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For Him

February 26, 2013

thirtythree

You never knew I loved you.
How could you?
For all the pretty tales you tell.
You don’t know people very well.
The crowd, perhaps.
For they shout so loud.
But those who lay close.
Are wondered about.
You dig around for teeth and wrestle them loose.
The ashes in your mouth.
That borne forth betrayal.
That terrible belief.
That your worth can be counted.
That love lays with the Devil in detail.
I still love you, there’s little more.
A little less than what’s in your head.

The way you laugh.
That rough, uphill tumbling laughter.
I used to think you didn’t laugh it enough.
The way you hid it in your chest.
The way you kept the water still.
It slipped out at the joke that you loved best.
You could be so very cruel.
It made me ill, sometimes, that sound.
But you could make me laugh.
You’ll always have that
Around you the world could be a beautiful game.
Everything at stake.
It didn’t matter to win or lose.
As long as the game was played.

You were always so quiet.
Like a lure.
Like a knife.
Reading tarots and dreaming.
Such a dangerous mind.
So sure in its supremacy.
Never heeding its advice.
Strange truth and strange meaning.
It would overflow, at times.
Burst forth, its wings unfurled.
Its sword like The Host.
Its voice like The Word.
People are silenced.
When man is dead.
That voice would sing to the world.
It still rings in my head.
What choice did I have?
I ran from your will.
A happy beggar fleeing from gold.

I still love you.
And I know that’ll still hurt you.
In a way you don’t have words for.
Something wry and personal.
Like the blue of the sky or the black of the night.
My little child, my little lover.
All broken by beauty.
Always looking back to the light.
I know that you’ll see me.
And we’ll leave it unspoken.
Perhaps it’s better that way.
How beautiful the night looks from the dawn of the day.

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From → Poetry

One Comment
  1. fucking brilliant!

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