pastel of tangerine orange and bruised purple. The harbour would glow softly, would become a welcoming galaxy of candles and lanterns. The air would grow balmy, occasional streams of cool air wrapping round you like fresh cotton. The harbour and the sea would slumber, rocked into dreams by the tides. But tomorrow; tomorrow the sun would rise. The sun that had bleached the hills and turned the soils to dust. The sun that scoured its perfect, cloudless sky. Julian prayed, weakly, to a God that he did not believe in. He bargained and bragged and begged and, when he had weighed all the options and outcomes, he asked, very quietly, for a quick and merciful death.

The authorities from the harbour did not bother the huge yachts, or anyone aboard them. They had learned to leave those with the power alone. Men had lost their jobs for presuming that the rules applied equally to all. And anyway, what did it matter? “Lasciala stare”, as they say. Let the rich have their distractions. The ocean was wide enough for all men and the sun shone on both the rich and the poor as equals. Besides, there was real work to do.

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